prevention
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You and I have never met
But I am the child you must not forget.
I am the child who whimpered in pain.
I am the child who was beaten and slain.
I am the child who cried at night.
Everyone perceives suicide differently.
Someone’s grandma killed herself because she was in so much pain from cancer and only had so long to live anyways.
Everyone perceives suicide differently.
Someone’s grandma killed herself because she was in so much pain from cancer and only had so long to live anyways.
I have never been able to say the words out loud.
But I definetly know without a doubt, my uncle is gone
He left in what seemed like the blink of an eye.
A suprise visit the week before Turkey day
O captain my captain who sleeps with the tide
Who told tales of treachery and sweet siren cries
We've gone down with the ship
Sunken and buried
Why run away? When there was no hurry
January 29, 2018
Dear all those who love me,
It sits there menacingly, waiting
It’s come back around, and it’s ready for a fight
I’ve prepared my armor…my guns
What a whore?
What a slut?
Oh my God, did she give it up?
Drink some bleach
Get a rope
Didn’t cut deep enough?
Next time try your throat
Ew it smells like rotten fish
Beauty doesn't always
come easily.
Insecurity will rear its
ugly head.
But you, my love,
You are so
perfect.
To be like you, one could only
wish.
So please
There used to be a time she only listened to the sweet harmony,
but the lullaby won't seem to stop dancing on her tongue.
She murmurs the verses at the slow beat of her heart
Rain drops earth at a steady stop
Clouds of depression cover her heaven
Faces of shame
Share the blame
Heaven doesn't ring it's bells
An angel is expelled
A silent cry for help
Being awoken
And opening my eyes
To the sunshine
Every morning
When I could only see darkness
Showed me that
There was more to me
Than my mental illness
It gave me a reason
As a kid
I loved swimming
It was something
That made me happy
As I grew
My love
For immersion
Became fear
As I realized
The mental horror
Of drowning
You will wish to have called just once more
To have heard their voice once more
To have held their hand when it wasn’t cold
To have hugged them tighter the last time you saw them
no matter what you say or do
it will never be
enough
not what they're looking for
so your feelings,
they're ignored
they're a lie
just like you
just because you're a liar too
Hey, is anyone out there listening?Where are the ears to hear?Her heart is opening wide;can you feel her agony?Does any one care?Her tears are falling.There are secrets in her soul
So here is a story about how I became oblivious to addiction
with a substance I've been told was something God had gifted
and a gift it was for a while at least
no sense of pain and time's existance just ceased
I received a phone call from my father
Explaining that it was all too real
And all too sudden
This man he spoke of did not sound like the uncle, his brother I knew
I wanted to be there
I did
At the edge of my bed,
A close friend creeps,
His gibbers and gabbers fill my head,
The way he speaks is quite bleak,
I'd not mind it if he wasn't two years dead.
When youre all alone and you think no one is around. When you think no one else see's what youre doing. Look up to the sky, forgot about him, did you? God knows all and see's all.
Fool me one time shame on you…Fool me twice, can't put the blame on you…Fool me three times, fuck the peace signs load the chopper, and let it rain on you precipitating shells of emptiness disturbing the atmosphere surrounding its casing.
In time and chance
Maybe we can all dance
Up and Down the world so green
Why do people have to be so mean
Time can change anybody's name
And yet people remain the same
Sometimes things go wrong
A boy named Evan, happy as could be
Or so it seemed
No one understood, no one could see,
the darkness lurking beneath
As an outsider looking in,
everything seemed perfect
Until that grave September night
I was born into this world by parents and adopted by you
You didn’t have to adopt me, but you wanted to keep me
I wanted to be your pet, love and devoted to you it’s true
When you commit suicide you kill yourself
Others then die inside and are robbed of wealth
You are valuable to others more than you know
Suicide just let’s all your weaknesses show
Chances are you could find love
Chances are you can be happy
Chances are you have to shove
You're always emergency room crisis, broken knucklesSometimes blood isn't always meant to be poetic, kid You keep betting your life, wishing against. what's the bid? The big pyramid scheme of existence
They look at the people like us and they laugh
Laughs feel like attacks
Attacks on walls that are already crumbling
Crumbling like our self-esteem and our hopes and dreams
Dreams that are fading away
They say it doesn't matter.
That they can fix things
With some pills, or a rope
And everything will be okay.
“Why keep going?” they say.
“Nothing that I do matters.”
“Nothing can help me.”
She walks in her room
picks up her razor, grabs the pills
she sits down on her bed, and she cries
"Why? Why me!" she screams
Everyone sighs
Some may even roll their eyes
Batteries don't last forever
Juice oozes with every standing O
Your rays and beams lit up
Penetrated the humorless
The light was sold with every ticket
The silver screen molded into a stake
A mother's love is so deep and true there is nothing she wouldn't do for you. A mother's love will always and forever try to protect you and keep you from feeling blue. A mother's love will be there for you on a drop of a dime.
It can go away so easily
All this pain, this fear
This loneliness, these tears
I can make it go away.
