disappointment
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And just like that, I found myself in the same situation once again,
Torn between cutting you out of my life, or keeping you around as just a friend.
You can't tell me that you didn't think of me the same way,
For so long, I kept trying to defend you,
And I would always try to justify the things that you would do.
Even though I knew it was true, I would always try to deny it,
I have comes to terms with the reality that is me and you,
And I know that reaching out is something that you are never going to do.
As much as I hate to admit it, I know that part of is done,
COULDA FIGURED; SHOULDA KNOWN
By Debi Lyn Tu 09/27/22 ~ 9:30 am
Coulda figured this day
might just go this way.
Shoulda known twas likely
tis simply how it would be.
Sometimes it's hard to admit it, but sometimes you need to accept defeat,
And that the future that you thought you were heading towards ends up not being so sweet.
Sometimes it's hard to admit it, but sometimes you need to accept defeat,
And that the future that you thought you were heading towards ends up not being so sweet.
When you leave me, I feel my throat close
my air leaves my lungs and they colaps
I feel suffocation creeping in
it hurts, it hurts
how could you make me feel this way?
When I lose, I can't breathe
picking ripe plump figseach one marred by pecking holes~ pleasantly plump birds......Mark Toney © 2021.8/29/2021 - Poetry form: Haiku (for you)
Some Think That I'm... " BRAVE "... !!!
To Say The Things I Say About The Ways We Are... "ENSLAVED"...
By Those Who LIVE By Getting Rich...
OFF People Who SLAVE EVERY SINGLE DAY... !!!
I have grown and bloomed,
but my color is wasted.
Unnoticed.
Unwanted.
Untouched.
I gathered my spirit
and threw it atop yours
in hopes that you would yield to comfort
When hopes start to disappoint you
Dejection drains the power out of you
Motivation dies deep inside the soul
When criticism shows up to console
Sometimes I need space
The invisible leash tugs on my neck
I feel like I’m suffocating, breaking
I’m breaking under the weight of expectations
What’s it to you friend
If I had known you when
we made some mistakes time and time again
So let me tell you what; let me implore you the lesson
“When I am older, I want to be a doctor.”
Was said by many aspiring children.
“When I am older, I will be just like you.”
I want to be just like them.
I jump up from the bed with this one thought upon my mind
"I'm hungry"! So I run straight to the fridge to make a find
The remnants of a snack from late last night are in the sink
Your eyebrows pinch together
when you're angry.
I always ask: "Are you angry?"
And you say no.
You always say no.
Maybe, instead, you're frustrated
because you always dream too big.
I can't help but wonder of your thoughts
since you've journeyed so far.
Has it changed you; are you slow to anger,
slow to find fault? Judge with a softer heart?
I'm curious the things you've learned,
When I was a kidI always had this weird obsession with band-aidsThey're as close as I could get to the stickersMy parents wouldn't buy me
Hi,
remember me?
We met this summer,
during the heat.
VBS,
Fallen trees.
Multimedia was for me.
We talked a lot,
you're my past bully's brother.
I thought you were real,
I need a job
I need a life
I need you
Far from perfect we are born
With some of us feeling more privileged than others
The one commonality we share is disappointment
I thought you’d smell like butterflies-
like the tip of a lollipop-stained tongue,
baby’s breath and bleached teeth-
so I inhaled you like a pixie stick
and
You'll have to forgive me for being stoic.
But things won't work out, and I know it.
When you offered me the trip of dreams,
When my success you're quick to deem
Imminent and sure,
Dear Sam,
Sometimes I'm not sure if I miss you or the way you made me feel.
Sometimes I'm not sure if I can live another second without feeling the way you made me feel.
Sometimes I'm not sure how you really made me feel.
Empty Pages
Writer’s block is
like thinking you’ve met a man
you could give your all to
at the stage of his life when his ego is inflated like the dollar
Such phantoms
Accompany no one else
Such time is spent
In no other hell
The only light is a tiny spark
Behold; a writer in the dark
Trapped and wrought
In a cave so lonely
You were a fucked up kid, so was I
Because of you
No problem; mom she did everything she could
You should've used a condom
But no; I'm blessed and love the people in my life
You can't screw up that too
Dear Sister,
I would ask how you are
But I can guess from your pattern
It’ll be the same as always
You’re never satisfied
Even though opportunities are there.
I’m graduating soon
I am not what I am meant to be
I’m aware
Yes, I know- A girl’s nails are meant
To be colorful and sleek
Not bitten down by anxiety and picked half to death
“Can I have my idiot back?”
The smell of stale beer,
The stink of stupidity;
They assault me.
“Can I have my idiot back?”
The owner looks at me,
Gestures to him,
Forgets me.
I wish to ask the gushing stream
Why fade thin into a foggy one
And vanish like a twilight dream
In the umbra of the sparkling sun
Brother: Sister
was i never enough?
to keep you smiling
when things got tough?
Mother:Father
was i never enough?
no not good enough.
to feel you love
Disappointment after disappointment.
