The Rope Around Your Neck

You said you were going for a run.
That's what you told your mom.
You were running but from yourself.
You left your son.
Did you tell him you love him?
Say your final goodbye?
Why would you leave him?
Did you think he was better off?
You went where you would be alone.
An abandoned old house, fitting.
Took the stones and tied them to the rope.
The other end around your neck.
And you turned on your music
"Whiskey lullaby"
A song to die to.
That's what you told your girlfriend.
Texted it to her a wimpy goodbye.
No last hugs or kisses.
You took that step out of the second floor window
The rope was short and you dangled there
Gasping for breath,
But this is what you wanted.
What did you think of, my once brother?
The family you were born to?
Or did you think of us?
Four years you lived with us.
We chose you and loved you.
We were like your family.
I suppose we failed
Because you still took that step?
Or did you think of the family you made?
Your girlfriend and son.
We'll never know because the pain was too great
And you left us.
You didn't see when your sister discovered the body.
She'll never forget that.
You didnt see the funeral
You didn't see my family cry.
Hearts breaking from the failure
You didnt see your mom's sobs.
As she struggled to hold herself together.
You didn't see your girlfriend, lifeless
Or your son who didn't even know what happened.
"Where's dad?" he asked his mom.
The body was unbearable.
Bluish skin and tight expression.
We buried you, each person a shovel full.
And had no choice but to say goodbye
You didn't see and I know the pain was great.
But I wish you thought. I wish I wish I wish
Things could have gotten better
But not now.
Not because of the rope around your neck.

This poem is about: 
My family
My community
Our world
Guide that inspired this poem: 

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