It can go away so easily
Just three pills too many
A small slit to a fragile wrist
Being girl and growing up watching Disney classic
You think we all love the princesse
Not this girl, I fell in love with the Genie played by Robin Williams
His death shocked the nation
Wouldn’t it be easy?
A hand full of pills,
Gently sliding down my throat,
Poisoning my body,
You know that girl who's always smiling and laughing,
That girl who isn't popular, but everyone likes her,
That girl who can cheer anyone up within seconds,
That girl who loves and cares for everyone?
You know that girl who's always smiling and laughing,
That girl who isn't popular, but everyone likes her,
That girl who can cheer anyone up within seconds,
That girl who loves and cares for everyone?
Wake up late,
Mornings I hate
Don't like leaving my bed
The smell of bacon
Brings a cravin'
Jam spread over bread
Hash browns or home fries
Always satisfies
Kethchup on top
Reading! Writting! Things that make people cringe but makes smilegive me words over sports give me a book over TV
Suicide isn't the way out.
I know it seems like it would make everyone else's life simpler.
But it won't
It's not worth it.
Your parents will mourn.
Your friends will cry.
People will notice.
The sun comes up, it's been a hard night.
Her eyes are red, swollen from nights
of fighting her own inner demons.
The ones no one even realizes exists.
She drags herself from her bed, her sanctuary,
Look up kid, the stars are still in place, the moon hasn’t left,
there’s no pressure there. So stay, watch the sky. Just, stay.
Don’t hide, the leaves are changing and the field is dead,
Open skys, please open
Wide.
Hold my wings and allow me
to glide.
Take my pain
that I hide.
And bring through the clouds
a brand new tide.
My heart is like glass
One word
One action
Can shatter it so easily
My heart is like glass
No father
Arguements everyday
Sorrow and heartache
My heart is ike gass
She was getting skinnier
By the day
So much thinner
By the week.
The sickness
Invading her body;
Intruding,
Uninvited,
Fatal.
Her bones
Protruding.
Her mother
Have you ever felt alone,like no one cares about you?
Felt alone even when you where with a bunch of other people?
Silent cries that got ignorged
I lost my faith and all the worth in
ones self...
didnt want to live
One cut to the skin I felt the adrenaline rush something like
Why would you just stand and watch?
What if it was your friend or family?
Feeling emotionally lost.
Feeling as if no one is there.
Feeling embarassed.
How can someone get to the point
in their life
where death deems so right?
When you wake up
Every single day
Wishing for an end
to it all.
And more specifically,
Once upon a time there was a wandering child
Who found herself in a cold, dark wasteland.
Once it was her safe haven, now her never-waking nightmare.
She searches in the fog for the answers.
Some call it crazy,
Some say it’s sick,
but I think it’s freedom,
the pain is fierce, but quick.
Some say that it’s a sin,
just a little to risqué.
But it helps to release the pain
Life is a prison
Won’t someone let me out?
There’s no one around
To hear when I shout.
Climb the walls of insanity
Jump into the pit of despair.
If I fall it won’t matter
My toes touch the edge,
I look down.
I see the darkness
beneath the ground.
I look up,
searching for light.
All I see is darkness
deep in the night.
In a life full of sorrow and strife,
The only thing I want to do is hold the knife.
The knife that cuts, the knife that scars,
The knife that stops most of the wars.
The wars inside, the fights on the out.
Is it worth it?
He finnesed me with ease
Anything he wanted was his
Love, sex, money, drugs
----anything for him
He said he'd always love me, no matter what he'd done
dissapointment
when the 16 year old boy kills himself for no known reason
how your bestfriend changes faster than the seasons
and how when its winter you want summer and when its summer you want fall
Still pulchritudinous,
I can see you now,
No Mystery here; nor why or how,
~
The color of perfume caressing your arms,
This damn velvet scent will never change,
My love, my other half the light soon to shine in my eyes and awaken me to an adventure of a lifetime, a ride of the century and the joy ill feel for so many years, the thought of you my one and only brings tears to my eyes , a
Have you ever thought of suicide?
If you’re strong enough to put a blade to your throat?
Or a gun to your head?
I walked a mile to high school everyday.
I sat for six hours.
I learned about subjects
that I didn't care about.
When school was over
I walked a mile home
and spent my own time
doing more work.
The cold on my feet As I walk to your fate… The lump in my throat As I hold in your tears… The numbness in my body As I think of your feelings… I’m sorry. He comes in, Asks me if I’m ok. I say I’m fine, But I know I’m not. I’m sorry.
What Do You MEAN I'm Suspended?
Im not allowed to say that in class?
Im not allowed to say that thinking about taking my life isn't me being a coward but instead you being inconsiderate?
Jugular venous pressure is estimated by positioning
A patient’s head at a 45-degree angle.
When the veins in the neck
Are swollen as high as the angle of the jaw,
Blood pressure rises.
Let’s play a game, we’ll start with you
Tell you what I feel, not of use
Arrogant, lazy, always crude
Tug another knot, tie the noose
Cowardly ways, I’ll take the blame
She said I spoke her life
when I spit my suicide
to teenage Bible campers
who might never hear our story otherwise
"At the age of eight,
I had a handle on my life,
and connecting to that handle
Delinquents with damaged egosWhat lies behind a smile?A fragile soul cracked like shingle tileAs the cold wind blows
There seemed to be no way out.
