toxic

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The one that comes after you will be trustworthy He will be honest with me But I won’t believe him because I won’t understand it  
So a thunderstorm A really ugly fight Four days of not talking Maybe just another break But we know that a break isn’t a break
Adrenaline boiling in my veins like hot molten hot lava or acid rain. Once the seasons change and the heart heals, nothing will ever be the same.
How do I believe that or whole relationship was fake? An act to get close to me, never give, only take. I’ve done the research, such much sounds shockingly familiar. Words described you to a tee, seems clear, yet unclear.
There is a sickness within Us, that gained control of Us. Took the lives of the best of Us, introducing Us to the worse in Us, destroying the trust we had between Us.
How, why, what, is this real, for real. This wasnt apart of the deal. For you I would rob, steal, even kill at will. I want to get off this ride, going in circles like a ferris wheel.
I've lost my position as Queen at the throne. My king, my life, my home, all slipping away, gone. Your loss, due to the fuck shit you be on. Soon I will sit in emptiness, be isolated and alone.
All the expectations and love for you Shattered and annihilated in a moment or two Building the castles in air, I was Pursuing you, was my biggest loss Deep in your self, I have lost mine
i lie awake at nightstaring at the ceilingasking myselfjust what exactly is this feeling?
There are hours of the night when time stands still. Most of these hours lead to the gray light of dawn, the sudden realization that a new day has come to wear still more on my patience.
I would rather hate you then love the idea of you. That's the world I've been inhabiting for the last few months. My stream has emptied into the sea of your emotions, and I am tossed around in the malestrom of your moods.
I take drugs to feel good, boy.You lie like a liar should, boy.I don't trust, but who would, boy,after all I've been through?
Oh my Love how it is you try & do love me how you get & desire to be so close Oh my Love how that desire will get you crushed
Can we pick up these memories after they've fallen to the floor, can they be placed back on the shelves just like they were? you hate to see the scuff marks but I think it gives it character-
it’s okay to talk about things it’s okay to speak i’m begging you to wear your heart  on your sleeve and your tongue
it’s easy to be lonely in the lights of this city wondering why you can never look me in the eyes when you tell me that im pretty  
“i never knew a mind could be so dark” well i, i have never known a mind so light flower petal eyelashes flower garden you growth sprouting from your palms
the white of my body more snow than skin ice cold to the touch i know you think i’ll thaw   this ice age has no end my fire stopped burning
do you remember the fireworks back then when we hid behind purple walls praying they wouldn’t see the clouds of lavender smoke that our passion
i drink to forget so many things i drink to forget what you look like what he looks like what the inside of his car looked like
i’m all alone in this glass house Swallowing jack under a pink sky there’s blood on the driveway keeping a knife in the pocket of my jeans
i’m all alone in this glass house Swallowing jack under a pink sky there’s blood on the driveway keeping a knife in the pocket of my jeans
You took my paper-mache heart all fixed up with glue, And showered it in your great tears of rue, The tears, the tears became fountains of blue, They puddled and puddled and slowly grew,
I am not going to write about you. I am not going to write about him. I am not going to write about it. I am not going to write about me. I want to write about the world. I want to write about changes.
Jinx knew she was in trouble when she saw his name flash across her screen. He, the almightly nail-painter, combat-boot-wearer, bipolar feelings-fucker, he needed her. I mean, she was assuming that's what this was about.
Cause things got so much harder on the west coast. When i moved here i realised i needed you most. One week i had a lover, the next, a ghost.
he could grip his hands around my throar, and push down until oxgen was nothing, but a far away dream, and still all he would have to do is say its this, or you'll never feel my lips again
In my dreams, I run my long, thin fingers through your caramel colored hair.  The prettiest shade there is. And, I laugh because my words come out perfectly. They come out so perfect that my tongue rolls and words slip.
You hold my hands Wrap the gauze around my bruised knuckles, Whisper me pieces of words For my mind to create Into stained-glass portraits.
I remember the day you left like it was yesterday.   It played in my mind on repeat Like some malfunctioning CD
She didn't deserve to hurt  She didn't deserve all the pain she felt from  Friends, Family, Teachers She didn't deserve to be tormented and ostricized  Because of some scars on her arms 
i used to try on my father’s clothes his attire never seemed to fit me, in his eyes anyway. i felt the emptiness in his work shirt, envying how it compared to my shoes. leather and sole,
I was wrong; I didn't fall in love with you. I jumped.   ~awatr
She painted her face the way she painted her body, To cover the pain and tears he left behind.   ~awatr
She didn’t know, What would happen, when he came to her life She wasn’t aware That she slowly changed, to another person for him  
From all the chaos outside.. I seek peace inside.. For all the judgement mongers.. I leave you there and here I slumber.. For all the negativity around.. I put on a positive sound..
