While everyone fell asleep

I stayed awake

Writing until my hand ached

Letting it all out

The paper can’t judge 

I wrote until my hand couldn’t hold the pen

And my breathing was hard from the tears

Then I shoved it in my desk

Hoping it wouldn’t come to someone

Having to read the words I wrote

 

The words stay there in that drawer 

For months to come

More and more paper added each night

Sometimes just a sentence

While others look like essays 

Each one different 

But all tear-stained 

And capturing the pain

 

I tried to get rid of them many times

Telling myself I was exaggerating 

But I couldn’t part

My soul was written on those scraps

And I had to keep it around just in case 

 

Just in case 

It all became too much

And I gave in 

Those letters would be there 

To show the world I tried my best to stay afloat