Bittersweet
You said you would take what you wanted,
And you did
You reached your hand inside of me
And clawed at my being,
Violated my soul
Your tongue stretched down my throat
Choked me
And still I could breathe
Though I did not want to
You took my hand in yours
Said you would lead me to magical places
But squeezed so tight
I was lifeless by the time
You got me where you wanted
You took fistfuls of my hair
Called me whore
And still I heard love
Still I followed you blindly
And gave my consent
And I cannot call it rape
When it was at first what I wanted
But when I pushed
And pulled
And still you would not leave
You became predator
Rather than lover
And I the hunted
Rather than desired
And for months after
It seemed that every time
Your tongue left my mouth
Long enough for me
To catch my breath
You came back
As if you did not want me to forget
What abuse tasted like
But still then I thought love
As if love can consist of nothing more
Than force
And tears
And blood
It took a long while to get rid of you
A million no’s
A thousand go away’s
Until finally you left
Though still sometimes i can taste you
Betrayal and lies and hurt
In other people
Where I should taste
Love.
m.h.champion