Hey dad they say you love me they say you care

But hey dad why do i have to call

And hey dad am i gonna see you next fall

Your name never shows up on my phone

Your 5 minutes away but wont answer my ringtone

I saw you for christmas will i see you for my 17th birthday

Or is that too much to ask from me to you 

I see you twice a year

I shouldn't be filled with so much fear

I have anxiety, depression, I say I have no reason but i do because of you

You didn’t leave and that's the problem

Your a few miles away, but i haven't seen you since my birthday

So Hey dad do you love me

Hey dad do you care 

Cause i know life ain’t fair

But you don’t call, so why should I

You put my mind through hell, 

When i'm with you you only yell,

When i was 13 i was forced to text you,

Cause my mom knew you wouldn’t reach out,

When i was 15 I watched you miss all my games,

I’m 16 and dad, i can’t even call you that

 

Dear Society

When did it become acceptable for a Dad to leave, A mom to drink 

when did it become acceptable for parents to split for kids to be deceived 

when did this world become a place where without pity you are nothing without a sob story you're strange, abnormal

Where I'm not heard If I don't have something in my past that caused me pain or problems 

Where agreement is the only stable foundation

Conversations are lost, Civility gone

All You do, Society, is argue, You claim progress but won’t compromise

You claim understanding, but won’t accept opinion

Yet the youth are supposed to be trusted with this future you’ve broken

You expect them to fix you, Society

Its toxic, and intoxicating,

You cheated and you lied, you gave false hope of equality, but only equality for the camera light,

You broke my heart, and this thing we have will only lead to what you deemed acceptable,

I won't let the the future we created be hurt because you can’t handle commitment 

So dear society this isn’t a letter of complaint

This is a letter of change

Im sorry society but we are over, cause this relationship leads to ruin,

With you, like this, there's no fixing anytime soon.

 

My Bestfriend, I write to you hoping to find you well

I've been struggling, and you are the only one i can tell

Don't get me wrong life isn't that bad

I've got you, a mom ,and a loving step dad

But it's all too much what they expect, me perfect, no defects 

I can’t go anywhere, can't do anything, if it isn’t just right

Every mistake is watched, no misstep forgotten

It's not there fault, it's all mine,

I can't let them down, can I?

All my mind can think is what they lost,

I can have a future but at what cost,

My Mind is complete chaos 

It's my thoughts, not their words 

All I can think is what if this fight in my mind wasn't worth my time 

My dear best friend you're my only reinforcement 

I'm telling you the walls are falling down and my defenses are gone 

What if this battle wasn't worth anything because I'm looking at you

And whether I win or lose is it just the same end? 

I built a city surrounded by stone, I've been Broke to many times 

But I let you in so please save me now because these walls are meant to keep everything out I'm secluded hidden from the world and their thoughts

Trying to keep the emotions subsided but I think it's time for the stones to fall 

I think it's time for me to give up this battle

because I don't think it was worth fighting at all 

this isn't a battle the decides my legacy 

it just decides if I'm going to trust you if I'm going to trust me if I'm going to trust anyone 

when it comes to struggles, this conspiracy,

So my friend, I hope that I find you well because you saved me before I completely fell into the darkness, to the pain, to the struggle, to every thought that I couldn't contain

you saved me and this is the only time I can let you know. 

 

Dear Self it's not your fault you love too much

it's not your fault he left

You gave him everything he needed, everything he wanted

Yet he thought there was more

When you said he was your world

He didn’t even see you in his

While she was getting in his car

You were waiting for his call

People keep saying how great y'all were

But he's kissing her not you

Choosing her when he told you forever and infinity

What people said, didn’t show what he did

Hearts still next to his name in your phone

Yet his is silenced while his heart is on loan.

Then again I guess his heart was never mine in the first place

Cause if he can be with her, and say I love you to me

then dear self he's in the wrong, and you didn’t want him anyway

He says maybe it's just not the right time

I say For what? For us, for you to stay loyal? For you to actually care?

Dear self forget him, screw him, move on

Your friends are right he's not worth your tears

I know loneliness is facing your biggest fears,

But it's not your fault you love too much

It's his for not loving you enough