heart break
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I have heard people say that they were going through Hell,
And most of the time, they didn’t need to say anything, and you were able to tell.
Each day I feel myself going further and further away from you,
But every once in a while, you still pop into my mind in everything that I do.
I don’t know why it is so hard for me to let you go,
Two weeks to the day was when things ended between you and I,
And I no longer feel the need to sit here and ask myself why.
Why I wasn’t good enough for you, and why I couldn’t be what you wanted,
I hate the games that our generation likes to play,
And it has made me lose faith in trying to find love someday.
Because no one can actually choose to say how they feel,
Waves
One second you are fine, and the next second it hurts again,
Because I don’t even care that I lost you as a lover, but part of me still does miss you as a friend.
At first it was hard to see them go by,
Because they reminded me of my one and only guy.
The guy who had my heart from the start,
The day that you left, it felt like my whole world came crashing down,
And that there was no way that I was going to be able to pick myself up off of the ground.
I think I finally realized what the true defintion of love is,
That it is something that can also be scary and terrifying, and is not just romantic and full of bliss.
That was what finally made me realize that I loved you,
Taking it day by day is all that I can do,
Because no matter how hard I try, all I think about is you.
One day I am fine, and the next day I am falling apart,
The problem wasn't that we didn't take a step,
We dove in headfirst without a second to prep.
A love-wounded heart and a selfish soul.
Set off on a doomed journey, no aim, all the way humms of all the Hassels she claimed.
The problem wasn't that we didn't take a step,
we dove in headfirst, without a second to prep.
A love-wounded heart, and a selfish soul,
set off on a doomed journey, no aim, all the way she humms all the Hassels she claimed.
It took 10 years to teach myself how to breathe again
How to live without pretending that’s what I was doing
To stop allowing myself to die quietly
As to not inconvenience the neighbors
I was never good at playing these games
Rolling the dice
Going on dates
Crossing my fingers and hoping for the best
I was never the master of board games
Or video games
Or games involving…. Me
I know that I am my home
but I wanted YOU to be my home
I laid the groundwork for my nest
I collected the pebbles and bits of paper
I gathered my hopes and my dreams and laid them at your feet
I fell for youPut myself on my knees for youAnd youYou broke meRemember how I loved you?Remember how I gave youflowers just because youwere my loveremember, the daythe day I took you to
Why do you play this game with my heart?
My heart can't take your words anymore
I can't take your off and on behaviour
I don't understand how you can play a person like this
Why do you play this game with my heart?
I ache. I cry. I weep like the flowers during a storm when they feel like they’re drowning. I feel like I lost something. A part of me. You stole my purity that I can never get back.
Don’t let a heavy heart from loving tomorrow
We must stand up and love for ourself
Put everything aside
Hug ourself
The little me is crying inside of me
I am ignoring because I despise me
You and I are like the sky and the ground,
we see each other but we can never meet.
Like the sun and the moon we are far apart,
only appearing when one disappears.
We keep our hearts in parallel dimensions
I see the city lights
They’re a little too bright tonight
I’m going too fast in the fast lane
I’ve become a little more reckless
Since you left
if you love me let me go
your words: an axe to my throat
blood is fucking everywhere
you ripped it out of me
what happened to forever
it’s easy to be lonely
in the lights of this city
wondering why you can never look me in the eyes
when you tell me that im pretty
the white of my body
more snow than skin
ice cold to the touch
i know you think i’ll thaw
this ice age has no end
my fire stopped burning
i drink to forget
so many things
i drink to forget
what you look like
what he looks like
what the inside of his car looked like
Rain descends from the clouds above. The darkness looms, covers and devours your love. Leaves fall, die and turn to dust. Inside you is this burning lust. A desire to be free. To open your eyes and see.
Drugs were addicting. I suppose I enjoyed seeing everything and feeling nothing. Though I did kind of feel alive - to be staring into the face of the Grim Reaper. He once wrapped his hands around my throat.
