toxic relationships

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 It was 11pm in the beginning of February. There was a group text. It was like the universe aligned.Months of friendship and flirting,Until you finally won my affection.
When I was small, I was told to smile Or else I could never be loved, So I smiled.    When my uncle died, They said I was too young to grieve, So I smiled.   
I try way too hard and came way to far for you to treat me the way that you do, but my bad.
Can I be your dog? Fed a bowl of cigarettes in the stale morning,   bowl of you at night. I'll wag my tail when you're home, follow you around.   Can I be your dog?
I was so open, Legs open,  Heart open, But mind closed to the idea of Your deception. Of How you
is this abuse? if it wasn't before you tell me i'm invalid a monster a cruel being to this beautiful world you brought me in , you can take me out threats, how obscure
For the losers who lost us. The people who loved us. The lucky people who get to meet us. This is for you.   I don't have an attitude, just a personality you can't handle love.
For the losers who lost us. The people who loved us. The lucky people who get to meet us. This is for you.   I don't have an attitude, just a personality you can't handle love.
my ecstasy, your gentle touch is a consistent one.  fingers running down my back like spiders descending from silk strung webs, you whisper promises in my ear.
When I was young I was taught to love, To give, to comfort and to make laugh. I was taught to say gratitude and blessings; To have faith and to create my dreams I was taught to be patient; to be kind and to forgive.
all i could think about when he pushed his way inside of me was his enchanting stories of a better life
Let's connect to reality; turn off the electricity, lie in the silence that invades us. I'll hear you for lack of the other sounds that made us bearable, one to the other.
I'm sorry. Pardon me. For a second there I thought you might love me, Maybe it was the words you said to me, Comparing my smile to the world's seven wonders, My eyes to fine rubies,
Who left the tap on? When his building storm spills out,She is made to carry the overflow He refuses to call a plumberAnd there’s only so much flooding this room can take
every night i go to bed shaking the tremors rip through my body shaking hands, shaking hearts i pull pillows to my chest and i press down as hard as i can
You grabbed my wrist,  Dragged me towards you. A deep purple formed there to  Remind me of you throughout the following weeks.
Love is not- about power and control it isn't an assassin of dreams and aspirations it never humiliates or belittles -it is not a want-led force rampaging and unchecked
"You're like a roller coaster. And I want off." His words still linger in the back of my mind, the way his hands used to linger at the bottom of my spine. Unwelcome, yet so intoxicating. Uninvited, yet so addicting.
The laugh, the voice My mind can't place it So familiar, yet so far away Two strangers lie intertwined Bodies bare and warm Like a small pool of summer amidst the winter storm Carefree and open...
With the light shining on my face, You told me I look full of grace. When I flared my nose while I was upset with you, You told me it was me you wanted to pursue. When I cried about something so small,
3:34pm (01/08/2020) i hate that ive been missing you so often. it’s like a feeling i can’t shake, you remind of so many things that i want to forget,
What if I  Told you that You didn't matter? How would you Feel then? You  Have told me  Time and time 
Sickened I find myself Unsettled By who I swore I would never become She would never Hurt me Not like that I tell them Bruises Internal
Traversing the brim of ill determination stuck walking in eternal night   Existing only in those rusted hallows purely pursued out of spite  
When she came to me I tried to warn her Despite the danger I know I pose I drew her in anyway A carnivorous flower So intriguing So pretty to look at You draw near it
How messed up is it that we live in a world  Where blue is for boys and pink is for girls   Where it’s better for men to have a gun than a doll
You fucked up You know that you did We'll ruin you for it Shit, we already did We want nothing to do with you Nothing, we're through with you
I don't want to find love. I just want to be free. I only care about the people who believe in me. It's hard to find a truelove out there. Sometimes, it just ain't there.
