mourning

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autumn reflectionswrinkled leaves wrinkled facesmourning dead leaves....Mark Toney © 2021.9/25/2021 - Poetry form: Haiku (for you)
To be worth a lifetime Such a beautiful lifetime, infact never in this lifetime will I allow love to take my soul and darken my eyesight,
When I think of inspiration I think of you. The ways you’d play the flute while in need of a lung transplant, I haven’t got a clue. How you’d smile and wheel your oxygen while I carried your books. 
It's midnight and I can't sleep Again I'd like to think you're still here Still roaming down the hall searching for what you'd lost while you were breathing
When we assembleTo rememberThe days of joymoments of sorrowWhat should we talk aboutThe fortieth of timeOf freedomOf relationshipsOf broken heartsOf separated lovers
Mourning from or suffering with, The dreadful time continues, Close your eyes to look within, A sea of anguish rising high, Weeks and months drowned in terror, The vicious affliction never ending,
Longing is such an apt word. The physical space between us is now uncomfortably far. Your presence is the early morning fog on a cool fall morning;
It was upon those rocky shores On top of the craggy rock Overlooking the tumultuous shore Of water rushing onto the sand And swiping at the blood there
I do not understand Why he sabotaged me so consummately, And made me look like  Such a pathetic old patsy,   Could he not discern the misery He was shoring up by degrees,
So to say, your words clatter like thunderSpellbound, my thoughts cannot gatherSwept up in the cresting tideDisplaced by another of likemind
Step one: stay in your room alone, smash your phone against the wall so glass rain coats everything. Swallow darkness like handfuls of pills, or swallow darkness and handfuls of pills, let it boil in your throat so no color comes out.
Let the aroma, the sweet intoxication, of the lilies take you away. Their white petals, beckoning, follow them
Your eagle stands proud, Crowing over these brown rubies sprawled. But my boy's in a shroud   Everyone has bowed, Neglecting their duties while their wounds remained raw. Your eagle stands proud.
My name is a tombstone rubbing,I am dead and rotten,Flesh and coffin long forgotten,To roam the world underneath,In rubble, stone, and compost heaps,Lay not lilies at my feet,For I am no longer there
Death pervades my waking sleep,Icy wrathful breath of mildew and moss,Corrupting the images of light and love,Memories fleeting dreams,Rustles in the predawn curtains,Faint presence of something there,
I celebrate myself as I mourn myself. For days I cried, for days I wandered, lost. For days I was afraid, so afraid. So lost. So lost.  For days I rejoiced, life was so good.
Hickory, dickory, dock. Three mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one, and down two run, mourning the terrible loss.
Remember when I was born? Remember when we went to Las Vegas? Remember when we went to Chicago,
Dear Gabi, Last night I had a dream that you were alive That you had tried to jump out of your window, maybe to fly And I sat by your side because you didn’t die.  
Pain. It wells up and chokes you, And you can’t breathe. When your heart tightens, And it might burst. When you lie awake, And you can’t stop thinking. When you’re wracked with sobs,
Death brings sadness Obviously Funerals bring family Obviously The body in the casket brings tears Obviously  
Dear lost lover,   I miss you in the morning. My coffee doesn’t taste right without the hint of your laugh that you used to add to it. The birds don’t sound as good as they used to without
My dear old friend, It’s been a long time. Since my fall to madness, I never meant it, You know that. You know me! Right?
Oh what a fog I glimpsed today; in a peculiar way, it steamily lay. It seemed to say “hello”  and “hey” and depraved the morning day of its fresh ache, suspending heartbreak
Dear twin sister,  
Let me paint you a pictureI’m sitting on the edge of a cliffmy feet are hanging offand my hands are placed on the edgeone on each side.There is a nothing holding me backfrom shoving myself off this cliff
Tick tock, The world clock tolls, Chiming its mournful melody, For those lost in sea.   Tick tock, The world clock tolls,
I thought I had more time They told me I was lucky I had known you were fading But that's just it I didn't The doctors had said before "This is the end" But you never quit
In the stories, Funerals are on dark and dreary days, Full of falling rain and fraught with cold. Or, They’re too pretty,
I stand on the corner of Canfield and Clarion. I search for a familiar car to drive me away. It is cold; there is no car in sight, And the wind cuts deep into my soul.
Here in a room, with a glass full of liquor. And crushed to know, I desperately do need her. Standing there, staring right towards a mirror. Feeling helpless, like a tragic bum filled with anger.  
A year ago, my mom was diagnosed with cancer for the second time.A year ago, I found out I was moving from North Carolina to Illinois.  
The impossible has happened and now I am impossibly numb. The bitter sting of an empty core, I wanted more. More warmth more sun, more love, hope. And I want more still.
Up on the hill in Deer Island Park, a sicamore is felled.    no one attends it's funeral, or wears a black veil in it's honour.  a man used to sleep under that tree, a woman took her children there for picnics. 
I heard the news. I cried for weeks.   How am I ever going to come to terms with not having you in my life anymore?    Your smile, your laugh, your prescence. It filled the room whenever you were near.  
