Grow Up Scholarship Slam
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Small town
Same plains everyday
Simple, quiet
Did what I was told
No questions
Only had tunnel vision comprehension
Hearing them shame her, had nothing to do with me.
They weren't my friends and I said nothing so she couldn't blame me.
As they laughed, I saw tears in her eyes and fear on her face
When I was young I learned to apologize
Little did I know, it would be my demise
I started out using it for when I had done wrong
Then "I'm sorry" began flowing like a song
Whenever conflict seemed to come my way
I knew it was coming some time close to now
but I didn't have a single clue how
Not even an estimation of time was given
because adulthood isn't something you can immediately step foot in
I used to get so mad at you
It was easy to be sad and blame it on you
How could I even talk to anyone? No one understood
But I guess it was always a long shot that any one could.
Alcohol to some seemed to cool
A year and a half ago
This was when I realized I was an adult
I was constantly surrounded by older people
The ones I would call the real adults
When I was waking up at ungodly hours
Before Dawn
I’m just trying to find my new normal
Looking back at the photographs of my past twenty-one years
It’s hard to look at my childhood self
Even though I have changed for the better
I miss the old me
The air holds on to my last breath,
in the building of change,
love,
hate.
the steps towards adulthood,
drifting closer and closer,
The rumble we felt was our own, not caused by rough pavement. As the car slowed, so did my mother's ability to think. There was only one answer, I knew, yet it did not come to her. We were stranded, and she panicked. What was to be done except cal
Their once naive euphoria
Prompted from accompanying their mom to the store
Or exploring the unexplored
Is now crushed as “autumn” approaches
Now the world has lost its mortala...
A troubled sigh
From dehydrated lips.
A squint from drooping eyes.
A shaky hand with bitten nails,
wiping a frowning brow.
Seven years old;
It’s that age where
We’re seemingly uncontrolled.
Where something unfair
Is a travesty, where being bold
if there’s a record for crying
my mom’s coming to take it
because my dad wants love
and what he has with my mother ain’t itthis is the man i looked up to
Who am I?
My childhood has passed by
College in two years what, how did I get here?
Did I disappear?
I still feel like I’m twelve years old
Highschool.
Freshman year.
Fresh new year.
Wasted time.
Fooled around.
Came sophomore year,
and with it came
Academic Awards Day.
Made First Honors,
90 and above,
A friend, a sister, a part of me
I loved you so dearly, but you left me
You became obsessed with the image of an aider
Rather than aiding yourself
Life may be easy,
Life may be hard,
And you'll always wonder,
How it ever came to be.
Life may take them away,
Life may make you astray,
And you'll always wonder,
Why it ever came to be.
First breath
First word
A baby's firsts
Sights to behold
Seconds and thirds and each instance beyond
Lead to new firsts as time goes on
First day of school
First new friend
As a child, I was told many things from my parents, teachers, and even television
I was told how one must act, dress, work, and even think
When I was young I slept on concrete ground
Due to the house holding 4 adults and 7 kids
Now I pursue never too
Youger me wanted to be like my father
But as I aged his life style became a bother
Sparkling, room for any shape.Held aloft, transparent and hiding nothingAt heights it seldom viewed, higher would it be. Not yet.Too far from any sight too cramped for any plant.
"What happens when you die?"
Most people feel too awkward to reply
But I like to ask it to peel back layers
Small talk is for uninterested fakers
Some say reincarnation
The ever-present emptiness I hadn't realized was there,
Only showing in times I was surrounded by my peers.
Being a child, naivety is an inherent trait,
Granting bliss and numbing over pain that should be rampant.
Parents always tell their kids to never trust strangers
Why though?? They are people just like me
Imagine you are young again.
Innocent and free of responsibility.
Not a care in the world, except of what’s gonna’ be on TV.
Your excitement when staying up past bedtime.
The clock is ticking,
Echoing, both fast and slow.
Each tick adding palpable nerves to the room.
Suffocated by the smell of soap and bleach,
I twiddle my fingers, scratch my neck, bite my lip, and wait.
The day I could walk into a room,
Without fear of the walls caving in
And people’s stern glances
it became clear to me
That’s I was growing,
Feelings. Happy, or confused?
Both but neither.
Growing pains, rolling around in bed, unable to fall asleep.
