Dating Abuse
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I Can’t Breathe (Without You)
I can’t breathe then I feel you around me
I can’t breathe then I feel you around
I can’t breathe then I feel you
I put the bottles to my lips hoping to drown myself from the sadness.
Never realizing how toxic these bottles really are for me.
Drowning myself from the toxicity of you.
The scars he left behind the first second he hurt you are there.
The scars he left behind with every word, hit, and emotions are there.
I wish someone told me that heartbreak isn’t easy to get through.
I wish someone told me that everything in your life leads up to something.
I’m a fighter, not a lover.
Love is unknown, because all I ever known was violence.
I lost love and he rests, six feet under.
For lack of better words
You instill and distill my love
Like alcohol in a glass.
Bitter and dangerous,
But still on these streets.
You use me like a drunk
And I’ve got no choice.
I like to make connections Creating connections is funBut creating connections creates a contagion -of comparible compatible connections Concise connections, carefully crafted containing continuity
Four months ago
From the beginning you were mine
I was yours
It was perfect
We were perfect
You were perfect
I keep my heart locked up in a box
Guarded by a dextrous black fox
But with a glance from you the fox was slain
My heart thrown into a hurricane
Round and round it tumbled and swept
Dear Beautiful:
From then until now
Your scars still show
Your tears are dried
and when people speak
it hurts.
Dear Beautiful:
You think you are so unnatractive
I want to grown in a family home
With a full living space
In a kid friendly neighbor
Where the saying love the’ neighbor
Is possible
I want to be surround by nature
And watch seasons change
Dear Past Me,
I know its so hard to let go.
The world isn't against you like you always thought it was.
The world is just the world.
And You are just you.
Be.
Be awake every morning.
Today in the car he told me how easy it is to kill yourself.
I wrote it down thinking it would create some meaningful piece of poetry,
You taught me to fear
You taught me to worry
You taught me fake love
You taught me to drink away the pain
You taught me I was ugly and worthless
“No one loves you like I do”
The words that once seemed lovely
Burrow into the crevices of my mind
Right next to “you’re not good enough” and “you’ll never achieve anything”
“No one loves you like I do”
The day that I met you,
We were stuck like hot glue.
Because you were all I could cling to
When everything inside me felt dark blue.
The way you wanted me,
I always strived to achieve.
My loneliness paraded within, while their
white lies and excuses stacked as high as their ego.
“I don’t have time.”
Because I love you don’t talk to them
I don’t want you taken away from me
What are you hiding on your phone?
Love is kind but also cruel
Everyone said don't fall for it ....don't
But she still looked at him as a hidden jewel
Someone she could mend on her own
Written October 22, 2017
Although your chest kisses mine
And our thighs are intertwined,
I can feel it spewing from your lips.
THIS IS
what they speak of
Because I love you...
I will do anything for you
even if that means sacrificing myself to save you
I will trust you
with passwords, and passcodes to anything you ask about
I will travel
I do this for you
Not because I want to,
just for you.
I've left everyone behind,
I've turned on my friends,
said goodbye to my family.
I did all of this for you,
and what did you do for me?
“I do it because I love you,”
He will say when he goes through your things.
“It’s not because I don’t trust you,”
He will tell you, but he enjoys the fights that his actions bring.
I question your motives
Your craves
And your views.
I cy for your sad songs
Sweet voice
Winding Blues.
I wake up each morning
With exhaust and
No charge.
I will soon fall in love
Then she came home.
She came home, she saw the bruises on my arms.
She came home and cayght every flinch, every inflection of my voice.
Every time I apologized, she caught it.
"Because I love you"
Doesn't mean it's okay
For me to do as you say.
The phrase "because I love you"
Should only be used to express
An act of love, of gratitude; it must not be used as a screw.
That's so stupidYou're the most beautiful woman in the world I love you most. And thrashing and hatingAnd loving and hating I'm just so tired of thisWell, maybe just one more chance And knowing and "forgetting" And soaring and hell And I love yo
Yeah, I guess I'm a disappointmentDoing everything I can, I don't wanna make you disappointedIt's annoyingI just wanna make you feel like everything I ever did wasn't ever tryna make an issue for youBut I guess the more youThought about everything
Because I Love You
By: Miranda York
Everyone always wants to know why.
Why does he hurt me?
Why does she leave me?
They don't understand like you do.
Because I love you I hold your hand.
Because I love you I kiss your face.
Because I love you I'd travel across the land
Just to be within your space.
But those things aren't all what loves about
Gather round boys and girls it’s storytime and I have a tale to tell. Once upon a time there was a girl. This girl did not know love, she didn’t know how to smile, she thought of laughter as a folktale and pain a reality.
