Midlife Meltdown

Sat, 10/15/2016 - 10:45 -- js.jase

My vision goes hazy
My mind a little crazy
suffocating, palpating
my heart is tighter than my fist clenched,
back drenched in sweat
Drunk on disappointment
And broken promises to myself
Help I can't walk straight, cause all I see is what I want and all I'll never be
if I can become something
my goals unachieved
My time is short
and I've ignored that fact that life is slipping from my hands
but I've got plans I say to myself
and my loved ones,
Never won but they cheer me on
when I haven't moved
I want to prove that I can do what I say and make
what I mean a reality for the three waiting on me and myself
trash in the sink
socks on the sofa
empty packages
wasted resources
shelves full of hopeful pages
unbroken spines don't impact
wisps of commitments
Lost to figments of hot breath distant
staring out the window
Head in hands
eyelids burdened from sleep never known,
Regret reeks rancid in this radical frame of mind
For reference check this list
but nothing new
all undone
never but once maybe
Have I shown and did what I say
while I'm outlived by the sun
who makes lights of every day

This poem is about: 
My family

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