Don't put your trust or hopes in any person, don't place your self-constructed expectations on anyone,
Or else disappointment, sadness, and hopelessness is all you will feel.
My vision goes hazy My mind a little crazy suffocating, palpating my heart is tighter than my fist clenched, back drenched in sweat
All hopes go into a smooth grasp life's circumstances in ones dominant handMy semesters days lead to a three digit goalA gut twistingHand shakingStomach punching stiff grasp crumble corners
i breathe.
my throat is tight from
too much singing and
the anxiety that follows
my audition
-the look in my teacher's eyes
is not responsive when
the last note resonates
There once was a man named Dave
Yet drastically different from Goliath unscathed.
In dissapointement he was submerged
But as fear drew nearer he found courage.
Within his headphones, music provided escape.
Let me tell you where I'm at
Here at night supposedly alone,
Listening to songs that make me feel whole.
However there is Disappointment,
Self hate and his sister Anxiety,
All of them sleeping over.
Wrinkled edges and dog-eared pages,
Smudges from the swift stroke of a careless hand ―
Crispy remnants of a poem spaghetti-stained
It's what some may see inme
What my mom sees in me everyday.
today was a Senior Awards Night and scholarships were awarded.
I didn't recieve any cognition or outstading scholarships,
I am cold, stubborn, and reckless.
I am sad, skinny, and wild.
I am timid, honest, and loud.
I am forgetful, ignorant, and tired.
I have failed at being a daughter.
My lips smile,
even as my soul-dipped
eyes frown
in the midst
of the silence
in your eyes,
or is it indifference
at the nagging
of your conscience,
a tugging of spirit
Anxiety.
One of the many things,
That can drive me insane.
Consistently waiting for something,
Or in my case,
Someone.
Where is the ability to smile?
Wondering the earth forever,
Kissing the soil that brings life.
Who can bring me happiness?
Holding on until it hurts,
closing my eyes to rest,
How could he?
This man who promised her everything, said he loved her, made a vow.
This man who was protected by her, shielded from horrors that he couldn’t handle on his own.
Late at night
sipping coffee
bleary -eyed.
Can't take anymore
of these endless searches.
My computer screen
it dances
it blurs
as I blink.
My life.
.
pain, tears, and suffering
disappointment in yourself
and others’ disappointment in you
anger, hurt, and screaming
Words coming down,
Hurtful and unnoticeable.
Pang settles in the heart,
Uncomfortable and unbearable.
Next comes the tears,
Wanting to wipe away,
Yet with pride in the way,
I am a bird meant for flight,Beautiful plumage and a mind to the right.I am fed lies of fame and money,I am the bird of milk and honey.I want to act and I want to sing,But maybe "lawyering" is your thing.
I want for you to tell Christ
That his quick glass is almost up
And the moon’s light
Shall gleam (shine) on all of the four corners
Residing idly in the room
Where the devious shadows lay
Defining me as a whole-
As I stand here before you,
Waiting for the sorrow to empty my soul.
You see me as more than I am,
And you look down upon my efforts,
Defining me as a whole.
It is the highest expectations that have the furthest to fall,
I sit here,
thinking of the future
remembering the past
and longing for the passion of the present
I sit here,
unamused, broken down, and confused
Through binoculars
I watch waves of emotion smash against the beach:
Relentless tides against the sand.
I watch, removed, from my paddleboat on the ocean.
I’m the only one out here.
I guess I was wrong about you,
I'm sorry I wasted your time.
Kill my hope, my heart, my dreams, my soul, and mind.
It's time for you to destroy me,
What's left of me anyways.
How do I explain?
How would YOU explain?
When he doesn't show up, when he's always late.
How do you explain to her, she's not even 8....
Here's How:
When she's jumping up and down cause she can't wait
Don’t ask for Notes
Because your life
Is worth so much
More than that.
Instead, say to
Yourself
‘If the Sun rises this
Morning I will
Life is payday.
You have fifty dollars in your pocket
along with the daydreams of what you might buy
roses for your future lover
the promise of opportunity.
Life is tax day.
You are too late
I am sorry
Didn't make it
Not good enough
Wrong
No
Fail
You know these words, yet you hate to hear them
With Aspergers, it's a bit tough.
There's problems that make you think you've had enough.
From the loud noise to lighting so bright,
When you can't handle it all, you are forced to fight.
It's been ages.
Ages since I've written anything down.
Since I've allowed verses to be thought.
It's been forever since choppy sentences unvailed my inner emotions.
So here it goes.
If you were a kind of bread, you’d be sourdough(or that gross sort of organic wheat withall the chunks in it that everyone eatsbecause they think it’s good for them and
A letter to my mother
My mother hates me and I don’t know why
We just can’t seem to see eye to eye
She disrespects me to the ump degree
Now I’m going to tell you what’s in my decree
Growing up, I was never the favorite.
The didn't-matter-never-did-get-your-grades-up.
My mom was a nurse, my dad a PhD.
My stepmom's doing her diss and I know she's going to make it.
From grass to grace just failed.
oh! Ain't no grace in what i face.
I Traveled overseas to see a change.
