' 'suicide'
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If I gave up and said goodbye
It's because I lost the ability to cry
This pain I've felt I never knew why
I just couldn't keep up with the lie
Never would've predictated that I'd be in this position
Tears running down a mom's face
She never knew her daughter was in this place
The mom could see all the red but not much more
There was so much blood pooling on the bathroom floor
"you know i was looking for your death certifit" are 9 words no 14 yo should know let alone say to his best friend
Blankets bind chains around me,
yet they feel so safe and warm.
Ghosts bring fire to my life,
so why do I feel so worn.
Saviors still offer a hand,
but give hope for a price.
The way you’re powerless over the worst parts of yourself. The bittersweetness of giving in and proving right every doubt you had about you ability to quit. The satisfaction in the pain and sight of gorgeous blooded skin.
The way you’re powerless over the worst parts of yourself. The bittersweetness of giving in and proving right every doubt you had about you ability to quit. The satisfaction in the pain and sight of gorgeous blooded skin.
the pain reminds me of what i've done
stinging
burning
lashing
all the way up my forearms and my thighs
so i can feel it for days on end
the dark red blood that stains the carpet
Temporary Suicide
a forced coma, a needed break
Temporary Suicide
asleep underwater, yet you awake
Temporary Suicide
He didn’t know how much it meant to me,
When he told me that he was proud of me.
Instead he kept living with the mindset that it meant nothing,
That his words rolled off of my back
I long for the feeling of being myself
Will this ever stop?
Thoughts are racing,
Slowly but surely I’m becoming more and more of myself,
And each step I take,
Anxiety:
Hands shaking, thoughts swarming, breath not reaching; just breathe, just breathe.
I can’t get it out of my head, it’s like a hurricane up there.
Am I alright?
While everyone fell asleep
I stayed awake
Writing until my hand ached
Letting it all out
The paper can’t judge
It's gonna get better
The words are spoken to me
So often
That they have developed a rhythmic tone
Its gonna get better
then it hits me like a truck
when my friends see my thighs
and really focus
will they notice the scars
All I Ever Wanted Was To Stop FeelingI Wanted It To Go Away For GoodNo One Is Listening; Is Anyone There?They Keep Fighting; I'm Losing This BattleWhy Are They Here To Begin With?
One night
an angel fell
the the tears he had
gave away what he felt,
inside and out
broken he was
but never ever
gave it a thought,
the wings he once wore
were fragile,
The grass was turning yellow
The leaves began to drift away
You left me all alone
I never thought today would be the day
Your skin was cold
There was no air in your body
never again will i trust
anyone who dares
tell me
“i’ll never leave”
you are all damn liars
time i will never get back
Rest easy young one
Rest easy soldier
They try to appease with money oil and greed
But in order to succeed
You don’t need faith effort or belief
Blood drips slowly,
Down my sides,
As I sit atop the floor.
Pools.
Pools of red.
Pools of coagulation
In my blank white sink.
“Beautiful” pain.
He knocks.
Jaw drops.
She comes in.
She was told she was different.
She was told she was an “abomination to God.”
She got dumped by her girlfriend.
She has a broken heart.
I spoke to an unnamed soldier
Whose body I found floating on the river of his tears
We talked of things long gone
As he began to open, I dared to open my mouth
My love is bigger than my heart can bare
It swelled at the thought of you
My love for you was free like the wind in my hair
I knew from the beginning this was too good to be true
They say ”sticks and stones,
May break my bones,
But words will never hurt me”
But what about all the words,
That took the lives of many,
If your feet need a place to rest
They can rest right here with me
If your eyes are red and tired
I’ll give them something new to see
Gone.
Disappear.
Fly away.
I’m struck with the grief of leaving you
Or was it you leaving me?
In my head only one thing seems to matter-
She told me that I need to let her go.
She said that I don't need to be okay with this, but I can't stop her.
I thought she was the worst friend in the world.
How could I go on living if she'd stopped?
I knew my childhood was fleeting the moment I came home from school one day.
My mom was holding back tears and just staring at me, no words to say.
When she gained her composure, I learned my cousin had died.
The day you left me was the closing of my heart like a knot
My life soon became a dead pulse just as yours caused by the knot
I was without words and my tongue was twisted like the knot
If I knew then, what I know now,
I would of helped my saddened friend.
If I knew then, what I know now,
I wouldn't ignored, your silent tears.
You said you were going for a run.
That's what you told your mom.
You were running but from yourself.
You left your son.
Did you tell him you love him?
Say your final goodbye?
Why would you leave him?
Stepdaddy never showed up
for my birthday party
even though Momma called.
He didn’t show up at the
hospital when Grandpa
couldn’t estimate my carbs.
He never showed up again
slowly highways teach me to gnaw years off their concrete,
from the worn bumper stickers and yellowed life
lines, about fifteen feet above, watching over exit forty-five,
I want, I need
I’ve laughed, I’ve cried
But I’m not to crazy
To commit suicide
It’s not my only choice
So stop saying that it is
I want, I need
I’ve laughed, I’ve cried
But I’m not to crazy
To commit suicide
It’s not my only choice
So stop saying that it is
The stars, they sing. They sing a lullaby to the world that helps them fall asleep. I, on this cliff, can see the world closing its eyes. Lights turn off, windows close, doors lock.
