pressure
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Hey dad they say you love me they say you care
But hey dad why do i have to call
And hey dad am i gonna see you next fall
Your name never shows up on my phone
I’m so tired of being scared to ask questions.
I’m so tired of trying to be perfect all the time.
I’m so tired of trying to take everyone’s suggestions.
I’m so tired of being told I’m ‘Fine’.
My parentsMake neat assignments for meSet alarms for every periodGive me designated eating timesSleeping timesBreathing timesOrganize color coded schedulesWith prim and properDigital lines
I wonder if you're ashamed of a life almost wasted.
Strung up and hung up on the drinks you never tasted.
Wondering if all the eyes looking at you even care.
Do they even know if there's a soul left in there?
" The Pressure... The PRESSURE ... !!! "
Ya Know I'm Like … " V For Vendetta " ...
When It Comes To … " The Pressure " ... !!!
PRESSURES That Surround When You're On SHAKY Ground ... !!!
How Tough Has Life Become These Days ... ?!?
Violence REIGNS With PAIN And STRIFE ... !!!
You NEED To Be TOUGH To Just SURVIVE ... !!!!!
Prices ... riSE ... !!!!!
That's No Surprise And Is NO LIE ... !!!
My Works ... Poli - TRICKING ... !!!!!
They're Tactics Are SICKENING ... !!!
They're Using Their Power ...
To Make People ... "cower" ... !!!
It's ALL ABOUT This ...
The Usual OLD Tricks ...
The mourning sun: Helios
I bloom—vivid and bold.
Set in your sky,
I burn gold.
From my light—
A sacred gift—
What a child
He knows how to play
He speaks in silence
Holds his tongue
His eyes read worlds of wonder
He's feeling the pressure to
if i was her boyfriend
i’d invite her to stay
the night at my house
if she likes, she would say
“yes!”, we’d grab snacks
i would nervously rest
my head on her shoulder
o why did I wear a dress?
Too much on your plate?
How did this happen?
Can’t you give it back?
That was a bit careless
Next time turn your back
Can’t you delegate?
Do you overcommit?
Adulthood daunting, calling, taunting.Empty applications haunting.Heartbeat thudding in my chest,Through one more standardized test.
fighting writhing agony with
screaming voices in my head and
on and on throughout my day for
evermore they say that I can’t
measure up, and till i drop i’ll
Everytime I'm pushed around like a Ragdoll,
You're addicted ,for you it's alcohol.
Everytime it's you,only you .
Who determines what I should do !
Why can't I just be me and you be you ?
Perfect.
A level of expectation that I’ve come to strive for
despite the pain it causes.
It has grown to become a relief
to see a 100% atop my paper,
Growing up through life,
The pressure to find a job is high.
It feels like a cut from a knife
When you don’t know where to spend the rest of your time.
When the leaves turned golden and shone like no other time of the year, and the wind swirled with passion was when I was born. It was a cold morning my mother says.
Stale makeup and
Rotting laughter
Broken race cars that couldn’t go any faster.
Fermenting anger and
Broken smiles
How far can we go
Looking perfect all the while.
I hesitate.
Replaying your comment in my head.
Say something.
Say anything.
Speak up.
Speak OUT.
But enough though I want to,
I don't say anything.
I don't.
Chalk dust
Flakes from my fingers to my eyes,
As I rub the to-dos into lashes
And stare at the checkboxes for yesterday
How hard can it be?
To get up and face the world
and swim against the current
while a storm begins to brew.
To swim throught the swirling media
bombarded by infromation at all time,
he said she said,
Dear Fear,
Crippled you have made me past,
and dawned with dread
in every other thought.
Like that which called me, plead
to be a draught
that I could drink and find no rest.
We look to find just who we are inside
Forever looking to find where we fit
Having constant fear of being denied
In the process some people just lose it
Everywhere we attempt to interact
We hold our Hope so close inside,
Laugh with those who us deride,
Our true person untouchable,
While evils only scratch outside.
A blended mix of Pride and Fear
How could she not understand
The pain she is causing her children
She believes that my father will take all of us
And he isn't holding us captive its our choice
Dear Future,
My kidnapper, you sicken me!
Hiding me in a room called my conscious.
All I see is darkness.
