A level of expectation that I’ve come to strive for
despite the pain it causes.
It has grown to become a relief
to see a 100% atop my paper,
written in glistening blue ink.
No longer pride, but relief.
Being granted the temporary luxury of breathing,
before the game begins again.
I’ve become afraid to be less than perfect.
that a monster dwells inside me.
The monster eats away at me,
leaving nothing but an empty shell
Only to be briefly satisfied by a perfect score.