suicideawareness
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Where do I begin?
The end?
Well I guess I could start from the actual beginning.
Which one?
There are so many.
Sitting With You #4 She is often forgotten.Left to struggle on her own.Her cries are silent.Tears are endless.If only you could hear her.If only you could feel her.She's kind and gentle.Like a little child.She fights her way through each day.Stand
"I am lost inside a thought, wandering nowhere, Suffering being broken apart.Waiting, wishing these days gone by, I am standing at the edge of time. As the waves come crashing in. is your reasons enough?
When you want to feel, even pain eludes you.
When you want to cry, but tears fail you.
When you're all alone even when you're not.
And "you" feels like all you've got.
This one is for the girl with the semicolon tattoo.This one is for the boy who keeps his head down in the hall.This one is for the twins who everyone loved and then--Wait, what happened again?
In this collective suffering
Is where i hide my grief
I bury it alongside
The deaths of bodies
The betrayals and the loss
It is here i light candles
I was handed this object from a man I barely knew. I remember him handing it to me and telling me to keep it a secret.
When I see a city, there are people with many different stories.
There stories are powerful, and they have a purpose.
Each person in that city, may help one another.
I remember when
it used to be so hard
to stay up
past eleven,
or even midnight,
but now,
we can count ourselves lucky
if the stillness of sleep
brushes our minds
by two or three.
The face of suicide is a smile and an "I'm fine, I promise." as they load the bullets into their revolver.
The sound of suicide is a laughter, that later becomes tears and a "I hate this life so much!"
The ground splinters under her feet
The weight on her shoulders pushing her further into the ground
The ground drops from under her
Falling, her skin flakes
Flaking away with the force of the air
She falls.
Her hand reaches out
As his pulls away
Grasping air
Grasping nothing
“Don’t…”
She whispers
Desperation near
I have lost my mind, yes
I look with eyes so crazed
Disillusioned by the trees and the bees and
the misbelief that I matter.
I look with eyes so crazed;
Note: Sμ¡c1d£
For as long as I can remember
My mind was my only source of reasoning
I could always use my brain to better a situation
My brain never let me down and I honestly believed it never would
I have been hiding it for a while,
Battling, fighting to win a raging war.
I try to hide it with a smile,
This predicament I did not predict before.
You do not know what I have been through.
It's not silly to think
that everyone has had a thought
of killing themselves
for the benefit of those they care about a lot.
Or maybe not for anyone
but themselves.
Selfish you say?
Who are you to take away your life?
Your life was predesigned and destined for greatness by our savior.
The life that was given to you by the Almighty and the Omega.
Why would you want to?
you place the blades to your wrist again,
the blood begins to pool,
you think your family will never be whole
and you wittness oppression at school.
but you only want someone to see,
The thread that ties me to you
Is soaked in ether and stretches even deeper.
This thread is of the worst kind of blue,
Even though it was your favorite hue.
It's purple in the right light,
No one noticed when she started wearing long sleeves in the summer.
No one said a word when she sat quietly at her desk, wiping tears from her eyes.
No one reached out to her when she sat alone at an empty lunch table.
I love to smile, why? It lights up the room yet hides the truth. What really lies behind you ask? Deep dark lies? Swallowed by emotions, I try and hide it but I'm gasping for air. But why? Why are people so blinded?
My heart broken and never healedA foggy memory of you I wish I could killSkin like a brand new bar of milk chocolateA smile like a studYour laugh so special it brought me out of the mud
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morning on a sunday in hanalei bay
underneath the palm trees i lay
Poison
Slowly spreading through my veins
Silently killing
No one can see my pain
I have to shake it off, fight the feeling
Find the antidote
Seek my healing
I can see the end
And the story cannot be changed
No matter what I would like to pretend
This book is already written
From the first page to the last
It has planned my life unbidden
I'm just tired.
Can't you see?
This simply cannot be cured by sleep.
It's not that kind of tired.
It's a kind of tired that's quite at home in my bones.
A tired that says I'm tired of everything.
Name calling
Stupid, slut, ugly, and fat whore
How could one live in a world with these name calllings?
Could these names be true?
The blade
The sharpness seeps within my skin
There's no going back
You sit in the dark
Scared of the world
You feel like no one is there
But you are not alone
You feel worthless
Like nobody cares
Like you could disapear
And no one would know
There is silence all around
to those that never spoke up.
