hopeful
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It still hurts sometimes, but I have come to peace with where me and you are,
And I guess I like the fact that me and you are sleeping under the same stars.
It’s hard to sit here and figure out what we were,
Because the past few years have kind of all turned into a blur.
I know we weren’t lovers, but I also don’t think we were just friends,
When it first happened, I thought I would never be able to make it through,
Because everything that I did reminded me of you.
And I thought that I would never be able to love again,
I have moved on, and I have worked so hard to let it all go,
But there are still some things that you don’t seem to know.
And I have all of the memories saved,
snowy hills come alivereflecting the glow from our firelightcatching the stars in the skyi hope i have a good dream tonight since it's just you and me - the two of us-we've got just one shot, so i've got to trustwe can work together, you and medon
It took me a long time to realize that not everyone in your life is going to want what is best for you,
And that sometimes the people around you are going to want to see you fail because they know they could never do what you do.
Lately it seems like I am constantly going through the same battle in my mind,
And it all comes down to whether or not I need to let you go, or hold on and still believing that one day you will be mine.
For the first time that I can recall, this is theI knew deep down in my heart that the decision that I was making was the right one,
Even though everyone was telling me that there was no hope and that I needed to be done.
The things I lost
Are vast.
Difficult to name,
Harder to think about
Without anger bubbling up the well in my chest
-
Whole years are smoke.
Memories, good and bad,
Swirling into empty space,
Accused, humiliated and chastened
Guilty of being naive, kiddish and candid
"I'm sorry ", I said.
And then
Fancied did I as well
"I'm sorry too"
From you_
Don't you think to me it was due?
Trying to do better, but keep choosing the same door.
There's nothing but pain here, guess theres a desire for more.
Words saying stay, actions pushing to go, go, go.
In the middle of the night
When the sky shines so bright
I look up at the stars
Even though it is far
Not a single sound
Walking along down that road we all know
Forever our happy place the best place to go
Friends forever I know we will be
At our second home, where we feel truly free
Floating through nothing
Colorful orbs of light
Illuminate the emptiness
Giving a sense of place
In the vastness of the void
Life for you
Life for me
Life is Love
I call for you
you don't call for me
life is Melancholy
Melancholy for you
Melancholy for me
Melancholy is Death
Sometimes I have to remind myself
Things aren't that bad
That all I am
Is a little lost
That I'll find my way
Tucked into my thoughts
Rusty hinges, a noisy gate.
Echo rattling through pure hate.
Flooded engine , well that’s great.
Cavaly arrives a bit too late.
Where it’s at and where it was .
He won’t accept that word “because.”
A delirious soul I am,
Constantly yearning for the love I can never attain,
Why must my heart ache for those who it will never reach?
Darkness darkness, I open my eyes still darkness
Voices call out all bitter "nothing! Your nothing"
I call out no awnser
Darkness steals my voice
More voices still bitter
Acceptance of pain
Once upon a time there was a sad little girlwho sat at the swings alonewaiting for someone to occupy the empty swing next to herso they'd swing togetherand she'd feel a little less lonely
The first senses of shyness
and excitement mix together in an odd
sort of cocktail
You try to hide your brewing
intrigue and curiosity that come at you
Reach the sky,
trust the sun
and crave its kindness.
Rely on the orchestra of rain
to quench your thirst.
Depend on the lavish ground
to stand tall.
When Winter dethrones warmth,
Life is lonely
estranged and grey
but he had a brilliant mind
bright enough to shower the world with stars
his jokes caused laughter
to bubble up
up
but he only felt down
Ignored red watercolor paint spilled on a glass table,
Coffee mug creating crescent and full moon sections of rubbed away,
Left on piano jazz playing through phone speakers,
with time comes responsibilty.
only those who can partake in such things such as a job are said to live happy
but does money makes us "human"
does being wealthy make us proud and lovable?
When I was young once long ago,
Threatened I was: though I didn't Know
My parents feared as to my fate
Afraid that the doctors would be too late
like the sun
and all the stars
she was bright - -
as lovely as the flowers
as beautiful as the - -
more radiant than all
as joyful and hopeful
as a wishing star
always the smartest
You’re the sweetest melody playing within. The thumpy-thump in the midst of my heart. The soothing, mellow tune lulling me to sleep While I lie quietly, still, listening in the dark.
i swear the shadows take me,
just like i swear that i am fine.
i swear that i am hopeless
but i swear that i am trying
i swear to lift my head up
when others push it down
i swear i know my place
Never let your Past catch up to yourself
No matter how much the past stabs your back
keep your head up and run with those who give you hope
We as humans are born to endure hatred and Depression
Arielle, you were light you were gone before we saw this when you left it was dark I couldn’t see who could replace such a beautiful thing nobody so it stays dark, like the darkness right after the sun sets i pretend like it’
I was a young girl
Confused with the things
I had experienced and seen
I was too curious
I tried to experience love
So imaginative
Dear Future Jeff,
I have so many questions,
Don’t know where to start.
Are we keeping it together,
Or continuing to fall apart?
Right now, I’m really excited,
Not sure what to say.
