'2015 Slam for Suicide Awareness and Prevention'
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I still miss you, you know.
I miss
The way you smiled at me
In the hallways before school
Without a reason.
Everyone else
walked by
With their heads down;
Hello butterfly,
What's brought you here to me?
It must have been my emptiness,
For I'm alone, you see.
I live my days in darkness,
You were my sunrise,Your light shone brighter and sharper than the pain you left inI sought you at the end of the darkness;I followed you through the nightBut now, daylight never reaches the horizonYour smiled gleamed, your touch sparkedBut now yo
Suicide is a scary word
But not as risky as losing her
Who she grew up to become, nobody knew
For the job she wore was already through
August 31st, 2016I was diagnosed with PTSD.Because my father drank a bit too muchAnd took his anger out on my sister and me. Most of my life I've had depression,And I don't think people realize what it actually feels like.It's a part weight weighi
Some people say jump, some say stay
jump or stay
jump or stay
jump or stay...
You can let what they define you, and jump
Or...
Ah the sweetness of vitality,Most never experience it in reality.They've always had it to taste,Thus never finding the truth, a waste.But behold a few find it lost,Without it, no sweetness, a great cost. There is only bitter residue,Happiness, onc
At age seven, she saw she didn't belong,
she didn't look like the other girls
"It's okay", she would say,
her glow-up would be soon.
At age twelve, she tried make-up to hide the imperfections.
1. Get up,
Mom will ask if something is wrong if you dont.
2. Smile when she drops you off at school,
she loves it, just try to please her one last time.
3. Act normal,
The secret is hidden within the rose burried in the garden of thorns
for if you try to rech me beware you wlle torn
and in your dreams I shall awake a mist of golden rays
Left alone , all aloneyet the house is full she faked her smile because with eher xeprience she believedthe world was cruel ever
We are the medicated souls,
too much morphine,
too much pain,
to take away.
We are the medicated souls.
No one can stand to hear our screams
even when they say to not be silent.
You say that no one would care if you were goneOr that they might even be happier with you goneBut have you realized what would happen if you actually left?
When you're young and naive
You see all these beautiful things
And you want to believe
That you are beautiful too.
When you are young and kind
You see the lost souls
And can't leave them behind.
Murky and cloudedIs the state of my beingHeld at the bottomAway from clear thinking
These shackles and weightsConfine me belowTo watch dance to surfaceThe air that I blow
The silence was stifling
staccato sobs through a static filter
it was unthinkable
my mind like cogs
grinding to a halt
i was speechless, my voice
failing me
what was i supposed to do
At the latest hour, in the darkest night is where my thoughts wander each night.
Sleep has not yet come, the nightmares have not yet begun but I cannot wake from a nightmare when I am living in one.
My depression is my blood
A dark substance flowing through my veins
It's killing me though
Dragging me into a dark abyss of death
Feeding on my pain and sadness
Slowly killing me
Tick Tock... off goes my clock
Wake up, send a text....want to get a bagel?
Tick, tock...text me back already,
Yes, but your're paying.
Please
Deep feelings of sorrow
long, lonley nights
Overcome
with the weight of my thoughts
Stop
Has anyone noticed?
I'm drowning myself in a pool of sadness
I've written the notes and made the attempts
Took trips to the psych ward and was admitted
I've sneaked out the house and walked to the bridge
But when i arrived i wanted to live
Tears splash
Mixing with my blood
Both dripping down
As I slip away from love
Yet no one even cares
No concern just a shrug
Abused my trust
I feel so crushed
Dear me me with eyes full of tears Dear me with the heart full of fears Dear me with the want to disappear Dear me I know it's been years And you feel that nothing's changed but look at you you're here Remember I wrote this letter for you wanting
I feel so alone
There may be many people
But that doesn't matter
Sometimes I'm alone
And want to be around people
But at the same time I don't
I don't tell any of my friends
we heave our last goodbye off chapped lips and this is played off as glamorous by our maintream media.
This is not okay.
It is not okay that people don’t know how to cope.
It is not okay that the only way they find relief is by using a rope.
The pain of waking up everyday
With the same face staring you in the eyes
The same dead glaze that says
There’s no hope in fighting the pain that lies
And you know deep down
I know your sick of it
and in your mind your cussing out everybody
that keeps trying to pull you out of your hole
Dark clouds do not creep up at night,
Instead graze our minds when the sun does shine
And the thoughts impale us with softened blades,
Though our smile rivals the daylight,
If pried and smeared away with time,
They whisper loud
They whisper proud
They know I hear,
....
