growing
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If there was a way,
I'd go back today,
to a time,
when I knew who I was.
No not the contruction,
that brought about my destruction,
Just before that,
a time-- when I knew who I was.
I remember when you said
you couldn’t love me
And at the time I was heartbroken
Beside myself with arrogant disbelief
But the truth is
I didn’t need you to love me
Is that really us?
What happened to our graphic tees?
The white tube socks?
Do we always cuff our jeans now?
How do you make it look that neat?
We never really do neat
Or I guess we never used to.
I've learned to eat cold pizza
I've learned to eat mushrooms and sun-dried tomatoes, and I no longer eat all the individual parts of my salad separately
Something I never thought possible
It's the way of your laugh,
to the things that all past.
It's more, it's a testimant,
of growth that we lacked.
It's the left to the right,
when it's right to the left.
It's the process we go through,
It comes into your life-
A fresh soul,
Awaiting a home
Waiting for tender loving and care
You could offer them the world
A field of friends,
Connected by roots
But when you start to neglect
you tried to teach me that I am made of air
quiet, docile, not to be noticed
it wasn't until you tried to burn me at the stake
that I found out I am made of
I'm sorry for all the time I've made you cry And for making you loose that twinkle in your eye I'm sorry if I was the one too break your heart But fixing that is where I plan too start I'm sorry for not trusting in you That's something that I'm tr
Plant a kiss
On whoever’s forehead you can
Without awakening
The more goodbyes the better,
But too many
On those who care too much
Today I’m talking about the experience of growing
It’s hard. Learning to evolve. Learning to be strong
But I am vital. I am loved. And today, I am glowing.
Burn choke crack
Smoking Crack
To fill the crack
Smells like crack
To just get some smack
Id be alive again
Feel alive again
Try again
Walking on eggshells
Never be afraid to turn away from the past.Never be afraid to burn the bridges.Some people can only grow once their roots are nothing but ashes.Like a pine sapling after a raging wildfire.
Soy un viento Fuerte pero suave, fluyendo a través de la vida Callado como un susurro Soy el sol Radiante pero a veces apagado, desanimado de la vida Roto como una luz titilante Soy un árbol Alto pero inseguro, temblando con el caos de la v
Like a small seed beginning to sprout from the soil
A story of many chapters begins
The plot of a life's story cannot spoil
As the small, naive child widely grins
long ago, once upon a time
without a worry in the world
I knew life would be just fine
as I grew and as I learned
all of a sudden I had more concerns
that really scared me at first
You learned that nothing ever stays still,
And that life moves just beneath your feet.
That falling in love is definitely scary,
and that a broken heart doesn't mean defeat.
When I was in the ninth grade
The school wanted us professional in how we dress and how we behave
A certain day of the week
Which they called a bit of a treat
From the normalcy of uniforms of khaki and navy
Everything suddenly changed, beneath the ground that started to split
She thought her feet were on solid ground, a truth she brought herself to admit
The sun could only shine for so long, while a million suns sustained her world
I look back at my freshman year
Blind and as ignorant as can be
To believe there was nothing to fear
My mind was exposed as far as I could see
Girl to Woman
I am just a girl.
12 years and 8 months old when my mother decided to leave.
I am just a girl.
I knew shifts started to happen when I became a man
Less about playing and more about making a plan
They say that the glow up was real
All I see is the oppurrtunity took it and ran
I remember giving a bracelet to one of my babysitter's when I was young. I made it out of my mother's yarn.
you meet these people
on the path of life
as lovers, as friends, as family
as something entirely different
sometimes they stay,
If you ever lose me
You did not chose me
I am a river
You are the bay
I pour all of me into you
For our connection to stay
If you lose me
You did not chose me
When I realized I was growing up
There wasn’t just one instance for me
First came the responsibility
For I was given plenty
Sitting atop ruins
Covering the rotting past
I have found my own hideaway:
This Hundred Acre Wood.
To call my own.
Yes, it is far
When I was younger
I felt very lost
I played with my toys
But didn't realize the cost
I knew I had a mission
For my curiosity to explore
I searched everywhere
But never opened the right door
The days were unnumbered, nobody cared,
Once a child I had nothing to fear,
The years that passed were something I had beared,
I no longer need my mom’s help
Phone bill and food all paid off by myself
Ordering at least three pairs of shoes
My mom now doesn’t have a single clue
My heart flutters and bangs its way throughout my body.
