I missed you today

 

I sang a song that reminded me of sitting across from your atrophic mind,

Telling you truths in a way that kept it off the pain long enough for you to rest your weary eyes

In a way that gave you the strength to hold on

Or let go

 

I missed you today

 

I repeated the same words from years ago, picturing myself back in that room, pictured that you were my only audience

You can count on me

 

But how am I supposed to count on someone I can no longer feel?

How can I count on your strong hands to reach toward me and pull me up when I fall?

 

I missed you today

 

Two days ago you would have been 82

Should have been 82

Could have been 82 but God decided he needed you more than I do

He’ll probably smite me for saying he was wrong

He was so fucking wrong and I can’t take it

I try to go on just fine but it hurts god it hurts especially for some reason today

 

I missed you today