I find it
Fascinating
The tiny
Futures we
Envision
With one
Another
Despite
Knowing in
You gave birth to me in the month of October
while my father peeked over your shoulder.
You raised me with love and compassion always
and I desire to follow in your ways.
On a cool morning in June of 2004
Nothing works
words escape my mind and leave me with nothing
i can’t control it anymore
noone believes me about how far gone it is
oh no
they say to stop
and do what
nothing
You look at old pictures,
Which trigger past memories.
You recall distant friends
Turned unsuspectiny enemies.
You remember a time
When you weren't so pained,
When you could stand alone
There is a stupidity in this world.
It drifts from person to person
And it lingers in crowds.
It is subtle but so widely stretched
It encompasses the whole of humanity.
I came out to you on a school day
I gave you that final part of me
And I can hear it in your voice as you spit out your words:
"Disgusting." "Disgraceful." "Horrid."
I'm a disappointment to the family,
Self Destruction
by Nestor G. Mendoza
Looking back at my childish ways,
lord knows of my devilish days.
2016.
The year I graduated Highschool.
The year I start college.
2016 was going to be my year.
Oh how life decides to shake things up
I went to get help in the summer of sixteen
January
Another year, another promise to myself to be happy
February
The weather outside isn’t the only thing that’s cold
The sadness transformed into hatred
March
I refuse to give up this time,
The morning sun is like a coffee
Liquid light streaming from the sky
A cup of bliss for upturned faces
Receiving the golden greeting from up high.
The morning sun is like a letter
I awake to my alarm clock screaming through the darkness.
The sound pounds unforgivingly on my eardrums, and I feel tired.
There's a crime in the mind
Of a man who rhymes about the common day times
The man who spreads lies in the form of tongue tied twists
everything i write lately has been nothing but pain
but i fail to notice all the flowers
growing from the rain
i see the storm
not the cleanse
i see a new beginning
as the end
Holding you firm while opening a birthday gift
Only five years old, with
Plenty of high expectations for a firetruck. It’s
Everything that you could’ve imagined,
The wind rushed quietly as I made my way down the backroads of my small town
Picking up speed, cruising as if there was all the time in the world
The sky was a lilac blanket, quiet and still
"The girl that on one sees
A season she can't control
Pent up emotion she cannot free
This time it's taking it's toll
Down on bended knee
Not freely these tears roll
The breaking burning plea
I’m seated in a comfy chair,
he’s running his fingers through my hair,
I’m thinking aloud as I write,
Imagination ruins and creates us,
We run with the wind or get blown behind,
Letting others distort our perception of the perfect image,
Searching for the one person to the end of the world,
You be provoking this angerwhen I simply wanna smile,I know you believe that the whole world is against usand there is no justice, but maybe it’s just usI don’t know what has gotten into me
You're tired so very tired
*This poem is the first of a pair. It's partner is called "Potentially Perfect Poison.
Uncertainty used to scare me
Until you got here
Now I’m diving in
Diving deep
And I don’t care if
The deeper I go
The dark overwhelms me
Because there will always be
A tiny chance
She stands looking in the mirror
and what does she see ?
what she appears
to be
a young woman of faith
filled with promises from above
Her flaws run deep
yet she is washed clean
I ask you not to stare when I walk by,
So look into my eyes where beauty lies,
Some people’s comments make me want to cry,
JC: When darkness seems to take you on, and waters rush, and the storms brew strong:
The world is supposed to be this way.
Don’t be discouraged.
Don’t fall astray.
The weekend seemed so far away
It almost felt like the week would stay
It’s finally here,
So let’s give a cheer,
I’ll make through the academic year!
Walk by my side along this road
We’ll go over sparkling water on bridges
And underneath mountains through dark tunnels
But everywhere, it is the same – us together.
No destination set, no end in sight
A day in New YorkPracticing my favorite sportMunching on pizzaOr talking to my mother, Lisa Sitting at home on a cold autumn day,
*/
/*-->*/
I feel like I'm falling apart.
I'm breaking
Like glass, shattering on the floor.
Small Doll chips away,
Small Doll likes the fray,
Small Doll knows nothing,
But the sad decay,
Broken roads engulfed with rubble
A heart apiece, blind eyes focusing
Who can stand to face the trouble
The hearts that burn, spurned
Eager to face another day, wanting
Control.
Let it go
hold it in
Breathe
Control.
Hit a wall
Scream so loud
Breathe
Control.
Uncontrolable emotions
Cry like mad
I sing and feed my soul.
I dance and sing at my pleasure,
Turning and observing the stars in the sky.
Counting more than my seventeen years,
deep wonder fills my eyes.
When they left their toys in the yard, my mind went insane.
wouldnt your mom beat you?
and your dad...teach you a lesson?
your sister yell?
your brother get stomped on?
My emotions have change for the ever more its become so much more.
The obstacles i face that is in my way, seems not to be a problem, oh how my life has change, with you right next to me,
As I'm laying here
in my bed,
cherry blossoms bursting
in my brain,
I scratch an itch
between the blue lines.