Adrenaline courses through my veins and your hands trace it out of my skin.
Hot breath in my mouth and out yours.
My mind and body so young and sweet
Ready to grasp the world and be free
Questions always spreading from my mind to my fingertips
Young and wild and full of joy
Another year older and brought to different standards
When did we start saying stomach instead of tummy?
“I’m well” instead of “I’m good?”
Steak instead of pizza?
When did we start using words like love instead of like?
Oh little Anika.
You have dealt with crap.
You have been ripped of your innocence,
With social statuses
social quotas, social pressure,
it was blossom of spring
a spring in my step
a beautiful flower rising
up from the broken dirt
the blossoming of new
found and new born life
the life of a girl who used
Childhood.
A concept where everyone hopes,
Wishes, and dreams
Will last a lifetime.
There is much stigma on both sides,
She falls apart often
she pretends it’s alright
But she goes back to that night
it wasn’t the first, it wasn’t the last
but it was the one that shattered her mask
she ignored the things from the past
By : Brianna Garcia
1,2,3
hey little Bri
Everything has changed
It's not how it used to be
from a shy little girl
curled up in her head
to a full grown women
It is bittersweet.
I miss taking you to eat
and I miss rubbing on your feet.
I miss having someone to trust
and to be vulnerable with and to lust
after..
You'd eat my broccoli and I'd eat your crust.
The tyranny of the sun is harsh,
Oppressing its subject
Creating laws which say you always have to smile
But smiling is hard
It's hard to when your friends all smile
Taunting vultures circulate overhead
Without invitation.
The incessant, whipping wings
Pay no mind to
The air that I displace.
It is two am- the limbo between morning and night-
and I have to be up in 5 hours max.
Can't sleep.
All I can think about is time travel
'cause I just watched a movie where they played with time
at the age of twenty-four, i will stand at the foot of my bed and stare down at the single imprint in the mattress
where my body laid for four days.
as a profession of loneliness,
I couldn’t use a glass pen
For it would break
From the pressure I place
All the words and mistakes
It would break
Under my shirt is my skin
under my skin is my heart
under my heart, boiling water
an ocean above flames.
The fuel, words
a combination they call poetry
metaphors and similes
I apologize that you don't like me. I apologize that you don't understand me. I apologize that you never got to know the real me. I will not apologize for being me. I will not apologize for having a dream.
I walk on a thin line. The one that leads to nothing. On either side, a place I am scared to be. I walk in hope of something to revive me.
Inside me is a story of struggles and pains
Its wandered too far and deep in my veins
The story in my veins is behind my blood and skin
It travels throughout my body telling dark tales of sin
I never feel like I belong anywhere and I always feel as though I'm in someone else's space. I don't think this is the way I am suppose feel, I miss being secure and stable in the person I was.
they way that poems speak;
had once spoken to me,
it said, "ain't your time to leave"
don't worry you'll pull through,
you still got air to breath.
but we've got work to do
to get you on your feet
At 9 you will discover feel that you are
So grown up-and in too many ways you are
Because you have to be but please remember
That it’s okay to be a kid
To my First,
I remember the day that I witnessed your impressionable smile and sparkling eyes.
I remember the tiny flutter of my heart, that feeling that you were going to mean something to me.
Dear former self,
I’m writing you from the other side of that place
Where the two rivers meet
You haven’t seen it with your earthly eyes
But have with your soul
You haven’t a memory of it
Dear lost lover,
I miss you in the morning.
My coffee doesn’t taste right without the hint of
your laugh
that you used to add to it.
The birds don’t sound as good as they used to without
indigestible being
that was the lesson--
you had to leave
they needed to
let you go
even though you thought of youself
as sweet
remember,
you too, were poison.
Dear 5 no presents under the Christmas tree,
only means that Santa is still working and refining your gift.
dear 7 loud screams in the kitchen and hiding under the covers wont last forever,
I was nine and in the fourth grade,
I was favorited by the teacher and
By my peers.
I excelled in class and on the playground,
I was the one that brought the fun.
To my ambition,
To my dreams.
At first, you popped into my mind
Like a grape from a vine,
Whilst I watched Youtube videos of
To my younger self,
I did not know
I did not sow
Oh, how you’ve come to grow
In this battle I must have shown
I gave you somethingyou probably shouldn’t of receivedI’m weary eyedthinking about how you seemed to lead
charming sweet smiledemeanor honest and truthfulwhy did my heart have to be so couthful?