I guess now i know what they meant when they said
There sat a boy in class with me,
with red Beats that hung around his neck,
he'd never take notes in class,
By: Darlyn C. Lojero
one minute, you are looking up at the sky
admiring those tiny specks you called distant fire
another minute, and you see none
I stand upon the dais,
A pedestal of upright intentions, paving a highway to the sweltering lake, set-ablaze.
I bare flesh to be branded, and awaits, a dossier,
Dear my love, whose name is unknown
I’ve encrypted my unspoken words onto this heart of stone
Each waking hour, each restless night, every passing moment all a paradigm
Waves crash against the shore,
A storm is on its way.
I cling to my desk in a bitter hope
That it will all pass over me.
But as they walk by,
Their lightning strikes—
Cold, hard stares
Day dreaming
Imangining what my future holds
will I be an uneducated kid
from the deep Delta South
stuggling trying to find the easy way out.
I hope not.
People dwell on the manner of how
I just keep falling back into the same things
Over and over again
I make the same mistakes
Why?
Same heartstrings pulled every time
Why do I fall in love so easily?
I'm done
I don't really care anymore
I'm tired of this shit
Disappointed, again
I'm done
It's a sad, sad world
Filled with too many disappointments
And I'm so tired of it
So damn tired
And as if crying about it helped
It just makes me hate myself even more
There are many times where a parent can screw up
But there are also chances for them to make it right.
The disappointment builds like change in a cup
I wish I could forgive her with all my mite
I thought you put the best in me,But you really just tested me.
I thought you wanted us,Instead I want to cuss.
I thought you really wanted me,But I guess you just want to be free.
"You cant change who you've become"
This phrase doesn't apply to you literarlly but figurativley its who you've made your self known to others
That DOESN'T mean you cant change yourself for the better...or for the worst
Help me believe that youre the right man for my heart..help believe that you can stand to be the mother of my future childrens...
Because I could not stop for Disappointment
He stop for me
He came knocking on my door
And hit me hard on the face
As soon as I opened the door
I saw him taking me away
I can't believe I was so blind,
To see the mistakes I made,
To see all the chances I could have taken,
To see all the things that went wrong,
To see all the things I could have prevented.
You walk in the room
My hands begin to shake
You look at me
My heart pounds
I can feel it fighting to jump through my skin
You begin to speak
You were the only girl who I've ever truly wanted.
The only girl who my heart have never fronted.
Only girl I've relentlessly pursued..
Might sound like a fool, but somedays you was the reason I came to school.
Stop trying so hard
And just relax
Take each day slowly
And give love back
Life is short
And terribly long
Painfully bitter
Yet a beautiful song
I forgot
Those times I sat on my bed and cried, And sobbed my losses after all I tried
And you sat by my side and held me tight
You spoke comforting words to make things right.
So you ask me why I write...
You want to know why I do what I do?
So here, how about I give you a clue,
I am an emotional volcanoe just waiting to erupt,
but not in the way you may think, I don't live to dectruct
I am the girl your mother warned you about -
that when you're done with the easy lays
in beds that never get used to your shape -
You'll look up from your third drink
and see me standing there, patient,
I yell at you day after day, begging you to take this pain away. I ask you why you have allowed such things to happen to me but all I get in reply is an empty silence and my own sigh. I have been good I say, so why do this to me?
Life is so predictable and disappointing. At first its perfect and you experience love for the first time. You engage in that perfect first kiss with the boy you've always dreamed of dating.
you left us treading for life at a crucial time
assuming our emminate doom.
you still walked away
You were always too much to fit intomy dollhouse dreams.I never asked for you to leaveyour shoes at the door,they didn’t seem right there
What is pain?
What are tears?
When you have a million questions with no fears.
Born to this world
Without a trace.
Left in the dark, left to defend.
And, you start so low.
But, come up so high.
Have you even wondered where hope goes to die
Have you spent your whole life just wanting to cry
What does it mean to you when things shatter
A million of pieces left for you to gather
"You're stupid."
"You're unworthy."
"You're a disappointment."
I would hear time and time again.
I hear them carousel through my mind.
No one ever told me I was stupid or unworthy,
I hear the Angel's thunderous cries
Commanding you to stop.
The largest of the troupe comes near
And kneels before your face;
Eye to eye
Bodies so close.
You ache to reach out and touch
I carry weight.
I carry small things and big things.
I hold the tangible and intangible.
I carry what is critical, and I also carry utter bullshit.
Resembles a singing sun, is the heart’s first hope-
Does it enlighten, does it not shine?
As sweet as a mocking bird, is this new found spirit-
Does it enlarge, does it not fly?
As blue as the ice is the first strike-
Black is the color of a heart so cold
that will someday stop and turn into mold.
It is the color of sweat on a killer's face,
the disappointment and anger of losing a race.
Black is the color of a death too soon,
Mad at myself
For letting it end
Countless months, hours, and days
Spent with my thoughts in a never ending haze
Lonely Child
A cast-off Loner,
A battle-weary Child
—whose cries become quieter and quieter
After realizing no one hears.