A broken soldier in the quiet night
dying to take back the light
head high in a losing fight
to hide from those who know
with each swing, a child died
not just his, but the one inside
I never know what you are.
Because every time I see you, it hurts a little less.
You are everything and nothing
Everywhere and no where
I never know what you are.
Maybe I’m in denial
You took the knife and slit your wrists
Saying you didn’t deserve me
And no you didn’t but I choose you
Like a bird chooses the highest tree
To nest in
The clenching in your chest?
Honey, that's just a monster
Escaping from the depth of your shattered mind,
Trying to hold your heart together,
For if your heart stops, what will the monsters have left to haunt?
Loop by loop,
Spool by spool,
I knit and knit,
I use my tool.
Every time
Each new row,
I feel my heart,
Begin to grow.
Loop by loop,
Spool by spool,
“You are the thunder that echoed through the night;
died off in the distance and stayed out of sight.
Every day an endless nightmare;
every night a dying dream.
A sleepless heart,
"All this time I thought, all this time I thought things could be fixed, like that time I broke the door open with my fist. Left a hole in the wood, splinters on my skin, was bleeding from the knuckles, felt the pain set in.
I fell in love at a bus stop
I fell in love and came out on top
I fell for him and it was my fault
I fell in love at a bus stop
Across the rows
I crossed alone
More than hope
Change is persistent
time our worst enemy
tick tock, tick tock
fleeting, changing, evolving
my heart, porcelain, its delicate structure shattering as it hits the bottom
some people say they love you just make you feel you have a purpose
some people say they care but they don't
some people say they'll be there for you but when you go to them they leave
I was in love with you Closed my eyes and dipped myself backwards knowing the enemy laid beside meI was in love with you And the way you talked about blue skies and how gravity tears us apart. I was in love with youWith the way you leaned over an
My Dearest Acquaintance,
Did you ever know how gently my hand could have grazed your face,
Dared I reach a few inches more or dared you stand less straight?
My LoveHe was mean, but for an unknown reason Kind and loving all the same He was protective of those near him, but never too much to let them know how he loved them so His walls were strong
My Dear Mr. Goodbye,
I never wanted to let you go,
I never wanted to see you run.
I know that I held on far too long.
I knew when you were already done.
I refused to ever believe
I cannot truly apologize for falling out of love with you… I do not know if I can say I ever truly was. I realized that you were right- there are girls who are prettier, smarter, funnier, more outgoing. Better.
You destroyed me
in the most beautiful ways
and I stand here
admist my own ruins
craving for you
to break me,
again
A man sits on a lawn chair
Beneath a sun-stained umbrella
With sunglasses perched
Atop a reddened nose.
A year ago,
Songs, songs were just songs.
Songs that were tunes to jam to.
We had songs,
Certain songs.
Mostly 90s alternative songs.
Songs that when I heard them made a warm rain the perfect dance floor.
Pain?
This pain i cant seem to tame,
I never thought i would experience this
because i just miss...
i just miss you, i just miss us
even when people say "it was just lust."
January bloomed in full moon,And I fell in love after a drunk dropHit my lips, hit my hips.I cried and criedAnd sang jazz each night,Until he put his left hand in my right.
Years are measured;
Not by the days,
but by the time that takes up the days.
Time is measured;
Not by a clock,
You were like an onion
Hard but easy to peel
Wondering how far I should stand away from you before cutting you
Before you start to make me cry
Again
Knowing you make me cry everytime
I'll never tell you I like you.
I'll never admit how much better my day iswhen you talk to me.
I'll never say"I want you."
I'll never tell anyone that you're the only one I look forin the hallways.
I am thinking about you.
I wonder if you're thinking about me too.
I hear rumours that you have a new girlfriend.
I see you have moved on.
I want you with me.
I am thinking about you.
I see the tears cascading down your cheeks.
I understand the pain oozing from your heart.
I hear the words coming out of your mouth
And I see that you are hurt.
But I do not feel your pain.