You said you would take what you wanted,
And you did
You reached your hand inside of me
And clawed at my being,
i never wanted to admit this to myself.
i never wanted it to be true.
i feigned ignorance,
hoping that maybe if i pretended
it wasn't happening,
it wouldn't happen.
but it did.
Insecurity (“”)
Why aren’t you happier to see me
Why don’t you look nicer when we go out
Why do you always have to be so smart. . . or clueless. . . or dumb
January, February were the months of good packing snow,
packing snow on my crippled carcass
in cumbersome coats.
I lay there and let your bitter cover me.
Love is like on coming traffic, you have no control over it. You don't know what is going to happen next or how it will impact you.
He hurt me.
I have lost count of things broken and blood spilled.
1,5,20 to many punches to the gut and kicks to the shin.
Remeber how you burned my skin?
You’re not a poet
And for that I’m glad
But still your words drip like honey
Your lie sings like a promise
And like a musician
He made everything better
I don’t know how he did it and I don’t think he did either
He could help me through anything
He is but a Rose, the undefinable beauty, an incomprehensible nature
She grasps him like a child, but she bleeds.
She wants to admire the beauty, his features as intricate as petals
I haven’t been to that building in 6 years.
I used to not be able to drive by it.
I think about that night a lot. And tell myself that it doesn’t matter because nothing actually happened.
It still matters.
If you loved him,Those words wouldn't roll off your tongue like a ball down the alley.
Kiss my hand before you break my fingers,
The stinging pain will always linger.
Light fingertips stroke my cheek before you leave a bruise,
Without an option, there is no way I may refuse.
My mind is not my own.
I gave it away piece by piece -
tied it up in a ribbon with bits of my beating heart
and put it at the feet of a girl whose love was a pair
of spiked cleats.
It was a sunny day,
when she told me the ugly truth,
she said she was done,
she didn't love me no more,
and if I'm being honest I never did.
She told me it was raining,
I didn't believe her,
The precious face
Doused in make up and covered by black locks 36 years in the making
Your internal wounds are not so easily hidden
His words have never even made you smitten
Oh what have you done?
I was strong.
I was stronger than you ever wanted me to be.
I was strong in the face of your words, your actions, your “love”.
You called me weak.
I wake up in the middle of the night, my eyes low, my breath shallow and sharp.
I lay down in the middle of the day, tears stinging my eyes, bleeding arms and hips.
i was that girl who had no hope
who was a prisoner in my own mind
trapped by saddening thoughts
swallowed by inner insecurities
poisoned by nefarious demons
How could you forget last time?
Remember the pain?
The manipulation?
You were pulled in every way.
(But look at that smile!)
Yes, very nice,
but the last time you saw a smile like that
Love can make us do stupid crazy things,
Things that never in a million years you thought would do.
Things you regret doing.
However, at the time it does not occur to us how our actions ruins us on the inside
The cheating hurt, but besides that so did the lies and the punches.
Im glad its over, I took a stand and I left.
Im glad you know that you hurt me.
My tears weren't just the sadness you gave me.
Lost in another compilation of complications.
A group of her friends worsened the situation.
I can't take this nonsense anymore I'm walking out the door.
I'm not leaving you but I'm leaving this relationship.
SLAP!
I didn't mean to upset you I'm sorry
I don't know why I always have to ask so many questions.
SHOVE!
Down the stairs I'm falling
at first glance my heart wanted tp dance dance when i see you you light up my face i never want to leave you i want yoou fiorever in my life
My dreams have become a reality.
A reality I don't wish to feel.
Because these dreams once of pleasure,
Have become nightmares all too real.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Yes, I still care
But, what’s it to you?
You showed no respect,
No emotion at all.
So why did I stay
When you put up a wall?
In the mirror, I look up and stare at my reflection,
Oh, man, I saw this coming. What a recollection.
My makeup all smudged, all damp and out of line,
Huh, it matched the line I tried to draw when you were mine.
I do.
I hesitate as the words cross my lips
The days of love are bright,
But only at first.
The colors become dull.
The Abuse becomes normal.
The Cries become endless songs.
Is this really love
This nagging in the back of my head
It screams out at me like a vulcher
Watching the already presumed dead
This breathlessness in the middle of the night
All those books had me so mislead
I'm in love
She said
The first day she met Bryan
I'm in love
She believed
As she showed me
The dozens of roses
I'm in love
Do you even realize how much you hurt me?
How much damage you have caused?
And you have the audacity to come back
After two whole years of torment
Do you see my tears?