Their lives will always be silenced
It all closes in on me
I’m suffocating
Gasping for each breathe
I can’t fill my lungs
There’s not enough oxygen
The pressure eats at me
I’m worn down
Struggling to make ends meet
I am nothing to you
I'm sick of pretending
to be okay
sick of these lies
and hatred
everyone so cold
nothing new everything so old
and the truth be told
Im running and hiding in fear.
Everyone around me points and laughs at me.
I run to the shadows but your there.
I beg you to leave me alone but your there.
My feelings are always so gloomy and dark
I have no place on this earth nowhere to make my mark.
My feelings eat me alive my emotions ar sharks.
Im a zippo with no fluid all I do is spark.
What do I look like in a room of others thinking, thinking out of this world?
No one even notices me, I past by and I get a glance if I'm lucky
I feel gold though,
“Stranger”
She sat there in disbelief,
The things they had written were so malicious.
She read the words on the screen:
Light shady hair
That lays softly and carressing his lonely thoughts
Habits that glorfies the flaws in his stormy eyes
I miss all the memories that never happened.
I miss all the memories that made me whole.
I miss the days we sat by the lake.
I miss the days we stayed out too late.
I miss you being my shoulder to cry on.
Don't you remember when grandma took that picture
The one with our cousin steph?
Don't you remember all the good times we had
Together before you left
We are both a litte messed up, a little dead in the head. We both have messed up lives that no one seems to care about, but can we care about eachother's? I help you, and you help me.
I don't recall much since you've been gone
Everyone tells me to move on
But how cam I walking by your room
How can I forget when I sit at my desk where you told me to sit
Everyone said it would be alright
We are the forgotten,
We are the one's hidding behind our image.
We are te ones who aren't seen,
We are another number of another statistic.
We are the one's with blood stained hands and a dark mind set.
I pick up the knife
my beloved dagger dear
and wondered at the truths
it might whisper today.
But as I stare at the polished surface
my face doesn't greet me.
I turn it over and over
Just once, just once
I want to get dressed up
in a dress with short sleeves
And not feel like everyone is staring at my ugly arms.
But because of choices I made when I was
14,15,16
Life after death? Well; no.
More like death after life.
There is no shortage of strife.
It isn't exactly where I wanted to go.
I admit, I ended my life early
A goodbye unsaid, but written.
A rope tied and left to hang.
A person jumped, but never reached the ground.
We see you, the ones who think your unseen,
yes you,not just the outside you,but the inside you
the one that tries to hide,
you think we don't understand or know how you feel,
The sun was unforgiving and I wouldn't soon be forgetting
That lack luster look to his face when he talked about the human race
We're all dead he said
Society paints an image
in a young girl's head.
A contrived idea of perfection
makes her wish she were dead.
Society gives the boy false judgement,
he believes the wrong is right
He sits on his bed and stares at the wall.
“Faggot”, “Weak”, “Loser”
He’s heard it all.
No escape, no escape.
He must get out.
His eyes flitter about
And fall on the gun in his hands.
I can't remember the last time we spoke.
I didn't care to either.
All those threats my thoughts provoke.
I don't remember when we were happy.
You used play and laugh, you see.
Now you can't be with me.
STOP!
PUT THE RAZOR DOWN.
Step away from the edge, you’re about to tip over. I’m not close enough to grab your hand so listen to my voice.
Stop.
Hiding behind her own reflection
Having to deal with her satisfaction
The mirror tells no lies
And at night she'll refuse to cry
The knife will show her a new way
To express what she has to say
Social media screams the truth,
Sitting there on the screen,
Right in front of you.
Your heart slows,
But its all just a sick joke--
Right??
They say "stay strong,
keep moving on"
while I'm shuttering and cold;
and I've been growing old,
of the voices in my head.
And, I'm all alone.
"it's just a phase," they say.
The wind picks up and the horizon turns burgundy red
The people of this city scurry to their expensive cars
Racing to get home to see the kids, to finish the game, for dinner.