Sitting against our coffee table
I let out a sigh
I'll never understand what my mom see's in this movie
The movie is near ending
I'm near rejoicing
Yet somehow my mom is crying
Time pasts
It was in my first month of being twenty years old that I watched The Little Prince for the first time
I never knew what it meant to worry for my heart until I finished the movie
As you mixed tomatoes in the rice
You gave the rulebook for adolescence
I spat in your face and larked unincited
As you mixed tomatoes in the rice
You gave the rulebook for adolescence
I spat in your face and larked unincited
A Sleepover Invitation
Where we planned to stay up all night
But the air was cold so we got in bed
Being an adult is not being 18,
We are still one with no responsibility,
Until you have a house, a car, a phone,
One you must pay for on your own,
You are dependent upon another,
When did I realize I was not a kid anymore?
It wasn’t when I stopped begging my mom for candy at the store.
Not when I stopped looking forward to watching a Saturday morning cartoon.
Disney movies teach us to be kind and love others.
Give your heart to those who need it.
Make others happy, it will make you happy.
But when is it too much?
Here are my toys. Play with them as much as you want.
i crack my back when sitting
i slouch my back when standing
but, i won’t bend my back to heed to you and your arrogance when i am being me.
I exist everywhere,
I am everything
I am no longer watching my surroundings.
I touch my skin and feel the brownie look of it,
The roots that travel along my epidermis
I am alone
Yet I don’t feel it
I am told every day I am lonely
That I must be sad
Yet I feel fine
If I was alone
Wouldn’t I feel sad
If I was alone
Wouldn’t I cry for something to fill it
On to the next place
she was on to the next mistake
another man who promised her the world.
As her dreams came crashing to a halt did she wonder what would become of me?
Once upon a time, I became me.
Little to big, I grew like a tree.
It was a good time, being so small,
One day, I hoped to be tall.
Trees were my muse,
Growing up was never hard,
It was always easy; at least for me it was.
I didn’t come from a hood, not a city and no barrio.
I came from a home where love was always shown,
It took a while. Until I could look up at the sky and instead of hiding myself out loud, start living for the sun behind the clouds. Start looking for those lemonade skies and imagine flying by.
A separated pictureA depressed fatherA confused motherAn unphased older brotherAn innocent little brotherAnd me, trying to hold everyone togetherFighting the words and paperwork while holding back tears
elementary
wen i grow up i want to sav the world
recess *bell rings*
we r going to be best friends
i dont want dad to hurt mommy
middle school
They dnt understand
My life isn't normal
I never knew I could love someone who had so many demons in his past life.
I told myself I would find a man that had no damagning baggage,
a man that could never describe to me what an inside of a jail cell looked like,
Everyone told me to work hard.
So I did. The past blended into the present into the future.
It was once rough to the touch, like a potato sack.
Now it's faded, a green-gray expanse of old sunbeams and bitter stains.
Things seem to go very fast
Little kids running through the grass
Not a worry in the world
Then you look up an you're reading the Omaha World Herald
You think to yourslef, wow this is very strange
She went back to her room where her favorite song was just ending at the best part.
The little twinkles that faded with a high D flat that made her emotions fall apart.
I don't know myself
I was myself
But not anymore.
Looking at myself
This isn't my face
This is not me
This isn't my look.
Looking through my soul
Looking through my reflection
before the sun bore down
on the days of sunflower yellow
and make believe dreams of a pink frilly gown
i’d bellow, “hello, scarecrows, hello!”
Our bones rot and decay
But not yet for me.
As I grow older,
I consider my mortality.
Time goes by and we don't care to acknowledge.
Too busy trying to grow up
And ship ourselves of to college,
Before you leave my room shut the door,
We’ve talked about this before.
For the love of pearl chew with your mouth closed,
Oh girl, I know that Instagram was posed.
You are changed by the decisions you make, as well as the one’s you don’t
Decisions of love are often done blind
Taking advantage of the first sign of your deepest insecurities
It was abrupt when
I shattered a clock,
hurled it to the ground,
stomped and smushed it flat,
kicked it off, aside
and left you kneeling,
Mom? Please dont leave...
I need you as a guide..keep breathing
If youre gone I dont have much.
Ive gotten a job, I want to help pay for hospital bills.
Just please stay im only 17 now i still need you.