All I’ve ever seen is darkness.
I feel alone in this loud room
chaos is all around me
and it will drag me to my doom
I just want to be free
they are so so happy, smiling
while I lay there dying
I've given up on it all
I want to walk upon the waters, but it seems so inviting.
I may just tumble down to the depths and feel my last breath.
I want to lay on the ocean floor.
I want to watch as my last breath rises to the surface without me.
We think we are invincible, trusting our bodies to extreme levels
Holding our drinks to be downed before daylight while sucking out the moisture from our skins
in the cold, damp moonlight
Growing up is hard,
and even harder when you are an aspriring bard.
Life moves on, even if you can't.
Please catch me if I rant,
but I don't want to disappoint anyone.
The pressure, it weighs a million tons,
The future follows behind me with a stern look and a jagged plea
As competition constantly stares back at me.
In the past year I battled the fists of friend crusades
Because of the stabs of pending test grades.
Mom lights a candle
A diya, a lamp
I have to choose
Red or blue
Voices of reason
Larger, louder
Elated and euphoric as I read 23/25 at the top of the page
YES YES YES
Worthy and filled with pride
Momentarily
The shortlived victory is overshadowed by the BURN that fuels and torments
Looking in the distance
Towards the judgemental figures
Hiding in the crowd from their cruel jokes
Eyes like fire burning your skin from your bone
I heard the reflection of an iceberg is you when you renew your vision
Tell me how to get clarity with my wrong decisions
I guess my heart is a toy, did i fail to mention
Touch the paper with a pencil
Shouting thoughts come alive
My mind is leaking ideas
The words explode on paper
Eventually coming together
To create a world of mine
Thinking becomes out of control
Dear Future Lover,
I want a love letter
One that tells me I’m beautiful
How my smile illuminates a room
And how my body sets the mood
Saying my lazy eye is exotic looking
Sitting at a family brunch
Trying to escape the grooling questions.
How are you getting ready for the ACT?
What were your scores for the PSAT?
I hate how nothing good ever matters to people, never counts. You’re a straight A student, but have a D in one class: that’s what colleges will ponder on.
Oh when the lights shut off And it's my turn To settle down My main concern Promise that you will sing about me Promise that you will sing about me I said when the lights shut off And it's my turn to settle down My main concern Promise that y
As a little kid, I was told I must be the best
Be a golden star because I was always meant to shine
I got the good grades, participated in sports, did the extracurricular activities
Certain things in particular
Put the food down,
Girls look better thin.
Don't frown,
Smiles always win.
Don't cry,
People will think you're insane.
Look away from football,
Let boys enjoy their game.
I think there are people who are normal people, those who go to work, go to school, and go about their day like a normal person.
Then there are those who are wolves in sheep's clothing.
The pressure
The anxiety
Creeping up on you
Breathing down your neck
Scholarships
Student Debt
What do I look forward to?
Meals at the caf
Sleeping in the library
Finals
On a painfully thin edge,
and trying desperately not to fall.
Constantly swaying, constantly breaking, and rebuilding, and reconvincing that just jumping isn’t the right thing.
I tried to fall in love,
and love fell away from me.
Music tastes and edited imagery
can’t disguise the doubts of the reality
that you are not good or true
for who I am trying to be,
“Pass the test”
“Come on, be the best”
Self-worth on a piece of paper
A guaranteed confidence caper
We blame the students, not the system
Building up an anxiety kingdom
Even the greatest-
scientists, engineers, painters, astronauts,
walk across crowded streets,
surrounded by everyday people
with everyday troubles,
suffocating on the smoke
of their own personal
"Truly I should be working, no?"
Whispered the little student
"Surly this is what’s right"
She fretted in her mind
"But why should I do it?
Why? oh why? oh why?
Why is it such a stress?
I am a failure. I am a failure at being honest. I am a failure at being punctual. I am a failure for being jealous. I am a failure for being greedy. I am a failure at drinking too much. I am a failure for sleeping with too many people.
Another year
I go to school.
Another year
I see my friends.
Another year
I lose sleep.
Another year
I am educated.
Another year
I am anxious.
Another year
You know that feeling?
It's funny and dishonest,
And you should be able to laugh at it.
