curtain
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A platform for Thespis and song,
I would like to thank the stage.
A barrier from audience and wrong,
I would like to thank the curtain.
A guide off the stage and on,
I would like to thank the lights.
What happens when a window becomes bare?
Deprived of lonely security-
Which normally was aided by dull, pitiful curtains,
Will it survive the prodding of light infiltration?
Upon a mid-summer afternoon
The curtains find release
Dancing with the wind
Fluttering with the breeze
Silent
Why even try? Constantly feeling the need to get their approval and for what? Praise? Recognition? Why is it that you go out of your way for them, after everything? An apology?
I am passionate.
When I love something, it is more than love; it is a clawing, aching, inescapable need for more of it.
I love movies, a lot.
Facebook, Twitter, the 'Gram
It's all make believe, like a fairytale
People will go to the 'Gram,
All my life
I have been unwrapped
My ribs glossy-exposed
My lips made of glass
They have told me to learn
And I have taught myself to listen
While ignoring what is important
Walking in the hall of high school, masses of students passing you by. Some recognized you and wanted to compliment your stylish clothing.
In a world of darkness I can’t pull back the curtain,
The truth is for certain but offence is a burden--- to some
So I hold onto the curtain.
I have been writing for almost a decade now and what I’ve learned
Is that poetry is damn dangerous,
But it is the only safety I’ve ever found in my life.
Who hides behind this mask of mine,
The one given at birth so fine,
The one who wishes to fit in,
Yet identity sticks like a pin.
Through dance she moves effortlessly,
Mirror,
Mirror.
you can see me,
but can you hear me?
Please tell me you're not like them,
you don't just see what's on the outside,
you can hear me.
You know me,
I hide behind a mask of hurt, insecurity and rejection.
Maybe its because I was never a boy's first selection, not having an hour glass figure really killed
The real me is like the real you.
Sitting behind the scratched, glass pane separating us,
In our once a week, twenty-minute-monitored conversation.
As we speak through the coils of a half-
It’s too easy to fake a smile,
force a laugh,
say “I’m doing well”
It’s too easy to go with the flow,
to become clichés,
to rely on autopilot.
It’s too easy to slather on foundation,
You ask me if my personality lies behind a curtain,
I am sorry to inform you for that I am not certain.
I am more than a face you may remember.
I don't know what you see
But is it really me
I hide behind so many different things
Sweats on the regular
Books are more interesting
Very few friends
Because I am no means to an end
The sun is rising.
It’s time for another day
I get up
Put on my mask
Pull the curtains shut
Start playing the hologram.
There’s a person moving across the stage
In my mind, there is never sleep
Thoughts are what create
I want to be loud
Louder than I am
And I am loud
I wish people could feel my love
Without misinterpreting it
It surrounds me.
It consumes me.
The black fog that fills my mind.
It only comes when I'm at my lowest.
It knows when it's welcome.
That's the problem, I welcome it.
With open, raw arms.
My life has been full of secrets
My thoughts much protected
My personality a big puzzle
This is what happens when I speak my mind.
"All you do is complain all the time."
This is why I can't be me.
Because, you see, to me, my life is just not complete.
Curtain?
What curtain?
My face screams agony wherever I wander
Between the lines of a soft smile
And the Gap in my two front teeth
I laugh, for the pain is too great
Day by day boisterous people walk my way
I sit in classrooms with people who speak their minds
Their confidence is so high they don't care what they say
Oh how I wish I could be the same way
The world only sees
What I want them to see
The true me is a mystery
I crumble behind the scenes
I smiled once today
And it was a miracle, see,
For the first time in months
I remember how the shackles fit
since I was three years old
and noticed that my brother had cars
and I had an apron lined with
silver bars, they trapped my dreams
they hid my screams under a noxious smell
Hidden Behind The Curtain
It's a masquerade ball
monsters are beautified to all
I’m not supposed to call it mine
My anxiety and depression isn’t supposed to be mine,
I’m supposed to distance myself because somehow that helps.
Somehow saying it isn’t mine
makes it okay
I can't always pretend
That I've got everything together,
Showing no emotion like a man.
I can't always wear a brave face
When things plummet downhill.
I want to disappear without a trace.
~a heart once so pure
Heavy with burdens
~Smiles turn to gold
Shy to break, soft to hold
~molded in flawless to be just flaws
~A heavy broken smile is all I am
Addicted. Insecure.
Lonely. Boring.
My curtain hides me
keeps me from being hurt again.
It hides how lonely I am
How much I crave touch
But I'm too afraid to reach out for it.
Walking down the hall
The eyes staring me down
I can’t let them see,
I hide behind many curtains
along with anyone I've ever known
its a paradox in the sense that we are all hiding who we are
from people who are hiding who they are
A stream of red lies on the ground,
with the sound of my heart pound, pound, pounding.