A pack of bulls charge Toward a big red curtain. They fall from a cliff.
I open my mind's lid like the drawer of a filing cabinet. It is the place where thoughts, dreams, and memories thrive. Letters of knowledge organized just like books in a library.
You've always compared me to a rose and I never quite understood why. Is it because I'm pretty? Or is it because I have thorns? Is it because, if you get too close you'll hurt yourself?
Dancing on the floor Singing cheerful songs The world rotates for each movement that is made Stained in vibrant hue are the lights that illuminate the room
Stare into the outside Neon lights and street signs She holds me It’s gonna be alright She said, but she fades Moonlight turns away
    I went on the Internet to find Tumblr,    I swear I've heard of this from somewhere.    I surfed through blogs 'n posts,   nothing about Space Ghost.      All I just found was:
What is that look when you see me in public? You give me this look of loathing Chills me to the bone. What is that look when you see me in private?
What is the boundary of freedom? Whatever you discribe it as- it never fits its definition. For we know no freedom. Only the lack of. No matter your location, we all have the same amount of freedom-
  Hey, what’s your name? I’m so charming, i’ll leave a bad taste in your mouth. But don’t put me to blame. I’m the perfect fit for you.
Peer pressure something everyone deals with... right? But in some ways, it was more drastic for me... Does it make you feel better getting a look at my bare skin? Soft, smooth with many insecurities.
Him
Him. I imagined him.  He held me. How nice it was. His kiss was power. His flaws belonged to me. His losses drained me. I lost a part of who I was. I became cold and rigid. I began to doubt.
Meeting eyes with you was like staring at a picture that has been hung in the living room my whole life. You were so familiar, yet you never failed to catch my attention.  
  Instead of giving me a necklace Made up of his hands   We sit in his Grand Cherokee And listen to our favorite bands  
Dear Adrian, Yet again you have taken my thoughts and left me with nothing but you. You have corrupted me with your intrusion but blessed me with your presence.
Dear Lover,  I am not a puppy or a little plaything you can choose because you think I am cute,  I am not a creature you can punish for not behaving how you would like me to,
We had no plans and began to drive Into the small town that had tried to hide   From a paper map, hung on the wall it would seem to be fields that only stretch on  
love is just not my thing.  maybe it never was. And never will be.
It was your toxic love that made me grow It was your toxic love that showed me the warmth hidden in winter And the chills from the summer It was your toxic love that made my tears break free  And your empty words 
Acting okay. Asking for forgiveness, Always pretending.   Broken heart. Bridges burnt. Baby, wait please.   Crying for hours. Cutting off everyone. Can you ever forgive me?
To you,                 You know who you are, so dare I write your name? Dare I continue writing? I dare because that is what you taught me to do.               “Dream on, dream big, never be subpar,”
Dear Jake,   My relationship with you was a plant, a flower, it bloomed like a rose.   Beautiful from afar, but if I got too close, held on a little too tight,
"you still kick it in the slums      ? you still sell drugs   ? you still like to party       ? you still binge n get fucked up      ?"  
Some days  I grow stronger and say ”I don’t need him” other days i grow weak  and wish to talk to him a monster of pure anger wants to somehow destroy him
indigestible being that was the lesson-- you had to leave they needed to  let you go even though you thought of youself as sweet remember, you too, were poison.  
Dear Sun, In the twilight of my days, nostalgia rolls over me in waves Admiring the past through rose-tinted lenses Overlooking that the past disappointed when I lived it
Today, my mother brought home my antidepressants, I've never been prescribed pills for my emotional state, I've self-medicated for years with magick and self-harm. Today, my mother brought me her diagnosis.  
I try to love you, But I can’t. I try to accept you, But it is impossible.   They’ve told me to caress you, But I only have blades. They’ve told me to take care of you,
Because I am not who you want me to beYou criticize, chastise, and punish meCurse me to the end of the Earth,And throw your religion in my face.  
List of Things You Do Not Understand:  
You gripped my chin with cold pallid fingers forced my mouth open and poured your poison inside of me. It traveled down my veins and you turned around with a frown on your face.
you insisted every masterpiece had a signituture as you relentlesely carved your name into my skin with blood running down your knuckles. "you're mine" may be music to the ears of a lover but there was nothing romantic about how prisoner
How can the one who makes my heart flutter Turn his table, and my whole world, in one FOUL swoop?  You make my stars shine,  but baby right now my heart is falling out of my chest; 
words grip me into a choking hold as i grasp for air from your overbearing love that tighten my vocal chords   i ask for you to leave
It consumes you and becomes what you are now. Love is when you hold me dearly to your chest. (You’d do so if you loved me as much as I do you).  
