She watches that video
Her eyes light up
This is what she wants to be
The old me was never good enough
She thinks to herself she is tired
She is tired of the lonely, the cold, the sad
Her mind reminds her daily of what her heart fights to forget
She ponders and ponders personal hate
Then back
Smack
She is back into the video
She watches that girl and wants to be her
She idolized this curved, mysterious lady
Yet they have never met
A self hate that cuts so deep
Bleeding irreversibly