A heaving chest,
Quick breaths,
You stole the very air from my lungs.
A watchful eye,
Beautiful surprise,
You took my focus for yourself.
A thumping heart,
Set apart,
A smile on my face even when it hurts to make it happen
A ache in my heart , not knowing why it's happening
A broken mind,trying to holding on to every piece
pain and anger is the only things escaping me
I've fallen into the mirror again
Eyes on me, but where have mine been
Escape this version I try to explain
Lost within the thoughts in my brain
Anticipating the end of my rope
America, the great dream
That lured so many
Still a renounced temptation
America the great dream of more
More land, more space, more freedom
You can breath
There is room to grow
take this cup away from me
do not force me to believe the lies you feed me
i can see them a mile away.
like the greens on the plate of a child.
they're avoided and taste awful when swallowed
i snap and snarl
when thoughts dark and vial
are found inside my head
so with my jaws
and help from the Lord
i shake them out of my head
when the thoughts grow back
I. January
Do you want to know what it’s like to be introverted?
Imagine you are at a pool; music playing, people laughing
You splash your way around, treading on the tips of your toes
Floating
2016 was just another year for me.
But I know as the new year comes, 2017
I will grow smarter, more responsible, and ready to take on new challenges.
2017 is the year I graduate.
I cry.
I cry, I cry, I cry.
I drown - my mind draws a blank,
Everyone is flying,
Down, I drown.
One breath of air,
But I don't see the source of oxygen.
I breathe, but small, cautious breaths.
1460 nights agotogether,
we sit
on top of a stranger’s washer and dryer
our legs swing
our hearts pound
Chipped nails, relieved breaths
I let go of filing, and painting and repeating
Two years of ink, deep breathes
All for a sheet of paper, it hangs on my wall
New room, cold breaths
I don’t remember January.
I came into this year terrified,
A friend about to commit suicide.
Tears, tears
Are all January brought.
I remember my first
A story about hidden pain
A story about the desperate cries
I remember my first
Because then, I had nothing to gain
I found my mind devouring the paper
When I was 4, I spoke with a stutter.
My parents were concerned- I, I, I, didn't know I spoke the way I did.
When I, I, I, was 8, my stutter went away.
No, it did not vanish, it made a home in my brain.
On the day my sibling chose the rope
A woman came to the door
After dad cut him down
I listened to his chest
There was no beat
Growing up,
I learned that if I wanted to be with the angels,
I had to attack the situation from a different angle,
In order to earn my halo,
Which I should never hang low.
Growing up,
I wrote three poems this morning.
One was lost on the all encompassing sea of digi-perdition
The second wasn't true.
This one had better mean something.
Why am I still standing here
In this place where I was once happy
Even though I close my eyes
I still feel you staring down at me
Why won't you leave me alone?
How am I supposed to move on with this stare?
I remember the days of having a prime directive
The forward motion of my life insured beyond doubt
I had a line to tow me in if the tide of the world grew too strong
everything i write lately has been nothing but pain
but i fail to notice all the flowers
growing from the rain
i see the storm
not the cleanse
i see a new beginning
as the end
I reminisce of weightlessness:
peering down into 10, 20 feet of air.
My delicate days,
I recall,
as a haze
full of branches:
a careful cloud
of offshoots
that, long as I could,
The sands fall wastefully,
Across the charcoal floor,
How? I ask, with a harrowed sigh,
Might I fill the glass with more?
I am the girl with the new glance each day
I open my eyes all bright and shiny
The morning shimmers in fresh irises
now blue, now green, then brown again
Have you ever seen someone so transitional?
The things I see in the darkness of my room at night
they flicker with fairy-like insincerity of dreams you don't quite remember
Memories of your hand in mine fades like I've rubbed my eyes too hard
I have seen so little in this life
The people I know fill my head with stories
but my eyes have not seen the fullness of this earth
I have seen so little of this world
I am a human
I started small
And grew up large
Started thin
And gained my curves
I am a human
I have two strong legs
That carry me
Daily
Across school
Across my journey
As the cool wind blew briskly through the barren forest a single head of fire bounced down t
I am a growing tree
but I'll always be cut down.
They tore out all of my flowers,
and threw them on the ground.