But it creeps up on you with taunts of isolation,
Suffocating
Closing in
Til she feels like she can’t breathe.
Each gasp a plea for sanity, each tear a cry for help
She prays for release
As teenagers we believe it’s our obligation,
To lose ourselves in dedication
For a person who is still growing up, just like us
And we call this “Love”.
I have a big Green house on a hill and it’s
Giant and clean
And full of space and I
Can’t wait
To get it filled up with things that
Portray my
New life with my husband.
Water rushes in,
Cracks form
Glass breaks at the drop of a pin
Will you ever be warm?
It is falling apart.
Everything crumbling like a cookie in a two-year olds hand.
Water rushes in,
Cracks form
Glass breaks at the drop of a pin
Will you ever be warm?
It is falling apart.
Everything crumbling like a cookie in a two-year olds hand.
Apparently, the only socially acceptable answer to the question "are you okay?", nowadays, is: "I'm fine". Even if you're not fine at all.
People often realize
they can endure more
than they thought they could
when enduring becomes the only option.
But sometimes-
when people can't endure-
they break.
break a little,
GoPro cameras and Selfie Sticks, our ancestors would be horrified.
But it doesn’t matter because fabricated images, and fraudulent stories are glorified.
What’s wrong with putting your best self out there?
Who am I?
I don't know.
What am I?
I don't know.
How old am I?
I don't know.
When will I die?
I know,
I will die today,
For my mother is giving me away.
High school junior and the pressure is all here
Where the adults tell you whether or not
Your future is clear
And all the numbers you've feared
For so many years
If life easy was not hard
then attempting is not available
If half of me is going insane
And point five has a vision blurred
You must be crazy two
Thoughts of suicide are not scary
I could wipe off 90% of that so called beauty with a kleenex...
I see that your outershell is gorgeous
Underneath that.. It's pure ugly
No.
Not your face.
Your insides. Your guts. your soul.
Who is to blame when I feel this sinking tugging pressure is it me or is it her or him or all of them or this whole world that centers on grades and looks and Internet?
The perception starts young
Color inside the lines!
She loves to hear,
What a good girl
Effort turns to numbers
Letters worth a grade
She keeps them all A’s
What a good girl
I'm custom-built to expectationA situational chameleonBut no one knows,Because what they see is only what I show them
Whoa buddy
Slow down
Take the Turtle Road.
But no,
I have so many places to go.
Let me hop on the freeway
Breeze on through
Ignore the distractions
Keep your eyes on the road.
Like the continuously ticking clock, all day and all year
The constant pressure on your chest
You are filled with the paranoia and thought of having no control
It is the feeling of drowning in the open mouth of the river
They cannot see what they do;The seperation, the argument and closed-minded confrontation, damaged by selfishness of view and heart.I break chisel against the walls in their minds.
Stop pressuring me
Stop telling me I better hurry
Stop forcing me into a corner
Stop making me choose
Stop making me prepare
Stop making me grow up
“Why? It’s too much.”
Why ask me again? I already told you.
Red skinned, sweet sweat lines our noses
My ankle propped on yours,
Eyes quizzing the other’s.
We don’t have the money.
“But why?”
The hours run into days
The days drone into years.
When will I finish this endless race?
"You are going to succeed and do great"
"We all have such high expectations"
My family brims with pride.
We all have choices in life
At our own free will we make our decisions
In order to better ourselves and our lives
I have choices
But I do not make the decisions
What do you look like? Where are you?
How do I know it's you? Did I do it right?
When do I show you off? Who do I show you off to?
* Rriiiing * *Rriiiing*
I'm serious this time.
*Rriiiing* No False alarm. I'm really going to fucking - Answer Goddamit !
I get used to the feelingBut some people don'tThey get what they want so easilyAnd experience no bumpsI knew I wouldn't get itI still know why I tried
When the house shakes, the walls crumble. Then the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I'm surrounded by water. I can't see. I can't breathe. I can't think. Further, and further I sink.
My future depends on
How alluring I am
As a combination
Of a few words and numbers
You would think your words are enough to communicate
Electric flow through those lines should be of high rate
I am afraid, no terrified, of being a disappointment.
My mother never fails to remind me that I have so much talent,
that I have everything going for me.
I know she brags about me now.