I want you to hear it, but shards are in your ears,
the scratching against the walls sound like your worst fears.
This prison wall, this masquerade drains life
Every time I fall into it's trap.
I all alone build barriers from strife,
Though hurt inside I still force out a laugh
I paste a smile no matter what I feel
Do I know what I'm talking about?
Am I filling myself with self doubt?
As I wonder around an empty loft
I feel a phantom cough;
I do not know who I am
I do not know what's going on
I look in the mirror
I don’t expect what I see
The reflection is not mine
Looking so perfect
With make-up, pretty hair
And a fabricated smile
The mirror of my soul
Is so much deeper
Bringing out laughter
Is what I am after
Audience laughters
Brings out the clown
The clown who cheers
To those who frowns
On the clown
A smile is painted
Upon the face
What am I hiding?
Not much, actually.
But the question is:
From myself,
Or from others?
I’m not insecure,
And I’m comfortable with myself.
I’m confident,
But maybe that’s more
I hide behind the Curtain
but People can still see
if they look hard
They will find me
I hide behind the Curtain
When I want them to know
What is bothering me
What hurts now
My mom likes to think I'm just like her
That I love crowds of people and constant noise
That I love calling all attention to myself
And that I like conflict
My mom thinks I hide my real self from the world
My True Self
My true self is a lion
A gorgeous one you see
When she stands up fierce as well as tall
A structure alone
Of jointed bones
With a thin layer
Of mortal beauty
Fair skin and dark eyes
Fair heart and dark mind
Oh I pray that this
Is all there's to me
Scared of being judged by the wandering eyes.
Society preaches the importance of diversity.
Why do people feel the need to live a life of lies?
Unaccepting glances create adversity.
Hello, my name is SomeBody
And this goes out to society and everybody that refused to let me be me
Becaue yall led me to believe that I had to live up to the standards and expectations that yall and society told me had to be
Who’s that girl?
The one who always has her hand stretched up high in the air.
Everyone knows that she has something to say, a comment, possible a question, or even a witty remark.
She is so charismatic!
A child hides behind his mother’s strength,
It seems his fear has grown to impossible lengths.
Day after day, the strangers keep passing,
How come everytime i turn around
People are worried about others opinion?
How come everytime i turn around
People are dying
Dying cuz they are scared to be themselves
Scared cuz the world is soo cruel
The face in the mirror
The face in my mind
The face they all see
and the face that I hide
none of them real
but none of them fake
Society is the door
and I should be the window
FakeA descriptor built from uncertainty and accusations Tailored to those who do not fit regulations or expectations - freaks Used by those who do not understand anyone and those who wish to understand themselves.
Sweet and kind outside
Still sweet inside
Stll lingering is a desire for solitude
Behind My Hidden Mask
Passion as an artist
The thirst of a scholar
The pen of a writer
Behind my Hidden Mask
Behind this mask,
No one can tell,
How I play this role so well,
Behind this mask,
Things you would never believe,
Stuff your eyes will never conceive,
Behind this curtain I stand
Holding my hands out
Palms up
Asking silently for help
But the words won’t escape my lips
And the thought of asking slips my mind
As the curtain rises.
This curtain is my protection,
I need it to hide myself from the world.
Paranoia and anxiety is a hard thing to hide,
And it seems no one understands it.
To me I am sweet,
To me I am kind,
Everyone knows,
When they speak to me...
Everyone knows
My story.
They know,
They know,
Of my travels
Of my sexuality
Of my hopes
Of my abuse
Of my greatest achievements
Who I am to you?
A woman.
A woman who has fun.
Who like to venture out and dance.
A woman with motivation and focus.
Someone who likes to run and lift.
A fashionista.
I made you believe me…
You didn’t have a reason to doubt…
Why would the first words I ever spoke to you
Be a lie?
It was psychotic.
The hardest thing I've ever done is keep my smile
It's hard to keep a smile when you're eight years old
Chorus:
I'm stressed out
A lot of stuff on my mind, I don't know what to do
I'm stressed out
I just want to be alone, so I'm sitting in my room
I'm stressed out
Others think I'm strong.
Others think I'm happy all year long.
The truth is hard to spill
As it is what keeps me with good will.
Sometimes I wonder if I can trust a person
If someone is in need,
their guardian I will be.
Need a hand?
Your wish is my command.
Is everything all right?
You can tell me, do not be in fright.
This smile I wear,
POOF!
Now I am confident!
SNAP!
Now I am beautiful!
BOOM!
Now I am talented!
Here I stand,
So hear my demands!
My confidence has surly convinced you!