Losing you felt like my heart was ripped out my chest, I cried for many days all those sleepless nights, constantly trying my best, to stay strong and fight. Wishing you never left, wanting to bring you back,
Wasn’t it just night outside? I can feel the sun. Somehow I find myself again splayed on the couch SVU still muted on the screen.         Every morning starts like this, in blurred disarray
It's been Two years Two years since your world Has fallen apart   You think you've moved on That the nebula that has collapsed in on itself has finally stopped  Haunting your memories
I missed you today   I sang a song that reminded me of sitting across from your atrophic mind, Telling you truths in a way that kept it off the pain long enough for you to rest your weary eyes
She's dead and I'm gonna die And this will all come to nothing, because I don't do things half way This won't end peacefully I might smile as I burn the things that I have to get rid of
Kind. Solid. Steadfast.Fatherly."God loves you, Erin, and I do too."I listenedAnd I love.And when we parted,I missed him, and couldn't Wait a year to hear him.I found an address
I see the earth cleaved in two, The tides drive away, Sweet angels mourning, As night befalls decay. The crash implores the heavy sighs Of men dying for a breath, Signalling the final song
Maybe it was the way she took care of me with love, as if I would break Maybe it was the way she would tend my clothes with such willingness, allthough being sick
The darkened pall of misery has come, The blade of death has fallen once again, Upon the neck of youth and happiness,
My mother came to visit me todayAn hour and a half she would stayShe told me I was beautifulReminded me I was specialAnd so I wrote her a letterFor the things I should of said better
As the days pass, each one harder than the last,  Not a single day passes, in which my mind relaxes, You're running through it all day, my throat still clenches, before every word I say.
Now that you're gone, I sit here and wait, You've been away too long, I'm still expecting to hear you come in late.   In the middle of the night, you tend to cross my mind,
The wind on her face   The slight retrace; of what once was.   The warmth of his cheek   The breeze of the air; forever there  
Once, and forever after, a Wat
And when the tears come rushing out They find their way down to the ground Upon the tombstone you’ll forever lay If only you were able to stay   Within the cycle of life Soul filled with mourn
My heart beats out your name
BEAUTIFUL Life is a BEAUTIFUL place So BEAUTIFUL that it shouldn’t be taken away
Your eyes used to be so bright They looked straight forward Unnerving but more alive than all those around you, They used to look so colorful and awake   What changed you?   Was it the people?
The morn is still The sun drags on, weary across the brightening sky. Elsewhere, the harsh cock crow Can be heard from the ruby chanticleer.   A boy's face is still and calm
Rose soft petals, Gently blowin' in the wind, Whirling around my legs, Pulling me forward into the end...   I walk softly and gracefully, Leaving my heart to follow, The wind caressing my hair,
The clergy plays their swan song You cry out it's all wrong No one notices over their song Leather skin the casket holds The corpse didn't even get to see twelve years old
Can you save me, 
HOOK: How would you feel if I went away? How would you feel I went today? Would you still love me? Would you remember me?   VERSE: This is a story about Trevor. He was 13 and lived with his mother.
I could feel her soul fading, her temperature dropping, and her heart beating one last beat. 
Looking thru you to  tomorrows i didn’t even know existed -
The gold c
I sit in a solid room You’re floating in a tomb.   Here I go again, distant from my present, Traveling to a ‘passive’ torment. It’s an unwritten taboo to mourn, for too long for someone,
You asked me how I knew I loved you, The words could barely leave my mouth. I tried to write it, I couldn’t. There was no ink, I could not do that to you, You deserve to know the reason,
Sunlight shines through flowing drapes spreading alabaster swords in all directions. They stab at flooring and my semi-paralyzed body, seeking to fill holes as if pain
A Life Never Lived I hear them quarrel About my life So cold and immorel Words like a knife   The truth is ungloved
First, you lost your mind  and I tried to help you but you were already  gone.   Next, you lost your voice there was nothing to do but watch you.  
A kiss so sweet A smile so bright She leaned over to me and whispered, "Good night" Little did I know that this was her last Litttle did I know about that crash She's still in my dreams
Stop the silent killing, everyday thousands are dead. Mass genocide, no one even cares. Spirits are unsettled, lying in purgatory. Some mothers are left unwell, others take it as "oh well".
   I was...BEATENBATTERED
The sky was painted Like stained glass As I sat in the backseat Of my father’s car I watched my darkened surroundings Gradually brighten and reveal The familiar landscape
The Cold on my feet As I walk to your fate...
Would you do it? Kill a friend? If you killed a child, Would it end? An elderly man Wheelchair bound, Would you knock him To the ground? What of a dog Battered and beaten?