You couldn't achieve your dreams now you wanna live through me. Looking for my lost thoughts with wall in front of me. How can I achieve when you don't believe in me? It isn't my fault your dreams didn't soar like the trees.
The building blocks you put down stack so high that they touch the sky
The skyscrapers you make are so tall they remind me that I'm so small
And I admire your optimism
We wonder, we ponder how tragedy must feel
Is it like burning or a pure sensation
With every waking moment you feel broken and helpless
As you weep in sorrow you think of all the good times and laughter
Angels have dropped out of the sky
Leaving black plumes in their wake
The feathers from their wings
Have left tears on the faces of those who loved them
And lost them.
I exist, I’m alive,
My heart beats,
Thump Thump Thump,
But my arms, legs, neck,
Stiff.
My body’s moving,
But I’m not moving it.
My lung goes,
In, out, in, out,
I’m breathing,
I walk among a crowd,
All moving in one direction.
To the right, to the right, to the right,
They chanted.
Suddenly I saw a person stopped walking,
So I stopped and thought for a second.
I lay upon a rubbery bed,
My mind fuzzy with lethargy,
And ponder what was in my head,
When I had decided not to sleep,
And that's when they dragged her in,
It's all about the money,
It's all about the popularity.
I don't think I fit in with it.
Don't want to be a part of it.
I tried I couldn't handle it,
I took my pride and I ran with it.
I am tired of this façade
Men shouldn't have to treat the opposite sex with disrespect in order to retain their masculinity.
Girls shouldn't feel the need to starve themselves for beauty and serenity.
Life is a gift,
Or so they say.
Babies are born
And everyone is happy.
But why are they happy
When life is unfair?
Why do we wish this unfair life
Unto innocent babes.
My mind has seasons of its own.....crashes by stainless pressure
critical remarks of laughter that i dont find amusing
Math taught me that I am not smart enough
And that my brain is filled with useless fluff
Science taught me that my atoms are wasted
On a kid that will live in his parents basement
Today we sit and wait for directions
Struggling with all these questions
That come in and out of or minds on the daily
But Parents and teachers all say “Ya’ll are crazy”
As I sit in class thinking about my future
What have I got?
A complex mind that wishes not to be
Against myself I have fought
It's simply something I cannot forsee
But all you've got
Is a basic desire
To become one in the lot
5'8
107 Pounds
23" waist
Yes I'm SKINNY
Does my outer appearance bother you?
I'm happy with my body rather you like it or not.
All you are worried about is TITS and ASS.
“This child is really special,” they said,
And I feared. For what if they were wrong?
But I smiled politely and got lost in my head.
I was given the test and immediately felt dread.
candidacy-competition-trial-
its all pointless if you choke-
if you forget what to say -
eveything you spent the past three stuyding for-
not to mention all the pressure thats pinned on this-
A dreamer with no dream
"reach for the stars"
what if you have no star?
no latitude or longitude to shoot for
head in hand I think
I think of twenty-fifteen,
I think of twenty-thirty,
She watches that video
Her eyes light up
This is what she wants to be
The old me was never good enough
She thinks to herself she is tired
She is tired of the lonely, the cold, the sad
I'm back, but I'm falling apart
I'm back, but I'm lacking the heart,
That I need to keep movingAnd what do I think I'm proving? Starving for attentionReceiving it in the form of tension,
Trying to get ahold of my books and
Failing.
Scattered papers
Stretched binds of books
Scraped binders.
Exposing my strengths and weaknesses.
Scrambling.
Everywhere I look,
Time is passing by.
I wish I could fly away,
From all of it.
Pressure all around me,
But does anyone really see,
That I'm screaming on the inside?
I’m not quite sure if I still have lungs
I feel like I’m respirating
I still smell
I still feel my chest expand and deflate
I’m still alive
But I don’t feel like I’m breathing
Be yourself
they said.
But don't do this
And you can't do that.
Don't change for others
they said.
It's only a phase
they said.
You're doiing itfor attention.
It was another bad nightAnother resort to my pad nightI can’t even write, I’m so tired…But it’s the only way I can nod outIt’s like a high to me.
Everyone seems to have all these high expectations for me,
for I am a preacher's daughter,
I am a "smart" person,
I am innocent.
