I first recognised it as an infant, becoming accustomed to this trait.
Sporadic bursts of love and laughter were sure signs
this was meant to be.
Then monumental loss replaced it with a scourge of darkness
it was little wonder I didn't sleep.
Growing up as a quiet teenager a souless feeling became
Thoughts of suicide a plenty; a rope, a pill, stepping out in front
of an oncoming train - just like mommy too.
Forced to bury this feeling away so long a part of me became
Searching to fill the abyss with others became my career, my
calling, my entrapment to you.
How I wanted to feel under someone's skin again was all I
Getting snippets here and there made the journey
far from easy to bear.
How could I ever tell someone 'I truly love you' know I weren't
whole within oneself.
Overtime this became exhausting resigned to a fate of only
which I knew.
Now with no-one around me I had so much work to do.
Picking up the shards of the past was difficult knowing I wore
glass slippers too.
Sharp cutting pieces everywhere made facing the past harrowing
and haunting - Is this what its like for you ?
Yet I know I couldn't continue this way so I am forced to
face it through.
Perhaps together we can beat it we just need to flush our
independent shackles down the loo.
I cry out for salvation because all other attempts have flown
away, far away from my empty soul, please give me love
as its the only feeling I desire for you.