Hopeful

Trying to do better, but keep choosing the same door.
There's nothing but pain here, guess theres a desire for more.
Words saying stay, actions pushing to go, go, go.
Screaming no trust has been earned, but fail to be trustworthy though. Every decision followed by questions, doubts, and insinuations of wrong doing only causing confusion & confidence to be destroyed.
These burdens carry so much weight, shoulders now bruised & sore.
Heart broken into pieces, scattered about on the floor.
Played this game and lost time and time before.
Always end up dismissed, discarded like a forgotten broken toy.
Showing love & kindness is exhausting & strained to the point of being a chore.
Too many elephants in this room, but too big and pink to be ignored.
Alone, yet its crowded in here, time to head towards the door.
No laughter, no smiles, feelings & needs ignored.
Words cut like knives sharper than samari swords.
Bleeding the blood or relationship discord.
Tired of walking on eggshells, help Lord!
Doing things out of spite, then justifying it by using the blame card. What lesson is meant to be learned moving forward?
How can this get back on the right accord?
Which direction should be moved towards?
Keep holding on, getting drug, or cut the cord?
How much more can this love afford? So many questions, but no answers of any sort.
The devil is busy, the enemy has shaken the foundation of this fort. Trying not to run, which is the last resort, but the first retort.
What sense does it make to stay where you're not valued or desired anymore?
Staying says its tolerated and accepted, so leave the complaining at the door.
I'm still here, obviously I want more. Looking & feeling dumb, yet staying hopeful for this love to be restored.

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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