I’m unstable
The earth shakes in me like a thousand drumbeats
Drumbeats that quiver and reverberate through my bones
The tectonics shake and the supports fall out
A down pour of tears, a heart full of fear.
Don’t let me fall for I ache of the love within.
Don’t let me fall. I’m crying out for someone to help.
Don’t let me fall. If I was to drown in the world around me,
I hold a small, pink eraser in my hand
I carefully bring the ends of the eraser toward each other
Watching the middle of it stretch
To make ends meet
A shiny lock
Numbers written around the edge in a circle
I watch as it turns
Back and forth
The numbers blend together
Amd I get confused and lost
No longer sure how to unlock it
The best poem ever written, had its audience so smitten. It captivated thinkers. Sobered up those lousy drinkers. It rose up to the occasion, moved people with persuasion. It fought those moral battles, no more difficult equations.
Living life in blissHappy to live like thisNothing taken for grantedI've got everything I've ever wanted
All everybody wants it to be happy,
But how could they strive for such thing when
Happiness is the epitome of elusiveness?
Then again, some people are more hopeful than others.
Should I hold it all in...or should I cry it all out?
But I don't want to disappoint them,
I don't want to be given the doubt.
They think I'm strong.
They think I can do better.
But how can I?
If I found a way heaven
Would you follow close behind
Would you never turn back to face
A world we left behind
What if it was a mistake
Would you hate me 'till the end
Anger is pointless
Anger can thrill
Anger is useless
Anger can kill
Anger is consuming
Consuming like hate
Consuming your soul
Consuming your fate
Stay calm and breathe
it's true, I say
that the pain stays inside
that we don't know where to hide
but why? you ask
because we're broken
because we're lost
because we are alone
On her birthday a small girl gets
A tiny blank book with flowered cover
And starts to write lyrics to her regrets.
A medium girl rediscovers
A composition book with slight blue lines
I pray that love sets me free and though im blinded by hate, love overcomes me.
I pray that one day I learn to live so that I wont be afraid to die and that there remains many reasons in this world for which I will never have to cry.
Maybe I'll start today or tonite
Maybe I'll think on a daily
Maybe I'll give him what he wants
Maybe she'll recognize me
Maybe this will be the last time I feel pain
Maybe I can do this!
One day: I will wake up in the best mood.
I will go through the day without a single bad thought.
I will put on a smile that is absolutely genuine.
I will be satisfied with how I look.
I believe that you're special.
I believe that when you hear my voice you smile.
I believe that your heart skips when you see me.
I believe you love me.
I believe that you know you were wrong.
Dark Whisperer,
Dark Whisperer, hush up
For I am terrified
I can no longer endure
Yet another night
Of the taunting, and the pain
No longer can I stifle you
And it's driving me insane.
Because bad things happen
And then life gets hard
Hope is lost along the way
But you must hold on
Because giving up is not an option
And failure means defeat
I wonder what its like
to be happy
to be someone who isn't me
to be normal
to not have these thoughts
to be able to just "fit in"
just one of those people who's there
who every one likes
I need closure
I need to know
why
why you said those words
how they tasted when they left your lips
little did you know their outcome
you cant tell someone "go die" and expect them to be okay after that
I dream a dream so dear and ture.
but to see you be in such a mood,
make my dream come fade.
I want to see you dream A dream I do.
but in these darkened halls,
I see and hear no dream.
Don’t Give Up On Me
Don’t give up on me
I’ll lend a hand and meet you halfway
We will stand by each other’s side day by day
Hold you close and hold you near; please never be afraid to whisper to me your biggest fear
Skipping rocks on a still pond
not knowing the depths or how long
as it breaks the cool surface
it sinks into a rink of uncertain
getting knocked down
wave after wave
Take off your glasses
Before another second passes
Exchange them for rose colored lens
The world proably bends
from negativey to creativy
I bet you gained a different perspective
One mind
Incapable of Change
Like a paper airplane
making the same folds
since you've been this old
Unable to watch it sore
From the fears it'll crash into the floor.
You make it seem so sure
Born looking “white”
Grew up looking “bright”
Born to be a gift
Grew up on feelings I could not lift
Born to be beautiful
Grew up to be judgmental
A girl pictures herself as someone other than her.
A girl who has everything that anyone would be envious of.
She feels as though there is no hope for her.
I was cute when I was four till I was abandon and forgotten
now theirs hate, mistreating and rejection started to become common
I hate when people ask about my parent's its to awkward
Going to class shoelaces untied and I don’t mind,
Got my head down, headphones in, walking a straight line,
Keep moving forward without a doubt leave the past behind,
So, they say that words have power
that we create matter,
but all of my words
haven't felt like they have power.
I hear them laugh and joke and play.
I see their smiles as clear as day.
They’re talking to their "BFFs".
While they dance and sing, I’m by myself.
You see darkness in my eyes
The pain in the tears that I cry
You used to hold my hand
But that has come to an end
All that I ask is that you don't judge me in the end.
Ladies and Gentlemen...
We are gathered here today to celebrate something wonderful.
A life.