Breathe.
Blade to skin
Blade to skin
The pain will go away.
Breathe.
Blade to counter
Blade to counter
Pain doesnt kill pain.
Breathe.
Blade away
Blade away
Whose razor is that? I think I know.
It's owner is quite sad though.
It really is a tale of woe,
I watch her frown. I cry hello.
She gives her razor a shake,
And sobs until the tears make.
i was bullied
-god it feels so wrong to call it that-
it was so much more than that
it feels like i should call it less
i was sexually harrased
-god it feels wrong to actually put it into words-
Blood, sweat and tears
As fear lurks in the shadows
Blood dripping down your leg
As it stains the sheets
Crying out in pain and agony
But yet your screams for help
Are muffled
Crying doesn't kill, use it to make an ocean and surf and swim and let it wash away your pain.
Why do I care
Why do I shed tears
Weeping for thy torn skin
Wish I could shed them with one rinse
To take your pain away
Why bother living
I have a friend who smiles brighter than any star you will see in the Milky Way galaxy and everywhere she went, she made sure to make others happy but... She wasn't happy herself and eventually became suicidal.
As a young adult looking back on the past, the amount of mistakes made is unfathomable. I feel as if the most important is something we all struggle with everyday.
Maybe I am just being overdramatic
That’s what I thought
Till he laid his hands on me
And then I knew I was tainted
I wasn’t fooling anyone
When you slipped that noose around your neck
I was at home unaware,
Unaware of the next challenge in my life
As you took a leap
I was sleeping not worried about you
I have met Death
One could say Death is my friend
The first time I met Death, I was 5
My friends had all left me, leaving me alone on the playground
i sit and see it in your eyes,
a mirror of mine,
a want to find
Home
to be free,
a want to leave
home
and to be set free.
i sit and see on your face,
I recite my favorite poem while lying unconscious
Feeling the warmth flowing down my arm
Regaining conscious I see the bright light
I struggle to understand where I am
Blood is thicker than water
As a little girl's father liked to say
Yet the girl can't help but think
What if a heart can change it's way
I know times were hard but this came out of nowhere
When this occurred I was completely unaware
I know life got rough but I never thought it would come to this
I went there again
You know...
The dark place
Where I swore I wouldn't go anymore
I did the thing
I said I wouldn't do again
But I did
I'm sorry
Hello? Hello?
If you must go
Tell me where
I'll send you letters
"please don't be scared"
How can I not be scared if you leave me alone
This isn't a nightmare I can just wake up from
Why I'm smiling but just pretending?Why I'm fine breathing but still suffocating?why I'm empty but feels so heavy?...Will i ever be happy??
Oh......
Drops of water descending from the silver faucet
Looking at the arms that once belonged to a pure soul
A dark feeling rushes from head to toe
As the blade is drawn upon her tender forearms
I miss you, darling
When you gave up
I thought the turning of the world would stop.
I see you, darling
In every tear
But loving you, made me lose my fears
I hate you, darling
Why'd you go
We spend our days
trying to be someone
only to spend our nights
realizing that we are only ourselves.
I find myself in this position too
I am a person of survival
I've always been my own rival
They've always told me what to do
Not sure what to do
Lost in a world where I do not belong
A memory, a call,
of times lost long ago.
Of laughter that will always fall
that day not long ago.
We missed the sign
that could have changed
this rhyme to better times,
I’m not suicidal
But sometimes I wonder what would happen if I got in a car accident
If a distracted driver forgot to stop
I’m not suicidal
All it wanted to do was express itself in a way nobody had ever done before.
It wanted to be revered as the artist that would bring creativity back.
I must say, it has been a long trek
I have walked far to reach this end
I have felt the grace of a cradled neck
But it was I, the one to bend
Knife under my pillowI wanted to end it allArguments wit the famAnd it had me smaller than a ballDrama turned to painMade me inside so insaneThank you to the highestThat I made it through that rain
I was born a eagle.
A eagle who loved to fly.
I grew so strong,.
I flew so high.
I was soon forced to go to school.
This is an ode to the quiet suicide attempts; the suicide attempts that never existed to anyone else, the silent aching and scrubbing bloodstained nails with soap and raw hands and binning the evidence.
Dearest Ducha,
How many times have I tried to stand in you?
Yet, I crumbled to the floor
The comfort of the warm water
On my cracking and aching skin
As I look up the water droplets constellate
My mother died when I was eleven years old because of a combination of a chemical imbalance in her brain and harrasment from my father, so she didn't just die, she commited suicide. She didn't just commit suicide though, first she went missing.
I wish I was able to speak to you one last time.
I wish I really knew about what you were going through and could somehow change your mind.
Dear Jake or Spencer or AllyOr to someone else that wroteA poem to never be shared
Dear Death,
I can no longer ignore your blatant disregard for my feelings
Like yesterday's news, or gossip from a week ago
You are taking what is mine and I am no longer standing by
I am what people should crave
New Home,New Faces
Past and Present, blur together
Voices echo, All is the Same yet it has changed