A single breath, a single tear Rolling down my cheek A hollow feeling, a hollow life Leading me to my death  
  “Did you hear? Nothing else matters right now. I don’t care who is looking.”   He nods his head and I can’t help but fall apart. I don’t even try to talk, because a my throat swells in sorrow
RIP 1921-2013 Though my body, broken and batteredHas long since faded away,My mind and soul and heartAre vivid and shall not decay. Though my bones may moan in protestOr my limbs cry out in pain,My spirit is as young as ever,For never shall I wane
A line, a queue, is distance ‘tween two points. While the future end of ours did not change, It grew back where we stepped in, human joints. Two hundred souls we saw within our range.  
Twist and turn, My body will yearn. Your presence is always near Don't tell me you are not here.   So open your mind and dive into the shallow waters of your heart You'll create a sort of dark-art
Listening to the music, While tears stream down my face; Is just another day. I tell myself that tomorrow will be better? But I know the truth. Nothing will change. Who was I kidding?
  You were here just yesterday, But in a split second you were taken right before my eyes. Nothing has been the same.
 Grasping at shadows. Reaching for Ghosts. Searching for figures along the coast. Looking for something real, something to hold onto. A single shred of proof that I am not alone.
Death is there waiting. Fuck you, why did she leave me? I miss you grandma. 
I lie in bed at night Thinking of what might have been.  I dream of white gowns and blue flowers. Imagning all the whens.    But the whens never come because the ifs happened instead.
I have to re learn to write because my words got knocked out of my mouth my teeth they no longer speak They harbor mice and those mice  carry my teeth in their bellies
The trees are budding and all is brand new. Yet the sorrow I'm feeling is so strong. I wonder around my thoughts just of you. Hoping this feeling won't last very long.  
Praying for sleep after a warm bath, lavender tea, chocolate jelly beans, things meant to dull pain. My hair is sopping, bleeding into my pillow the pillow with the little angels on it. Fitting.
All this pain has comeSo your will be doneOh how I acheAnd my heart does break
fingers run down your coat. a hand strokes your side. you retain nothing. where’s the love I once felt pouring from your skin? you aren’t absorbing the love I’m rubbing to your bone. move, baby, look at me.
It doesn't seem like much, but it's been a lot. I've seen you a million moments, but it doesn't seem so true. Ijust wish for one more moment with you. Amillion goes by so fast,
The children, their smiles and joy, a girl of twelve and one little boy. They swing high, they laugh, they play, they spin around the rustic merry-go-round, but the monkey bars they keep at bay.
Falling horizontalnow parallel with the A.M., dew drop, grassshovel on the blanketsof hearty, wholesomeearth.
The beauty of dawn, the beauty of day, Like my love, washed away. The beauty of dusk, the beauty of night, Like my love, gone from sight. Like Homer's heroes, like Vigil's men,
Spreading onwards for miles under heavenly blue skiesTall, majestic trees and endless, emerald grassDelightedly accentuated with graceful flowersVibrant beryls, vivacious browns, vivid orbs of beauty
There are people who find solace in deathI find the angel's path sodden, indifferentThere are those who yearning to lose their breathBut stop themselves with the lord being reverent
Honestly, It doesn't really seem like it's been four-years Even If I cried I wouldn't know If I had any more-tears The only thing I want in this world only is just you-here
you used toshine your smile mendsthe folds of myheart forever a kiss on mycheek your voice wrapsme your laughever so sadever so lovely
Say morbid things They’re black silk Fill us with them The cold began to get to us Sucking stubble
Perfect white - clouds rolling like hills under A sky pale blue like his eyes: sightless, remembering. Staring through a glass oval, indented deep
You weren't perfect I'm not either But we made each other smile We made the time count Now it's all gone No more you No more us So I just sit here Writing poem after poem
(poems go here) Wish Heaven had a phone so I could hear your voice again. I thought of you today, but that is absolutely nothing new. I thought about you yesterday, and day before that too.
Today is the day we remember our people who lost their lives in the twin towers. The day that New York cried flaming tears… That caused more pain than they released.
Our neighbors, being our neighbors put him in a cardboard box by the barn so on coming home I would not, running to his corpse, collapse and cry there by the road. What care did you have, my little Summer
Because I did not die, I mourn. And I realized Heaven does not discriminate age. Three times, I held his hand. Watched him slip. And three times the gun-men fired.
yellow was the color of innocence the color of our freshman year it was the shade of the v-neck you bought at forever 21, on our trip to the mall yellow, the color of the cheesecake we shared for mary’s birthday
Tears fall like rain on a deathly still face, There’s no hope for her now, she’s in a much better place: A place with no sorrow, a place with no pain Still they clench her hand tighter, scream “Wake up!” in vain,
Dying on the inside Every day, I feel the trail of blood Moving down my face The agony, I can imagine Our hearts I know were just the same Our eyes two of a kind Souls entwined
Do not douse the fire that you ignite; The smallest spark will tie these tattered frays. Keep pushing forward with a stronger fight.
Some say that time heals most, But the truth is, it makes it worse. When they're gone they leave you bleading; A part of you leaving. Forever Sometimes there is a stitch to help it,
if darkness is night and morning is light ill take all the dark  and bring You to My light if spirits fly and bodies weep ill give Your body strength to sleep if wills do bend and bleed and break 
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