But what they don’t see
He is popping pills
Trying to get rid of the pain
But all people seem to realize
Is that he's an idiot and completely insane
Harassed on a daily basis
He can't seem to get off the crazy train
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But words always scar
Negligence to be the same
Falling down the road to self hate
They say, “Retarded, idiotic, queer”
Lift me up take me away
Make me feel alive
It seems like my soul is stuck in a tray
As I leave my heart to the side
waiting in the sideines
for someone to come along
doesnt have to be anyone
just dont let me be alone
cant wait any longer
for something thats not meant to be
please come for me
somebody
Change is a powerful thing
Sometimes it brings us joy
And sometimes sorrow
At times we do not see it affect us
I read somewhere that every 16 minutes
give or take a few seconds
a suicide is commited.
All you see is her smile. You don't see her mom walk through the door at 2 in the moring drunk, Yelling and breaking things all night. All you can see is her partying with her friends. You don't see her standing on the scale, crying,
Little ones sing soft and sweet
In their castles safe to dream
I once lived in a castle too
Long before I was torn from you
Father, forgive me for I have sinned
1. Scrub your skin cleanuntil the fingerprintsof mean boysare wiped clear fromyour thighs and wrists.
Filthy hands shine in the light of the beautiful pain.
Glistening in the promise sin offers to gratify the mind’s desires.
Relief from the pain in frozen blood cries out.
Trembling.
Go
I keep going.
Their words echo in my thoughts,
Screaming to me through the day
And whispering at night.
They cut scars onto me,
You can be the difference.
You can be the change.
You can be the helping hand.
You can save the day.
You can mend the heartache.
You can dry the tears.
You can be a lifeline.
Fake a smile.
They'll never see.
The pain is really inside of me.
I can't escape.
I'm so alone.
No reason for me here.
No reason to live.
Why doens't anyone do anything?
Looking in the mirror I see a girl...
I'm watching her scream
I'm rewinding her dreams
I'm watching her cry
I'm practically watching her die
I sit back and watch as she tries to wipe the tears from her eyes.
7:30, i hit the button.By 8, i'm out the house. Running late but still get coffee.Nothing's stopping me now.On the the way to class, i saw my friend.It looked like she had cried.
Everywhere I turn there are hundreds
Of dazzling smiles
So, so many are surrounding me
In a radius of miles
But not me, no. I do not smile
Because I am no one
Why would you go and kill yourself off? You're beautiful, you shouldn't get hurt,
Let alone punish yourself for the wrong doing of others. What they do should not control
When someone commits suicide,
All the secrets they tried to hide,
All the guilt they tried to subside,
All the hurt they tried to bind,
All the people that were so blind,
Hello who ever cares
Enough to read this note
I may be dead
By the time this is read
But no one really cares
I wander through life
Marked by words and scars
People get tagged with these labels,
Straight,
Bisexual,
Lesbian,
or Homosexual.
I just want people to accept me.
I play ball,
I dress different,
I'm not girly,
Put yourself in my position.Look at life, through my dead eyes.Listen, from my ears, to your own lies.You see her, don't you? A girl so broken that every Word spoken, are Cries for help…
You feel alone in the darkness that surounds you,
People look at you different because you have those permanent barclets,
You think no one understands you,
Your parents think a psychologist might help,
Rooms,
Inescapable prisons,
That present our
Feeble minds with
Conforming individuals,
Unfavorable probability,
Discomfort.
Rooms,
Incase emotions.
While hallways,
You follow coincidence down the path of least resistance
Your decisions dictated by circumstance
Your every move driven by nature and nurture
It is not too late
To live intentionally
I have a friend, the term friend used lightly, here she comes, here come depression once again, taking over what doesn’t belong to it, once again mad at the world, once again forcing a smile, once again whipping away tears, once again hurting and
The pain in life we must endure
may become too much
be we cannot lose sight
of what we once held dear
Wounds of the body can be healed
wounds of the mind can be treated
but wounds of the soul
Most people call it busy,
A constant movement,
A flutter in one direction
Get this:
You have no clue you're movin'
Caught in the crossroads
Two paths to choose
But some can't afford
Hearts’ silence.
Speak to me in whispers
I can’t... HEAR you
Scream to me introspectively
Ideological torture meets psychological abuse.
There was once a world of simplicity and tranquility
But man has robbed us of that ability
Progression is the obsession of today’s generation
When will we learn the needed forms of interrogation
He’s testing his immortality
With pain killers and a false promise
That for him, there won’t be a tomorrow.
