im so very sad

and i want to tell someone

i want so badly to just say it

just admit it

out loud

plainly

to an audience

tell them

that sometimes

i want to die

i want to take 30 aspirin

i want to overdose on my antidepressants

i want to drown in the pool

i want to slash open my wrists and bleed

i want to start the car in the garage

and breathe in until i dont anymore

but more than all of this

more than anything

i want to live

i just want to live

without wanting to die