Yet I'll continue growing,
I'm never going to stop.
Even if they all uproot me
A eight-year does not sit in the summer grass and think up their future selves.
They think of the next glass of kool-aid and
where their "pet" frog went.
Oh to have a beard,
that is my dearest wish.
I am so smooth and hairless
just like a little fish.
It would be smooth and silky
like ladies underwear
Today I went through my poems
and threw out everything I ever wrote about you
Yesterday, I would have cried
Time, I’m begging you please
Slow down for me
You’re going too fast
Like a child running mad
Yes, Like a child running mad
Time, please go real slow
I remember when our connection had its first break: I changed so sudden, and the whole time I was feeling your heart break. It was a pain so strong that sometimes I still feel your heartache.
Four trees grew in a clearing
A weeping willow
An oak
A dogwood
And a sapling.
A stranger planted the sapling
Flowers have been planted in my heart
Roots intertwineing with my veins pulling them apart
Seeds burrowed deep inside my chambers
The planters thinking they are doing me a favor
Some stay and help them grow
I am from a small house with many people,
The sound of birds and smell of food.
Toys all around and bikes scattered on the ground.
Sitting at a full table and dreaming of a new life.
These times are clouded by impenetrable facades;
Captivated by the immaculate charades.
Foreseen by those that are watching in awe,
As they stand only to be cursed and decay.
Life and its troubles are changing
with each passing day
the world’s Pain is severe and unending
and can lead the strongest-willed astray
But a bigger part of the soul,
Notice all the old folks, hear them say
What happened to the kids nowadays?
Sitting on their ass, shorts way too high
Lying, cheating with pants down to their thighs
This is the age of the young, wild, and free
Growing Pains
I think we become a bit of everyone else before we truly become ourselves.
I always told my mom that
I wanted to be this beautiful girl
I saw on tv when I grow up.
I gaze into the mirror, wait that isn't me
Someone else is looking back at me
An eldery man, clean shaven with striking brown eyes
I then realize, they are mine.
Sunken cheekbones of slow death
Sweet flower, oh so delicate
Awaiting to bloom, within the first week of November
To have something to give thanks for
The beautiful flower that is to come
I made myself in their image by the time I was 13.
Squeezed my body into the pieces of their machine.
My laugh too boisterous, I learned to snicker.
My smile too wide, I snapped it in half.
The strong person finds inspiration in pain and strife.
The weak person wallows in it.
Choose your person
Find your strength
Remember who you are,
What you stand for
As a seed we learn and soak in experiences and hurt.
Our growth is formed solely in our direction whether we follow the light of the sun or the dark of the room.
But to learn in the right we must be taught by another.
The legend of the koi fish goes that if the koi fish swims up the waterfall
it one day it will become a dragon.
Since I was little,
I'm my own mind,thoughts, and process
Creating thoeries from my past
Asking why did I turn out the way I am
Thinking sullenly like the dark clouds in the sky
Why must
you make me suffer?
One error and I am faulty?
Why do you uproot my regret
and prevent me from my blossom?
Even the most delicate rose
has its thorns, and you still
Lights Within Us
Ashley Shea
A spec afar
Whose luminosity amplifies as darkness approaches
A small light Suspended in the gloom
Much like the hearts within us
Social Media
Facebook -
Making a page that will deliberately describe what I want to say.
Please take a minute and look into my eyes
I'm going to speak a little of my demise
You see, Just one job could change my life
if you look at me, you can't see my strife
A good friend of mine once told me
"Close friends? You don't have them.
They're all over there, away from you,
Because you, yourself, are making a schism."
This struck me as odd, and I stopped.
Rising like a Tree
Grow, grow, grow
Reach for the sky
Climb ever so high
Never stop
When I am left alone
I feel as though i'm fake.
A clay sculpture that can't live
a mistake no one can fix.
What it has done to love,
a wound never being healed,
only getting worse,
I am the strange man.
The man that is a boy.
The boy that is a man.
I play words as a decoy, I refuse to write and wrong
with the same hands.
So I try to write as well as I can.
he counts the money in his wallet
the bills running through his cold hands
he imagines them
as her hands
she counts the freckles on her shoulders
her skin is cold
The night she will always remember
Her eyes wide, the lights dim around her
Silence
i dream of happier days:before the cell phone,her now-constant companion.before computers, iPods.before she caredabout how she looks.about fitting in,conforming.back when a night light
From this distance,
The outline of her is only visible.