I'm sorry I woke you You used to say I could. You crossed your fingers, nodded your head, like I knew you always would. You whisper sweet words of decit, as you look into my eyes
It’s because I love you, That I would make you cry. And that’s why I’m your greatest ally.   It’s because I love you,
Drunk on old fashions, the wind takes a breath And exhales all his anger through golden Red leaves, falling to her pathetic wreath; Hands bleached like old Bluebeard's, he's stuck within  
Because I love you, I’ll be your mirror, reflecting that gorgeous light that you shine when you can’t see it. Because I love you,
Because I love you, I’ll be your mirror, reflecting that gorgeous light that you shine when you can’t see it. Because I love you,
Everyone says “Look for red flags”For the “Let me see your phone”For the “I told you not to talk to him”For the “I yell because I love you”
I'm another casualty to the weapon of love. The trigger pulled by joined hands. Claims of compassion suffocating my every breath, Nearly as strong as the words of manipulation. "You're my everything"
Loving you was like grasping oil Always treated you like you were royal Only to have you slip out of my fingertips.   Loving you had me inhaling flames Didn't know who to blame
Leaf falling down a tree A whole life attached to a native bough Clingstone to freestone, pinnate to palmate, Persistent untill the wind sets it free, Far from crown it goes now Hate's leaf scar on its state
Because I love you, I leave the lights on for you, Even when I know you won't come home.
I have so much love to give, but it's always been given out in wrong ways. It was always something so flawless until it changes, and then it slips away.
  At times you remind me of a glistening sunset and other times a raging storm, you drive me absolutely insane in the best and worst ways.
Nothing could break us apart. We'd been friends for ten years.   I never knew a friendship could hurt, but it did, more than anything.   Your words twisted in my head
i wish i could stop writing about you maybe one day i'll run out of words to say and my pen will run dry
Looking up,  
  GLACIERS Blue veins run up her fingersjust like those blue coalsthat run up her cigarettes   and like the glaciers that yearn to breakfree from one anotheralong the coast of some frozen country
I realize now that you are a toxin in my air That I love the way your fingers get caught in my hair That you are a gallery of art But you also hold a switchblade close to my heart Please don't scream because it's not over I was never good with tea
I must say that love is a disease it can bring us to our highest so fast but destroy us all with ease And after that, not even a second do we last
I am Exhausted. Sleepy to my Very core. Worn out. Hollow. Point or pointless? Friends: Pros and cons? Love, comfort, joy. Worry, pain, lies. Escape is easy,
  You were once so beautiful, We were once so close But this is not who i once loved And is instead a tortured ghost Just a shell that's been cracked And on the verge of perish
You are toxic You are poison to the people around you You are manipulative and twisted and sinister You do not feel You love with your mind, not your heart You are cold and calculating,
They are imbued in doubt  and therefore can never be certain Their hearts long in the past and therefore cannot embrace the present   Their fears are caged inside  and therefore will never be free
I am toxic. Everything I touch I kill, and not in a poetic murder 
When nobody's home
he's a man but really he's sarcasm lanky, underfed, patched whole with drugs. he scares away crows but he doesn't scare me. I'll pay for this later. but sunsets sitting in a haze of
In our world today
I've had it up to here with relationships gone south I can no longer stay, you're a toxic taste in my mouth If you put in for me all I had put in for you I wouldn't be here, I'd still love you too
The aquatic garden, when seen from space, is vast, mystical, and blue It has many unique, sea creatures living in it too Some burrow, some float, some dart from side to side
A sphere of life, constantly force fed From the world, into the womb Ignorance has polluted the innocence Gravid host poisons the unborn Toxins consumed, enter the abyss The truths have yet to be revealed
When one violin stands alone If it can’t play a chord, Then the string is plucked Until it breaks Snap
The room is always dim, aside from the fog of creeping cancer, and over-priced incense. It bounces, it swirls, among the sad lamps (barely holding on), seeps from under locked doors.
Tears turn on like a broken faucet, droplets splashing on my hands and in my hair. He hasn't come home yet. His absence is fresh in the minds of his loved ones and all left with almost no more emotions to bear.
Pretty little liar, in your pretty little attire, looking stressed and hot wired, we see through all your games.
You.... My toxic love drug you are My stronghold My foundation My everything What would I do without you? Your love is so unconditional and immaculately immaculate It drives me insane
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