HIV and Sexuality
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Silence was key,
So it unlocked a new fear,
I may have been 7, but always dreaded,
Whenever he was near,
He'd promise all good little girls got this,
I would nod yes, but felt he lied,
I remember it like it was yesterday
I had just joined college, in fact it was my first day
Beautiful, they were, prettier than flowers on a sunny day
I was in an Imaginary world, felt like the king of that day
addiction haiku
desires of the flesh
mock, mock, mock my resolve
choke my soul to death
lost in online ads
When you gone to overseas and I am home alone, by waiting for you come home.
I want to be with you,
But you are in foreign lands in far away.
Hi, I'm Sunshine.
I'm a perfectly normal person.
I love helping people,
I raise rabbits,
and I enjoy watching the Arizona Cardinals on Sundays with my dad.
I'm a perfectly normal person.
if i was her boyfriend
i’d invite her to stay
the night at my house
if she likes, she would say
“yes!”, we’d grab snacks
i would nervously rest
my head on her shoulder
o why did I wear a dress?
Silence;
was a man i once ‘loved’
he said he lived in the bath
that perhaps
if i held my head
below water
the lingering smell of your tears stain my cheeks,
lavender.
you held my angle like heart in your bloody hands,
lavender.
you told me it was okay to like girls,
the lingering smell of your tears stain my cheeks,
lavender.
you held my angle like heart in your bloody hands,
lavender.
you told me it was okay to like girls,
This is a confession, handcuffed, miranda righted confession
I killed a girl.
I killed a girl and I liked it but-
I hate to say that she never existed.
women of pride,women of town
tend to walk around
with their borrowed clothes
leaving their sick husbands in bed
exchanging men like clothes
yet they go back home with pride
dancing side by side
metronome heart
allegro to affrettando
pump
hair rises like furtive
ballerinas on strident
piano keys
dear my love,
everytime we are apart
i wish to relocate closer to your heart.
i love you so very much
and i tell you this everyday.
still, one day i wish to hold you closer
I first checked you out in school.
I don’t know what caught my eye
But it doesn’t matter because I was too shy
And let you pass by for the fear you were “too intellectual.”
Why is the look in their eyes always ill will
when I say I love the thrill
that I long for the chase
that I need that deep embrace
Who here would deny
that they don't too try
IMPROPERLY GIVEN!
{A SAD STORY}
Precious was a lady who was used to being given
she demanded clothes,
she was given,
she demanded money,
she was given,
she demanded love,
she was given,
I just want to be with you
I need my waist in your grip
Your hair between my fingers
My eyes entrapped by yours
Your breathe on my cheek
That one, hiding her true self, does she really think she's straight?
She thinks she can just wait for Mr. Right and then everything will be okay.
Little does she know that Ms. Right is waiting for the right moment,
Rubbing my face so roughly,
Hearing the flying fucks sharp so toughly,
Have me scream at them,
FIGHT ME!!
I cut my ear off for you,
Even though those eyes spin out of control,
Eyes dark. The Joker’s grin,bares yellow teeth.Hair,Looks as if rubbed chicken skin was rubbed upon itHunk? Not in the least.Beef cake, yeah, thats it.Nose,Takes up the entirety of the mess that is your face...But it works man,Somehow. I watch
My future is uncertain, I am unsure about if I am going to be able to go to Oklahoma Baptist University, because, I I need to submit my high school transcript, and IF I get in, I will have to enroll at the college.
Everybody wants it, we need it.
people cant live without it.
without it we cannot survive.
one can become famous with it.
Even God our father warns us to becareful with it.
It tears family apart,
Self loathing for feeling like a king
Inside a dream only meant for a kid
Not only does your sharp tongue sting
Emotions, aren’t toys,
but if you put them into some of the wrong hands
they can be played with.
That’s why you gotta keep your eyes open and be mindful that man
will fail you every time.
I used to think,Why should I even try?It’s hard when everyone around doesn’t see what going on inside your mind,They don’t see the pain, the hurt, or the struggle. At 3AM I lie awake, crying because of fear
They left us
Oceans stretch for miles
No food, no shelter
Only the clothes on my back
and something else
My sweetheart
I love him.
When we touch
My hair stands on end
The day I found out I was HIV positive
Was the day I felt closest to becoming a detective.
That is if I don’t count the clockwork liar that I make of my own memory everyday I take my big blue pill.
I am a dreamer. An achiever is what I am to be.