No one expects me to slip up.
I am not allowed to get a bad grade,
My will is fleeting
My love is fleeting
My strength can only fill a bottle cap.
Pain is I
As I am death
No near death
In death.
I'm too young for this
Too old for this
I wear a size seven,
you want me to be a three.
Forget what you say.
This is real, this is me.
I wear a size large,
you want me to be a small.
You think 5'1" is too short,
When I was in middle school
I was such a fool
Hanging around with my pals
Acting so very “cool.”
But I’m in high school now
I’ll make it through somehow...
Oh for heaven’s sake
Here's a problem to solve:
You're given a set of numbers and rules,
Expected to manufacture meaning from it all.
Deliberating decisions isn't always a choice,
College this, college that,I'm too tired to fight back.
When this ends and I graduate,I won't be the top but I won't be late.
I can't stand the thrum of them
constantly flash flooding the room again
with the sound of their dissappointments in the young generation
we are meant to simply fix the world with their inspiration
The students
Walk down the hallway
And toss the
Vagrant's gold
On the ground
Meanwhile
The man leans
On his broom
And eyes humanity
With a sordid look
You just need to last until the break
cramming for your GPA's sake
You twitch and you cringe and you tweak
and crack and you break and you freak
You learn for the moment, not for retention
You think it's our choice
That we're the ones that chose this
But it's the pressure
You need the challenge
You must take honors classes
You are too lazy
Sometimes I don't know
Stretched into a pirouette Porcelain arms above her head Pristine balance and tight bunned hair A trickle of salt water dread The lace toe shoe grips the edge Atop the orange lip of God Sprawling below is dark abyss She could fall with just a prod
Light.
Now it's dark.
Knife.
In my heart.
Fight.
In my head.
Cry.
In my bed.
Shadows.
Closer.
Getting.
Older.
Falling.
Crawling.
Game.
Pressure
Ten thousands tons on my back
Can’t stand all that weight im toeing around
Ask me to step up my game
but I mature a little late so it’s not happening now
"Are you happy?" my therapist asks me.
"I do not know." I reply.
Because in the midst of all the partying and hanging with my friends,
I still feel alone.
Its that drip of sweat that's stuck on his neck
slowly making its way down to the bed
My head lays calmly relaxed
But my mind is in a wind and a fuss
Am I doing enough?
Should I touch?
Stuck in this room like it's a jail.Trapped like prisoners
My hands are tied grasping the rail.
We aren't petitioners.
"Sometimes I always ask myself why.Was it after all worth it?
Junior year and so much pressure for a test,
"You HAVE to do good!" "You have to be the best!"
But for what? It's just a stupid sheet of paper
That's supposed to tell where I will be later.
A dream is supposed to be love and keen
but a dream deferred can prevent even the craziest dream
Will you let color, age or sex defer your dream?
or will you trust, believe, love and achieve,
Why?
Why am I afraid to speak?
Why am I afraid to prove I've excelled,
Out of misguided fear that I'll appear single-celled?
Success is what happens when you reach your peak,
Kids are steadily drooping out of school
Selling drug, hang in gangs becuase they think it's kind of cool
The list of the problems that are wrong with America
Will have these kids rolling off into hysteria
The only thing
People ever seem to
Talk to me about
Is college.
Where do you want to go?
What do you want to major in?
Why am I not considered to be a good studentor even a good person anymorewhen I receive a "B"or "C"or "D"or God forbidan "F"?
Can one attain the ability to
Invoke happiness onto
Himself or herself
Would denial have to tie into
This indefinable equation
Although to each his own
But what is its definition
Throughout ancient time
human kind
has been confine
to the design
of someone else's mind
but im finally here
establishing my identity
my humanity
I am he
I am I
I am me
What stops us from going after our dreams, desires, and hopes?
Is it the fear of disapproval, judgment, or fearing that you yourself are wrong?
Why is it that we live our lives in fear?
You are the moon and I am the sea,
Your constant changing faces,
Are always changing me,
When you show your full face,
A glass ballerina
Sits on the ground. Her
Arms form a loop
Above her head. Her face
Is raised towards the sky,
Watching the world above.