I hope to live to see my riches
not a loved one from the past
what does it feel like to be appreciated
right here and right now
Workin for the money
Showing home empty handed
What am I supposed to do
Tori
Content, friendly, and dramatic
Lover of modeling, fine arts, and vacations
Who feels nervous for the future, wholesomeness with life, and comfort from my caring family
From the outside
Just another robot
Going through the motions
Stuck behind this curtain
Afraid to pull it back
I take a look around
At all the other robots
Going through the motions
Child upon the horse
Horse runs strong with a spirit
He sees through the lies
Spirit brings life to the girl
Something won't let me open up.
Maybe it's the looks of judgement from others that are really looks of envy.
"How was your day?"
"Okay."
Because "okay" is
Less of a lie
Than "Good" or even
"Fine."
O
K
A
Y.
Each letter is thick,
Another layer between
Me and the world.
My shoes squeak, my hair rustles, and my eyes wander. But I am neither heard, felt, nor seen.
Students with satisfied smiles and amused eyes scramble before me, hustling to their next class.
When you grow up believing
that nice is the way to go,
you forget that emotions,
and thoughts
I'm letting you in. That is what you wanted right? To see the real me... to see me when I take society mask off at my door. and place it next to my keys... because you know I am me when I am alone...
Traveling slowly through the thickness of Time
As others gallop, trot, amble and stand still with it,
Time pulls me back, embracing me in every
dull, dank, drastic memory that is withheld,
Once there was a man who left
and his little girl was sad
she cut her wrists and bleed for him
as she wished to call him, dad
there was an incident that spurred the path
the family was split
Ooh, Ooh, For you I had a change of heart, Don't know where to start, What I'm about to say may surprise you, But now I see it clear Life ain’t always fair, What can you do, When you don't wanna hurt him, Cuz you don't deserve him, And there's no
Mirror girl, mirror girl
Always in the back row
Of the room or the bus or the chapel
If I draw aside, draw aside the curtain
Would I see you?
Find you in your hiding place
Your hiding place
Everyday, every minute I hide behind the curtain.
I mask my eyes with glasses
to hide the emotions.
I paint the mask on my face
to cover the spots.
I put on clothes to hide my body
I've learned to see my vices as my virtues.
It prevents me from conforming to living the status quo.
My brutal honesty is not liked by many,
Hello and goodbye
the same each day
waiting for something new
something different
a sign that life can get better
I'll smile at you
but inside I'm screaming
I'm not fine
What exists beneath my curtain
What exists beneath the wall, the shield, the barricade
What extists beneath this bright smile
Beneath this laugh that lights up the world
What exists beneath my protection
Do I fancy myself as more of a Marvell
when I watch her delicate hands search
for the rubies in her mind’s Ganges?
People think her cold
People think her bitter
People think her strange
People think her just like them
People think her cruel
No potential. Loser. Ugh, what a drama queen.
These words are released, fatal as missiles.
They aren’t meant for me, at least none that can be seen.
The launchers have previously accepted my denials.
Once upon a time
Innocence existed
Love caused clarity
Kindness was a personal trait
Magic fulflled our everyday desires
And knights in shining armor slayed dragons
People often wonder,
About the quiet girl sitting in the corner,
Who hides her face behind a book,
As she laughs something,
But little do they know,
She’s laughing at them.
Gaze into my stormy, cloudy eyes
And you will see that I am crying
The tears of loss
Sitting behind the curtain of lashes
Trapped behind a perfect facade
Of happy smiles
That girl people see walking down the hallway in school. Do they know that she is me and I am her? Crazy it might seem to some that she is a part of me. That crazy and loud girl who somehow manages to get staright As in all her classes.
If you knew the person behind the curtain,
You would know the real me.
If you knew the person behind the curtain,
You may not be so wiling to share.
The person you see is open-minded.
My life is ridden,with lies hiddenof a dark past belowthe pain I bestowkeeps me below.My identity is lost,I want to find it at any cost,my life is riddenwith lies hidden,
I am an enigma.
I am a realist, a perfectionist, a bold social stigma
Disapproved for my disapproval of the social norms
Often found within the most social forms.
People gather to talk about the status quo,
This face is not merely cheek bones, and a pretty smile
This face holds a mind whose knowledge runs for miles
This face is much more than the impressions of time
This face holds the eyes that have witnessed the climb
What do you look like? Where are you?
How do I know it's you? Did I do it right?
When do I show you off? Who do I show you off to?
What's the reason for all this madness
All these pensive thoughts
And there's no reason for this sadness
I feel as if the world is turning in my thoughts and my brain is the axis
I’m the type of womanWho wants to be lovedYet, turns away the friendWho would surrender everything.I’m the type of woman
