Who You Want Me To Be
Because I am not who you want me to be
You criticize, chastise, and punish me
Curse me to the end of the Earth,
And throw your religion in my face.
Because I am not who you want me to be,
You invalidate every word that comes out of my mouth,
Insist my opinion never holds weight;
Erase who I am from your memories.
Because I am not who you want me to be,
You remember who I used to be,
And curse my name saying I am not the same.
That I was once stable and sane.
Because I am not who you want me to be,
You hand me lists of all my flaws every night.
Trying to get me to be more like who I used to be,
Or, maybe, more like you.
Because I am not who you want me to be,
You yell, you discipline, you cry
Sobs of “This not what I wanted for you,”
And cries saying, “I didn’t raise you this way.”
Because I am not who you want me to be,
You advise to stay alone and forget who I am
Remember who I was,
And ignore who I want to be.
Because I am not who you want me to be,
You ignore my pleas of “Listen to me,”
Dismiss my cries for help;
And erase my needs from your priorities.
Because I am not who you want me to be,
You lead me to believe I am worthless,
My life: hopeless, shattered
Destroyed before it even began
Because I am not who you want me to be,
You erased my self-worth
Fueled my hatred
Sparked my depression
Because I am not who you want me to be,
You hated me,
I hated myself.
Because I am not who you want me to be,
I no longer am.
I am only not.