They know i hear them loud and clear
It's the words they say
These words they say they ruin every day
I beg and pray
For the beaten and the broken down
Who never seem to get around
who's skyies are always filled with grey
who's troubles sworm them through the day
Your strength is not gone like Samson and Delilah
I see you standing at my door
telling me that my time is almost up
The coldness of your presence fills the room,
as if I'm lying on the snow
What is this your making me feel?
I try to run away from you,
Robin Williams was one with a heart-warming smile
A comedian, an actor, a warrior
Robin Williams was my supermodel
He was my hero
The only one who could make me smile
God will hold us together
Love will help us remember
Life is what you make it
So I beg u don't take it for granted
God made us to be in his likeness
So We should strive to achieve greatness
I can’t remember my first words to you,
But I can’t forget all the things I wanted to say.
I can’t remember what you were wearing that day in April,
But I can’t forget the way you smiled the whole night.
With my scarred arms,
And bruised legs.
My cold fingers,
My dying heart.
Have you noticed?
Do you care?
Do I matter?
Dying.
I'm falling,
Falling, Dying.
I'm affraid.
The girl in black heels sat alone,
left inside her own broken home.
The girl in black heels felt no fear,
no love, no pain, and no sense of way.
The girl in black heels sat in a laundry mat,
Before you open your mouth to spit hateful words,why don't you take a glance at whose around you.
It's agony to let the world see you so exposed; rotting from the inside out; hollow; decomposed.To you I must seem crazy, with all understanding outta sight; you think the scars along my arms were simply done in spite.Crimson is the color that dee
Here is my response to the suicide letter I wrote 15 years ago: Breathe. Your pain will not remain unnoticed. Flush the pills. Dump the vodka. Throw away the razors.
Memories are past tense
I will not accept that
Even today
I mattered as a person
I impacted your life
Yes, you impacted me
My screams were a muffled whisper
My nightly tears – unseen.
My parents were not worried,
Because, “She’s just a normal teen.”
No one cared to listen
So nightly my wrists bled
The air is hard to breathe. Nights are too long and the days are too bright. It is hard to see the world as others
I see you crying, I hope you're okay
Why do you have a boo boo?
You've been home all day.
Doesn't that hurt? Why are you bleeding?
I can't help but wonder is there something you're needing?
Do you wanna know what I absolutely hate about you? Not dislike, nor envy, but hate about you? When you have bumps in life like a car that hits a pot hole, you shutdown, but why?
They told me to cut my wrist
They told me to double knot
But every time I pick up the blade
Or tie the rope
Stop!
He says the pain will go away
Not to take my life
Wonders. That is all we are. Constantly wondering to something new, something wonderful, something different. Something that is not us. We use things to distract us, music, writing, the tapping of a pen, but I cannot distract myself.
You whisper venom in his ear,"Do it.It will be better. Do you hear?"Which instilled in me a terrible paralyzation.And when he induced his own demise,You reveled in my tears and cries,
It starts at a young age.
no one is too young for heartbreaks,
maybe a loss of some sort or their mom and dad stays in court
So they try and find a conclusion,A race in the mind of delusion
The South Scenic Call
It’s morbid
To give it a name;
Such a pretty name.
A name that rolls easily
Cold.My hands clenched, gently,hoping that yours were still holding mine.But I knew you were gone once my own fingertipsp
I.
I know a boy with an everlasting forest in his hair,and eyes so bright they outshine the stars.and a soul so beautiful and worthy,it makes mine bow to even just the thought of it
II.
I'm the best at crying
I do it everyday
I do it all alone
So no one sees my face
I hide all of my pain
I know that it's not right
And even though I know this
I'll still do it tonight
Can’t you feel it
The creeping under your skin
That impending fear
The lurking of doom
The need to do…
No,
A couple years ago
A girl asked me why I didn’t wear makeup
And when I shrugged and said I didn’t like it
She told me that I should at least use concealer
At least just for pictures
When you look into her eyes,
and know she doesn't love you the same,
You are looking at me.
At a funeral,
When you suck in a breath of poisoned air,
One that reeks of decay,
September 24, 2015
I was so depressed.
I thought my mom was angry
About the pictures.
She didn’t understand
I didn’t want to send them.
I wanted the pain in my heart to end.
The day was August 11th, 2014. It was nearly noon. A great man sat in his bedroom, trapped by a cloud of darkness, looking for a way out.