i thought i did something that made you mad made you hate the way i blink or hate the way i shiver when it’s cold outside i thought i did something that just
I wish you would just hit me But you got inside my bones and split me from the inside. I hate that I’m that girl who writes poetry about a boy to feel human again. But you’re not a boy,
your touch it lingersit lingers on my skinyou were so warm I never wanted to give inas tears fall from my eyes now I can finally seeit was never you it was meI want to see youI want to feel 
***Trigger Warning***   “Boys will be boys” “Let bygones be bygones” “Forget about it” “Get over it.”
I’ll use my broken bones as a splint My black eyes will start my eye shadow You can’t keep me away with the danger of bloody noses Violence won’t wash away la vie en rose
I put the bottles to my lips hoping to drown myself from the sadness. Never realizing how toxic these bottles really are for me. Drowning myself from the toxicity of you.
You told me I was your little pearl. Glimmering and white, Pure and loved, A beauty to beat the rising sun. I was naïve and innocent,
It is bittersweet. I miss taking you to eat and I miss rubbing on your feet. I miss having someone to trust and to be vulnerable with and to lust after.. You'd eat my broccoli and I'd eat your crust.
Calm overwhelms me   Breaking and splintering the anger and painThe words you spoke to me may heal with time But scars take far longer to fade    I stand tall  
You taught me to be silent You stole my voice You told me to be small You stole my strength You pushed me down You stole the ground from underneath my feet   But today I stand back up
Our lives are inexplicably connected and I hate that   Every corner I attempt to turn your face lingers, leering with kindness and hesitation   I scrub myself
A conversation between two people about a boy she’ll never know:   what is it that you like about him? like the one key detail that separates him from the rest  
Hypnotized, brainwashed, tortured yet I never leave.  
I needed you like I needed a cigarette. Like tar to my lungs, you poisoned my life. I was only 17 and thought, "This is what love is"... It was more like drowning.  
i gave you everything and it still wasn't enough. you made me feel like i was nothing.  made me believe that i was difficult to love. and like a fool i kept trying,
    no one   saw  what you   did except           the crickets    in the        garden     who            chirped a       melody
You asked me to be honest So I told you I was fine Because I know That's what you wanted to hear   Time has moved forward since then I no longer fear your hands Even if they never
You don’t know how you plucked my heart like a rose and it skipped a beat as you                   whispered the sweetness of sonnets.
I first recognised it as an infant, becoming accustomed to this trait. Sporadic bursts of love and laughter were sure signs  this was meant to be.  Then monumental loss replaced it with a scourge of darkness
My mentor, my dear mentor, How terrible you have been to me, And yet I must thank you.
Before I learned to think in her critical voice,
Four months ago From the beginning you were mine I was yours It was perfect We were perfect You were perfect
::Build me a home of stone and dustLight up the fire with roses and lust//Lay me a bed of feathers and cloudsSing me a song of the torn and the vowed//Show me dissenters with rocks in their slings
I want to love you with all my heart, But I can’t. I want to give you everything, But I can’t. I want to care for you, And take away your pain,
I’m so scared I’mscaredI’mscaredI’mscaredI’mscared I don’t know What to do How to act What to say I’m so scared
you ignited an uncouth flame a knife to sharpen and a thing to blame but forever we were
My body has been burned Scorched and used From the times my feathers were ripped from my body In a pillow fight I will never win. My bones are fragile
I want to forget the way your words became teeth, Sharp, gnashing, unforgiving. You talk ‘pretty’ now. Your canines ground down and polished,
Last semester  I entered another scholarship contest-Because I Love You A slam against toxic teenage relationships Writing that poem made me realize that I didn't know what healthy love looks like. 
for so long you've been sinking belly full of stones i press my lips to yours with the notion that breathing outward might send you upward  but somehow accidentally i breathe in
Dear Mommy,   Let me start off with the fact that I love you And that I really appreciate everything you have ever done for me But you are not without your faults In fact, you have quite a bit of them
to you, who loved me without love:   it has been so long. three years ago You were everything. had not touched me yet
Dear My Beloved Copy, I cannot recall the day that you came into my life that well anymore (I guess I am a bad mother) But I can remember is the complete euphoria of cracking your spine for the first time
Dear Untouchable,   Proven divine, your soul glows like gold under glistening sunlight; its own halo that just doesn’t happen to gleam right.