No.
I am your toy. I am your "woman".
Do you hear my screams?
No.
I say "I love you" only because it means you will stop for a minute.
Do you feel my pain?
Yes.
Glares full of hatred and hormones
Rooms full of screams and loud moans
Mouths full of insults and "I love you"'s
He's gonna kiss you then shove you
And tell you he never wanted you
The insults he spits at me stab my chest
It feels almost as good as when he grabs my breast so, I egg him on
It isn’t long until his hands are around my arms, my eyes wide and my breath caught
DIG ME OUT OF THIS FUCKING GRAVE!Stop burying me in past memories,Forgotten conversations,Guilty Temptations,The unending persuasionsTo take you back-
NO!
She cares, even if she shouldn't.
She loved, even when she promised she wouldn't.
She let him go, even when her heart couldn't.
He promised her his heart for ever.
Would he walk away, he swore....never.
Our first evening in London he
Keeps his arm around my waist and I
Laugh at everything
He kisses me in the door of the flat
And doesn’t kiss me again until we wake up
Oh, LordWhat have I done?I've ruined everythingJust because I can't say "no"Or control my paranoia or my frustration
We started out on cloud ninewe never imagined being apartwe were forever, we were together.We had it all planned out, right down to the day we said I Do. But then the hate startedthe stressreality had settled in and it was trying to tear us apart
Silence stretches
Between you and iIts painfully quietThe music turned on highTo drown outThe painful truth
You don't know me yet, but I know you,And I understand how you feel. We want the same thing. You feel like you can't find the right one,When in retrospect, the right one is me.
Girl: my mind is purple confusion/deslusion. How was this only yesterday/yesterday’s game
and now I’m looking at British boys of your same name.
Put on the makeup. Dry your tears. Smile for the camera. Don't ever tell anyone. Everyone already knows. He hit you again last night. He'll hit you again tonight, like every night before, and every night to come. Leave him you tell yourself.
What am I to you?
Don't I cry and hurt like you?
Don't I feel like you?
Aren't I someone who aspires?
Or
Am I just what you own?
Am I what you disregard?
You wake up and realize it's not okay.
What happened was not okay.
I was lucky,
she wasn't.
To the strong that are still here,
being and all,
teach us how to appreciate.
Her concrete coffin is now cold wall to wall
All of these neon rainbows hold no glow at all
That little angel is on a midnight ride
She is tough on the surface, but trembling inside
The boys tell her to look alive
"Just hanging out with a friend, Honey”
he said, with his back turned to us as he spoke lovingly
to his wife
who sat miles away, on that set of islands we call our Motherland,
on the other end of the phone line.
What is love?
Love is the way,
that he got me high,
and layed me down to breathe
together.
Love is the way that
he yelled,
he screamed,
he tore holes in walls
and psyches.
I was a seed begging for attention, desperate to bloom
One day I would be a flower!
I grew into a bud envious of others who had already bloomed
One day I would be lovely!
When I blossomed I was a beautiful rose
Can you not see that we are both the same?
Having you became my chaotic drive
Like demons that were not meant to be tame
Hugging your leg with your knife in my side
Desiring your heart would never end
losing myself in the eye of darkness the ear that yearns to speak but says nothing......
just because the mouth is in charge of voice
the eyes can't see the waves of sound caught in the angle of sorrow.....
I Love You
The most special words a guy could have said
We'll live happily ever after, like those fairytales I've read
Kiss me softly, whisper sweet nothings in my ear
Heart breaks hurt
When the person thinks it funny what he did
It makes it even worse
It’s like why say all of this to me and treat me like this
My heart might break from things sometime.
But eventually it gets put back together
Sometimes things get put back together with help.
You tell me to accept.
Accept it’s never you, it’s always me;
Except, I’m never-well, you’re always right.
Accept I’m bad, there’s something wrong with me;
Except, it’s not my-well, I guess you’re right.
No eyes doubt your mirrors, broken by beauty.
The cracks run red, perhaps from the lipstick you used to cover your bruised lip.
You wish to leave the lipstick off along with everything else adding to your disguise,
It was a real love story,
Like the ones you see in the movies.
She had every reason to believe it would
Last. Or at least she thought she did...
See she was the desperate type,
Your thoughts come as no surprise
I'm tired of your many lies
Stop beating me, I'll stop beating you
It's a truce
Remember who I am
Young and restless
Caged and Depressed
Never size me up
Eyes hold the truth
Black, blue, or green
No matter the color
They can still be seen
I look into his eyes
And I see the truth
The truth he tried to hide
But it made its way through