I couldn’t scream and I wouldn’t shout.
I let it go in a dangerous way.
Too much has happened for me to say
I'm running, but going nowhere.
I need help.
Help me try to get through all these nightmares
that keep racing through my mind.
How long will it last?
Someone, anyone, help me.
The pen is mightier than the sword
As the cut is weaker than the word
And while your body is greatly scarred
In your heart you are even more scared
So I write for you
And give you words to heal
Your body's getting cold, your lips are turning blue. why did you do it? you're the only one who knew, I see the earth below like the pillow on your bed, no ropes no guns you overdose instead.
Hello My Name is AnshulAnd I have a secret I’ve been keeping from all of youIm 16 and Pregnant
The monster.
It is hungry.
It needs to get out.
It needs to get away.
It claws at the bars.
Knaws on its cage.
It needs to be free.
The monster scratches
And bites
Large, mystical, and unpredictable,
He guided us through the night.
He saw us enter the alley
That led us to shivering from fright.
Here to remind him of his past
She stares him in the eye,
Glaring, for years, it seems to last.
On his arms, by a sleeve she’s masked;
“I have never truly felt as though I've belonged to this world,” I tell myself, “This is what is destined for me, the moment my life has encouraged and has been building up to.
Blissfully dancing, each crimson tear
One by one creating a river
Each river unique
Yet each river filled with sorrow
Why has each river been painfully caused?
Each stripe, filled with red hatred
her blood stained sleeves cover her arms
hiding the wounds of her terrible pain
she wears a smile so you cant see
the real her, who she is
even when it's hot,
she wears the jackets,
long sleeve shirts
THIS ONE IS FOR ME: WE NEED TO GIVE OURSELVES A LITTLE LOVE AT TIMES.
Came home from an exhausting day on the job
Dogs barking greeting you we step in the hood.
everybody knows anybody
I made three phonecalls on a sunday.
My parents didn't answer.
My best friend didn't answer.
I called 911 and she told me to tell the officer when he got to my home.
I called for help.
My wrists were slit.
Enough is enough you tell yourself.
You wish you had a sense of stealth.
You wish to leave this frail life
Even if it’s with a knife.
On the bed thinking.
Where's my razor
So I can cut up.
Where's my razor
So I can take this pain away
Why do people consistently bully or judge me when they don't even know me?
who said it wasn't love?
my experiences have told me it was closer to love
closer than anything I had experienced.
this life I now hold,
it wasn't created by an act of immoral actions.
Tapping fingers on a desk
No one notices
Tapping fingers on the keys
Everyone laughs
Tapping fingers on my head
Everything is hurting
Tapping fingers on the trigger
Nothing
sometimes you dont know how you will feel,
sometimes you dont know how you will react,
sometimes you are so bottled up you dont know what to do,
sometimes you do things you didnt realize you did,
she sees herself as a nobody,
and to others shes a nobody
by the time shes a somebody
she'll again be a nobody.
Parents tried to hear me, People tried to fear me
The letter I wrote said “Dear me,”
But I wouldn’t let anyone near me
Feeling like a doll nailed up against the wall
Wanting to fall, and just let go of it all
She looks calm and collected on the surface,
Under her tough shell she is screaming.
Inspiration for life and future are no where,
Can anyone ever love a mistake like her?
In her mind she will never be good enough.
I shall wait with bated breath, because
These lacerations are tattooed on my back
Initiating the tears falling down my cheek while the scars
Spell out the hurt I’ve endured,
Spill out my pain through the wounds and
DOES ANYTHING MATTER ANYMORE
DOES IT MATTER THAT WHEN YOU'RE DOING GOOD
ONE LITTLE INDISCREPANCY CAN CHANGE YOUR WHOLE LIFESTYLE
The mirror this morning hisses at me
I hear the croaks of past critique
And for some reason, I agree
This day is cold and bleak
Time sprints in silence
And jogs when I speak
Please don’t feel alone,
For there are people surrounding you with their love.
Please don’t beat yourself down,
For you could reach for the stars.
Please don’t harm yourself,
I walk by myself, alone.
Nobody seems to notice or care.
Emotionally I seem to have not grown.
I have thoughts I cannot share.
who are you to tell me im no good
to make fun of those from the hood
to bitter those once sweet like honey
to down those with litte or lots of money
is it true that your not satisfied
She screams, she cries
She takes off her disguise
She begs the world to see
They will never see.
some people disregard the actions they make.
many tend to forget the opportunities they take.
but when it comes to love, and the true definition.
they don’t know until it’s gone, that something was missing.
She still remembers him.
The only man to know her touch
She gave him all she had to offer
but he didn't leave her much
more than some memories.
The only ones she'll ever know.
A smile, a nod, some kind of love, a wink, a glance, a knowing smirk, a friend, a lover, a neighbor, a sister, a brother, a cousin, an aunt, a mother, an uncle, a father, a stranger, a phone call, a text, a profession, a secret, an invitation, a l