To my ex-best friend That tells everyone she doesn’t know what she did wrong; You built your confidence by standing on top of me,  Knowing that I wasn’t strong -- 
Dear Past and Present,        I write this letter in hopes that you will never write me one.        You braided my hair when I was in the seventh grade.
To you,                 You know who you are, so dare I write your name? Dare I continue writing? I dare because that is what you taught me to do.               “Dream on, dream big, never be subpar,”
bend the bruises mend the stains, go ahead and break the chains, wait outside the wrong track door, hear the voices, not good for anymore.   break the bones, like all souls show,
Jordan,   Because they were rough, and calloused The worn fingers that laced with mine matched the temperament of their owner The hands of a hard man  
2017bled out in color for me, a thousanddifferent shades tempered by jealousy andreminding me that indeed they wereghostsof somebody I used to know that Ididn't anymore and I didn't
And when you left I thought   You had taken     Everything     From me.  
Covered in a fury of flames,And subsequent smoke,I called for some water to quench myparched self.So you,My beautiful,Last signal flare,guided me to your outstretched arms.You became my oceanOf loveAnd shallow devotion.I grasped for your hand,Sear
Hello. Please, don't get your hopes up. This is NOT a love letter.  This is a letter to say goodbye. Goodbye to the days of whimpering with fear, everytime you stepped near.
I want to cry Screw up my eyes and bawl Scream into a void about the unfairness of it all But the tears refuse. They won’t come to my eyes. Won’t allow me release from the torture you brought me
Ill use the love letters you wrote me to fuel the fire I light to destroy this paper house I have been living in.    
I care, and Why by Henry Rude   You text me all day. What is going on right now? I would like to know.   He says "I love you" Beats and bruises, scars and slaps
It consumes you and becomes what you are now. Love is when you hold me dearly to your chest. (You’d do so if you loved me as much as I do you).  
Black eyes, bruised skin Just because I love you, doesn't mean I'll let you in. Love with you is fist fights, broken glass. Harsh words that cut the skin, broken plates littering the floor That's not what love is.
I felt alone, I felt betrayed I didn't leave because I was afraid When I asked for a good reason to stay, He said, "Because I love you." I watched and every day I tried To forgive him, but I still cried 
It's a crowded room, but all I see is summer rain on cobblestones, and through a rain-stained lens, something points my vision to you. Like the headlights of two cars behind red lights at a midnight
Are you willing to wait for me? I don’t know if it’s right to abuse you like this   This is my fault Retching at pictures at everything you do the moment we kiss
It's crazy what i did for love You put me in a box that kept getting smaller. and smaller. and smaller. Instead of breaking out, I curled up and made myself smaller. and smaller. and smaller.
“I do it because I love you,” He will say when he goes through your things.  “It’s not because I don’t trust you,” He will tell you, but he enjoys the fights that his actions bring.   
“goodbyes” from a list of messages never sent.   You told me it was unfair For me to get up and walk away But did you not see
Pen to Paper My words are lost Like endless black oceans. I have no words for you, I'm tired of these useless notions. I held you on a pedestal And watched it crumble. As the evil seeped through
Really, I’m not sure what exactly I was expecting, looking for answers in your fragmented breaths. I’ve spent much more time than I’m proud of trying to look at you through a rearview mirror instead of a foggy window.
She knew that loving him would be disastrous, but she was already a disaster. She knew that by holding onto his hand meant that she could be left all alone, reaching out for a hand that was never meant to touch hers.
I fell in love with his tragedy the way summer comes The retreat of the sun only breeding vulnerability coercing me, importuning me, to surmise my sole worth in this wretched world was to be enough for him
Over the course of time I’ve caught a couple knives in the back From a couple friends I thought it was kinda weird how they thought It would feel good  
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