“I’m seeing someone else” July 18th 2016, I’ve never felt more pain. As you send me these words they stab like daggers, My heart drops to my stomach and I suddenly feel nothing. Memories of joy and happiness flee and I am left
The memories burn my heart like the alcohol that runs down my throat every 1am that I can't sleep
And I can't sleep because the thought of you keeps my mind wandering
And the thought of you is so beautiful, it hurts
who can help me
find where my heart went
I've been holding everything in
and I need to vent
he told me it was love
and I was convinced
I tried to hit a home run
and I missed
now I'm here empty
How could I be so stupid?
I thought you were more
But when I showed you the baggage I come with,
you left
Just like that.
Just friends.
Because just friends don't unpack baggage;
A mountain to climb, an emotional high
A divot in our path, and suddenly we crash
Into the ocean, drowning in waves
I lie in bed, pleading for you to stay
A sky to navigate
The Great Unknown
"Stretched across me was a spark of lightening,
One touch that tore me to pieces.
What was it,
I did,
for him to derail my mind
across these broken eyelids.
I gave it my all,
You must have forgotten I ain’t a quitter I bleed sugar and syrupCan’t hurt what is already broken No words even need to be spoke All your lies I have already heardMay be I was just a toy for your amusement Abusing and confusing my feelings for sa
Leap of faith into the wind,
Parachute back in resemblance of the staggered memories of independence.
The title, "us!" is presented with both neighboring feelings of worry and hope,
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.I say it in my head again.Again. Out loud. But just above a whisper.Repeat it again in the shower. It gets lost in the melody.Mixing in the steam in the background.
Love, such a crazy little thing
at first it makes your heart flutter
everything is suddenly rose tinted and bright
You become stronger
And there you are, a single leaf lingering in the breeze, a beautiful memory meant just for me
There is a hole in my heart that only you can fill, but the branches have overgrown in your absence
Love shouldn't hurt.
I shouldn't have tear drop stains on my shirt.
I shouldn't feel like I'm alone,when you're in the room.
I shouldn't feel weak , with you I should be strong.
I see you.
Your lies shinging bright in the darkness that surrounds me.
My frail heart was placed in your cold hands
Barely beating.
You breathe on warmth
You smile as my body glows.
Your like rain in July,
You break me down,
All I wanna do is cry.
Your like Winter,
On a sunny day,
Your devieving,
Heart-Breaking,
Your like the rain.
I was your first.
You were my last.
We were the rage.
Now, we’re the past.
I was at the house, you were gone.
And you were wrong. How dumb do I look?
And my clothes, drenched in perfume
Wondering if you can smell it too.
Because of the lipstick on your cheek,
I'm too nervous to speak.
What a miserable experience it is to be unloved by the one you love most.
Your eternal fixation left in the dust.
They who occupies all facets of your mind never even had you in theirs.
The toil and torture.
and rain stutters
over greasy pavement
slicked with oil
and I stutter
over words like
cracks in the soaked
sidewalk.
and your car stutters
To live without you
is just like any other day in my shoes
you act like you are always going to be here.
but when I go home and stare at my phone I realize that you really don't care
Time slows down
One minute the equivalent of an hour,
One hour seems like a day,
One week is an eternity.
He loved her, giving her his heart with trust
doing so knowing, so fragile, it could shatter to dust
much trust was a mistake indeed
as soon, she threw it down to break and bleed
she left him for a "better heart"
The heart keeps beating through pain and adversities of what we call life . My tears express the aches of this lonely heart of mines . The whole world looks as IF it's in peace, but my world is crumbling.
Moon claimed his love
The day when sun gleamed and
moon brightened without fear,
was the day when the sun died to
brightened the moon.
The time when moon was alone,
Young
like a kid and wild
like a forest
i meet him and felt complete
for seven hundred thirty days
i felt alive
and loved.welcomed
we wasted time,
long talks on the phone,
We started with a "hey"
We ended in "good bye"
You left me on the floor
Pretending I'm fine
But you left me out to dry
And all you had were lies
I think about you everyday
I thought it was a thing but it was just a fling,truely it was games played by a player. Thought I made myself clear about trust being dear.
