I first recognised it as an infant, becoming accustomed to this trait.

Sporadic bursts of love and laughter were sure signs 

this was meant to be. 

Then monumental loss replaced it with a scourge of darkness

it was little wonder I didn't sleep.

Growing up as a quiet teenager a souless feeling became

the norm.

Thoughts of suicide a plenty; a rope, a pill, stepping out in front 

of an oncoming train - just like mommy too. 

Forced to bury this feeling away so long a part of me became

severly numb.

Searching to fill the abyss with others became my career, my 

calling, my entrapment to you.

How I wanted to feel under someone's skin again was all I 

longed for.

Getting snippets here and there made the journey 

far from easy to bear.

How could I ever tell someone 'I truly love you' know I weren't

whole within oneself. 

Overtime this became exhausting resigned to a fate of only 

which I knew. 

Now with no-one around me I had so much work to do. 

Picking up the shards of the past was difficult knowing I wore

glass slippers too.

Sharp cutting pieces everywhere made facing the past harrowing

and haunting - Is this what its like for you ?

Yet I know I couldn't continue this way so I am forced to

face it through. 

Perhaps together we can beat it we just need to flush our 

independent shackles down the loo.

I cry out for salvation because all other attempts have flown 

away, far away from my empty soul, please give me love

as its the only feeling I desire for you.