Time has made a small impact,
But her coldness has caused the gap
I call her name,
Only to see her respond to another.
I fear myself
well who i think i might be
i might be gay
but my heart denies me
it tells me no yours as straight as they come
and then i see her and the butterflies run
War.War within myself,War surrounds me.Inside I'm freedom,but self-made bonds are magnetizing me.
There was constant sobbing
That could not be held in any longer
They sat on their bed looking at their body
They knew that they were not worth the effort
They didn't want to belong on this planet
From the time we come into this world
To the time we pass away,
Our souls continue to grow
I have a growing soul.
When we begin to crawl, walk
Then talk,
Our souls continue to grow
I'm tired of pretending I'm happy.
I'm tired of pretending I'm okay.
I'm tired of pretending I don't care,
when there's so much more I could say.
I'm crying out, but no one hears.
Be free like you should beOnly 16.I won't hold you back any longerIn the mess I'm used toThe abuse I've gone through.
I constantly feel like I'm growing,
my knowledge, height, but always terrified of it happening to my waist
because that's what I was taught growing up
that beauty depended on the number on a scale
I’m like a vine of ivy
I need a tree to climb
I will grow so long and lithe
I’ll make that flora mine
The moment I reach the sky
feel O2 in my green
I am a testament to
small
potatoes.
I am a testament to childhood dreams I forgot I had,
Only to uncover them in fit of tears and to the knowledge that
Change changes the page
Of the story I live,
Rearranges the stage
Of the performance I give.
Swiftly sifting the sands
Of this time,
Surgically snipping the strands
Of my prime.
You stare at your reflection,
Sighing at your imperfect complexion.
Your now “okay” haircut that’s past the trend,
And your pouty face you try to defend.
I am an adult in a child's body,Borrowing Mommy's risque red lipstick,Wearing her sky high black heels, andStrutting around with her cell phone in my hand.
One, two, three, four, five, / A child's delight so simple, / Green and growing, she.
I live my life trying to create such precious memories.
Living with all these people I thought were a friend to me.
Tonight the moon is rusty redHanging low over the horizons bedI haven't seen to far beyondThat's going to change when I'm goneI've always felt the sting of bright lightsI just yearn for starry nights.
The houses of the holy made from rotting pine and ichor
the soft sinew of fallen things abounds
the stench of decomposing things could palpitate a figure
in miasmatic rapture from the grounds
Time may separate
Yet thoughts and feelings transcend
Finding their way home.
I would say I love the like the night loves the day,
But we cannot correlate the feelings of all the times I created each one.
My poems were a song of sorrow,
They expressed my deepest anger with the world I used to know.
I have always lived in a world of fantasy
unicorns, mermaids, werewolf's, monsters.
The thoughts and hopes and dreams of a child
feeling beyond her years.
Being made from pataches of different colors
Here I am, once again
Sitting in the same place, same routine, same faces
I’ve mistaken a change in pace to be progress, a step out of this mess
I’m discouraged at the realization, no longer through the rearview mirror;
Little tiny tricycle
All shiny and new
Painted bright red
With a little white stripe
Ready to ride,
To stride, to wheel,
Ready to begin,
Eager,
To be ridden by one
Who would enjoy it,
Hello
My name is Ashleigh
I am a 19 year old African American female that was born in December
Not only am I trying to succeed in beating out the statistics
I am also proving that I can and will be something
If I were a tree, I would want to
grow, tall, and round
green and brown.
I would stretch my branches wide,
so that children, in them, would hide.
And when my time to go was near,
I would never shed a tear.
Tossed in the air, how's it gonna fall?
sometimes two options are easier than all,
but you never really understand,
the power is out of your hands
I can still hear the sound of the echo
In my time of need, words rushed me
Incoherent and strangled words
Fearful and swarming in my mind
So I took them into my hand
And stuffed them into my pocket
They became scattered and sullied
I’ve daydreamed myself invisible.
Lost in the blur of faces, names, laughter, colors.
The school hallways are Tetris, and I’m a piece trying to fit before I am crowded out.
Crowds.
I’ve daydreamed myself invisible.
Lost in the blur of faces, names, laughter, colors.
The school hallways are Tetris, and I’m a piece trying to fit before I am crowded out.
Crowds.