I know a boy, who is not a man, but a gentle beast
Not much too look at, Yet he managed to catch my eye.
Whose eyes have seen life’s greatest joys and her sorrows
I try and I try and try, still nothing. I put my heart into everything, still nothing, I spent my whole live searching for the good in my life, still nothing, I try to be nice and generous to everyone I meet, still nothing.
I try and I try and try, still nothing. I put my heart into everything, still nothing, I spent my whole live searching for the good in my life, still nothing, I try to be nice and generous to everyone I meet, still nothing.
There’s a fire burning within
Fueled by pure sin
Tormenting thoughts and soundless cries
Reminiscing on each of his lies
My fingers have froze the tips are bleeding a gentle stream of flowing red blood. Everything I love is slowly fading away or frozen in time within my mind.
i understand not
why i write this poetry
i understand not
filled with happiness i cannot be
i understand not
why love is so fleeting
i understand not
why this sad little drum i keep beating
I was on a stroll, when I took a glimpse
Of a garden in a man’s home.
Petals, leaves, vines were behind the fences
Fragrances, shaped, colors invaded my senses,
Leaves turn from red to gold,
The summerlight is replaced by the cold,
Long days are now short.
Why are you still here?
I thought you would have left,
But you're still here.
The heart-wrenching news you tell me nowadays
Is stored in the latched box of my distant mind; it decays
Into my deepest and darkest ponders,
And upon reminder is where this distraction wanders.
Do you know the difference?
It's your new-found lack of interest
The way we used to speak,
About this life,
That romantic time at Miller creek,
You made me feel so much alive,
Like a game of Russian Roulette,
I sit here and I sweat.
My palms are cold and wet.
I am waiting for the gun
To make its way to me.
When I found out I liked boys
I knew I would be boy crazy
Every time I liked one, another one seemed to amaze me
Then, when I found about a relationship, it would blaze me
our Love is like a rose.
Beautiful to the eye,
And deadly to touch.
Feeding off of words so lovely and sweet.
Thriving off of passion and feelings so deep.
As I grew older, my mind became bolder
With every touch of passion, I become clutched
I began to write when I began to reason reality, a creative formation status of my full mentality
Some days it’s so easy to forget; it’s like it never happened.
Other days, it’s impossible to ignore; I wish it never happened.
I thought I could leave it all behind, but it keeps catching up to me,
You had me beside you
We laughed
We talked
We were perfection…
Up until the point where I was charmed into your words
You came up with the idea
And I had found a spot
And together we dug
Scary winds, so rough and so strong
Emptiness, that feels so wrong
Loneliness, dragged on for too long
My warm heart, once full of love and light
Was torn away from me one starry night
Kiss me, shove me, break me
Turn these shades to black & blue,
Peel back this skin, make it new
Love me, hate me, infuriate me
Scream a little louder; I can't hear you,
They say that elephants are the only mammals that can die of a broken heart.
But what about people?
I put on a front by smiling
While in fact I was actually dying.
No one knew that my heart longed for love.
This is the story that is more about nothing. More or less the present day Cinderella story where nothing turned into something.
Love was in our verses, Love was never perfect, when the music had played out its like god came and birthed it. Heaven had met earth it had finally scratched the surface, those three years that i spent had really felt like they were worth it.
A purple hydrangea petal lies on the floor
empty, its’ life can’t be seen anymore
The flowers has bloomed, the blossoms have died
Every petal a tear drop that has landed while cried
A purple hydrangea petal lies on the floor
empty, its’ life can’t be seen anymore
The flowers has bloomed, the blossoms have died
Every petal a tear drop that has landed while cried
The day you left me,
Was the day my life was lifted away.
My heart was filled with sadness.
My soul cried out for you to come back to me.
Losing you killed me.
No one can understand how I felt.
When it happened I wanted to scream.
The pain inside me was a tightening belt.
I was struck by an ominous lighting beam.
I wanted to sit in the sun and melt.