Light sparkles off her
Transparent body and creates
Normal,You're normal,You're just like all the restA number stamped across the pageA statistic on a testThe SAT's just like a treeThey said climb and do your bestBut little did those people know
Stressed.
It is my consistent mental state
Since there's always so much on my plate.
I feel the consistent pressure to be at my best.
Expectations.
Everyone's are so high
What is beauty?
Well if I were to give the simplest definition I’d say you.
What is beauty?
To fall and crash, to climb back up
Is what my sister did.
All throughout her high school years,
She was a faulty kid.
To sneak and lie and just mess up
Was her kind of thing.
I watch her closely--
As her smile broadens,
Her dark curls caress her blushing cheeks
And her eyes carefully roam beds of flowers.
She reaches down,
Plucks a handful of daisies,
"Be perfect and proper!"
"Be quiet and calm!"
"Always stay in order!"
-That's the idea put in my palm.
"Why are you so loud?"
"Be more like the crew!"
-Forcing me to not be proud
Win, win, win, all the time, Never mediocre, that won’t do.
Be the best, if you’re not, then try harder.
Perfection is a choke hold,
The world I live in is changing I can see that
It’s like we pulled terror right out of a hat
Our government is now more corrupt more than ever
Promising us that it’ll all get better and being all clever.
I walk, I sit my, back against this grain
These words speaking bliss, penetrating every inkling of thought that is bound in my brain
As the climatical moment fills my soul, I come upon recollection
Chaos reaking havoc in my brain
up is down and all confusion
feelings that i cant explain
Poetry is my escape my treasure
words exploding tumbling out
turning chaos into second nature
(poems go here) Life’s bumpy roads and harsh realities
Are what brought me to the refuge of poetry.
A world where you have little money,
Where the lady on the news talks about a new murder every night
Staring at the television
Staring at the magazine
Self esteem going down
Now I have to lose five more pounds
The definition of beauty has changed once more
She drifted slowly to sleep,
opening her eyes for only the slightest moments,
trying to keep herself awake,
commanding her eyes to cease their throbbing…
but they wouldn’t listen,
she had no authority…
What is race?
Does it tell us what to like?
Does it determine our future actions?
Or is it simply just something that pigeonholes us to carry the weight of the actions of our ancestors?
In this life we are all led by love; love from your parents and from their parents above. In this life we are all given some type of chance to revel in pomp or overcome circumstance. But in this life I do declare, many things are simply unfair.
My first day of School!
I write because Mommy said so.
My teacher is beautiful; I really hope she likes me.
I write because my cursive needs practice.
I need an A in English for my allowance.
Fall to the floor on my knees metaphorically
I might disrespect someone
But
I ask this rhetorically:
What can you do
when you realize you need help
because you’re too weak to do anything yourself?
You think I'm scared of sounding stupid.
You tell me it's all right, that I'm "mysterious,"
That you se the cracks of sunshine bursting through my mask and you want to smash it and set me free.
the gulf is opened
waves rough and obnoxious
filled with the hopes and the dreams
and the crushed desires
morose days
depressed nights
things that just don’t go the way
you would expect
Judgmental comments float about
As abundant as the air we breathe
Criticism being thrown at us by society
The pressure of being beautiful, intelligent, flawless
Who has the right to define these words?
There once was a puppet.
That lived her life on a strange stage.
Few could see her strings,
The puppet seemed so very real.
My dad lifts my new electric blue Schwinn Mountain Bike onto his shoulders
and hauls it into the garage. He takes a wrench and adjusts the pipes
with the precision of a poet, pulling them to fit my height. I stretch
We feel the golden rays of sun beating down on our faces,
As we look towards our leader while our own heart races.
Our feet hit the ground at the sound of the beat,
Arms, legs, and backs ache from the feel of the heat.
Take a step back and let those strings unwind,
The corrupted skylights hang over head,
Crunching noises heard as they grind,
As if it were to be the soft pillow of a bed.
Has he even noticed? Or does he even care?
This car is turning, racing but we're going nowhere.
He steps on the gas, my heart begins to flutter.
We're free falling fast, but without God's ruder.
Under Pressure.
Listen to Bowie:
Fill my ears with the sound of his sweet fears.
Under Pressure.
I used to be so carefree
A beautiful
Sun-child
Of the Earth.
But now I don’t recognize me.