But he is Zeus,
And he always lives to watch the sun rise,
We are a fast food generation, and in love with instant gratification, facing complete and utter annihilation, erasing the very blood line of the planet, look I get it, it’s easy to go to foreign countries to rape the world for its oil
Keep moving. They'll push you down and they'll put up a fight. Keep moving. They'll leave you broken and beaten. Keep moving. They'll laugh at your dreams and feed your fears. Keep moving. Until you find the one. Then stay.
you say you feel alone
i told you im here
you confide in me
yes,
but who says i dnt need you?
your my friend
my love
there are things you do for me
that you dont understand
We all face our own demons
We all battle it through
Why is mine still here?
Oh No...
Is this mine
My premium punishment
This is why i can’t move on
Why my hurt
Understanding that not everything is what it seems was the first step.
No one really knows what is going on inside the other person’s head; I’ve always known that
just. one. note.
Before, a proclamation.
Before, based on love. fear. a need to be accepted.
Before.
just. one. note.
After, it is tragic.
After, tears. pain. neglect.
After.
In your whispers I hear you scream.
On your cold hands I feel your heartbeat.
When you blink I see the color of your eyes,
The same jewels you stare at in the night skies.
Never knew you well enough
Made laughs, made cries, made all that stuff
She loved you, we loved you, they loved you dearly
Just to see you one last time clearly
White walls, blue desks, brown tables, tiled floors
Adorned with dark brown skin
The constant teases as if it was a sin
A Sin that my melanin was a little more defined
Funny how we forget where we come from
Funny how we never really can't
Funny how death brings sadness
Funny how life brings pain
A leaf is not really green
The sky is not really blue
I stare at your glowing face in the light of the moonI wonder where it is the person I loved has goneWhat has happened to our loveI also look into the space where your heart,the heart which beat so strong and true,
Is it really worth it?
The heartache the pain that you leave behind.
Is it really worth it?
A mother who has to bury a child, do you really want that?
Can you see what you will cause?
Have you ever fell on your bed crying?
Have you ever sat down alone begging for someone to understand?
Have you ever felt like it'd be better dying?
Don't be scared I am here to take your hand.
Heart Hammers
Blood pounds
Eyes widen
Heads swivel ‘round.
No sound resounds.
"Look, up there!"
High above the treetops
No bird; a man!
Falling with the raindrops.
It was a cold war,
not many survived.
It took many of lives,
One of them a friend of mine.
He was a brave soldier,
But even a braver man.
He took his vowels,
Can't you tell by the scars I wear? I'm slowly losing my mind tear by tear it's too much to bear! It's the perfect season to end it all right? It's the perfect time to end my life tonight?
I write to live
Writing keeps to alive
writing makes me want to stay
knowing some day
i could save a life
just by sharing mine.
writing gives me a voice.
writing gives me a choice.
If words were whips
that stung the flesh
and left the prisioner craving death
would you dare
to care
at all?
If names were knives
that scarred the face
and stung the wounds
upon my nightstand, there sits a bottle that makes her stare
Its white&red, and the light from my window makes the plastic labels glare
Depressed&Saddened , heartbreaking thoughts run rampant thru her mind
Sitting under the spray freezing water red liquid running down the drain They called me names they didn’t know what it felt like to be alone I was told it would be easy one slice down my arm maybe I’d feel queasy but not for long before I was gone
Unsurpassed, unwavering, unthinkable fear. There is no assurance of tomorrow. Any known stability, ripped from my grasp. The voices without end. There is no escape! They will be coming for me. Too late!
A hard world we live in today
It's almost like the ultimate video game
But unlike a game there is no resetting
No pausing
And definitely No extra lives
But these harsh realities are often ignored
Fear, such a small word yet it’s a huge feeling. Fear is something I am experiencing. I’m afraid to let my guard down only to be shot down again.
I see you looking down
Wearing a classic frown
I try acting like a clown;
But still your forlorn mounds
It is true silence does confound
To darkness you are bound
But I want you back!
If innocence were bottled up in human form, she would be the epistle within
Her chestnut hair glistens underneath the morning sun
Her dark eyes possess a thousand, mystifying riddles