I will make the world see what I can be. One Day.
One day I will make the world see what I'm made of. One Day.
One day, I will show the world how to truly love. One Day.
The Words of a Faggot
Imagine a boy
Now imagine him tall and stocky
Just a little bit cocky
Think of him in a letterman jacket
ACT UP
because some people can't fight for themselves.
ACT UP
because silence equals death.
ACT UP
becasue many don't know it still out there.
You know I can hear you whispering
Did you expect me to care?
Guess what, it’s all true
The rumors about Shannon and I
In the school bathroom
What? Did you think I was ashamed?
What if she walked away from peer pressure and shame
What if she said NO to the drug game,
Unprotected sex, getting as high as she can,
She remembers that life is a memory she ran
I'm not perfect in your eyes,
But, My God, I'm trying.
Trying to be faithful,
Trying to be your friend,
Trying to be your rock,
Trying to be your voice,
Trying to be your everything,
My skin with yours
Your skin with mine
This lovely little
Pantomime
Heaving Breaths
Thirst for more
Take down the masks
That we once bore.
In the past,
My life is kind of hectic
Like a completed checklist
When I look back on my life I see that I have dropped some fine dimes
I grew up for 13 year's not knowing who i was.
i would look at the pictures i had online of me and see that i wouldnt smile.
the dark cloud of self confidence wayed on my shoulders,
So you found out
Well, how do you feel?
Me?
I feel vulnerable
Anxious
Confused
Judged
Hurt
Angry
Destroyed
This was a side of me that you weren't ready for
I wish I could've told my rapist I'm fucking dangerous
Maybe if I did I wouldn't be going through this bull shit
4 years of a child's life taken and slaughtered
A being in my heart,
You were always there from the start.
Never shall we be apart.
Me and the being in my heart.
We gaze up towards the coudy sky,
In agony, our life isa lie.
She Knows that she' Need And Wants to Be Accepted So She shows off her assets, grinding Twerking Seduceing The Dudes,but all they want to do is to gain but make her lose her virginity ,but it's her pride and dignity that she's forgetting, pounds
It’s like walking with no place to go.
It’s a hurting feeling to hold onto something that you need to bring to God.
It’s way more daunting than walking on coal.
Taking a trip through the French 25
to drinking Bourbon down the street
to rowing her boat on canal
but yet life ain't even a dream
for Easy Erica the sex fiend.
Born in the Big Easy
Best Friends. That was what we were at first. And sometimes I wished that’s all we were.
But it’s too late now.
You made me laugh like no one else could. You gave me butterflies like no one else would.
There once was a boy
Who had no toys.
He whined, pouted, cried and cried
until his momma buyed.
Money she recieved was because she was employed.
Standing in a hotel parking lot
Being gay in the United States is a tough situation. We are ridiculed for having a great sense of fashion. Anti-gay people say A.I.D.S. come from being a “gay” man; well I think they need to farther their education.
You neglect me
Because I won't give in.
But I just can't see me
Committing such sin.
At least not with you,
I just can't take the risk
I won't give in no time soon,
I have to stay like this.
The energy pouring out of you right now is surreal. Like I placed my finger gently in an outlet. My head thrown back. My mouth so dry. My eyes so wet. But I refuse to cry. Your fingers tremble graciously when you stroke my lips. But just as quickl
Brothers an sisters
fathers an mothers
please don't judge me now
for i didn't understand how my life would turn out
I've been a good girl a very good girl so far
Her favorite numbers are 9-1-1Her favorite words are,"NO,STOP...please"Her favorite position:begging on her kneesHis favorite numbers are 2-5-1-8
When I look at you, I see what it means to be alive.
Your presence is all-consuming.
I look to you because I simply cannot get enough and want yo see what you'll do next.
Their Eyes are on the Door (The Gay Scene)
Their eyes were on the door of clubs like Casablanca, where they wait to judge.
They clutter together like leaves stuck in a drain, old ways refusing to budge.
She averted her eyesAnd twiddled her thumbsAnd shifted her weightOnto her other foot.
And finally she told himAnd his eyes widenedAnd he threw a pillowAnd left the room.
Do you know what I mean when I say, "sexing your life away"?
Girls 13, 14, and 15 are quick to lay, not even knowing that they may regret it some day.
Your legs wrapped around my head,
Lying on your back, lying in bed.
Gently kissing your inner thighs,
Looking up, only, to see you sigh.
Don't stop, please keep going,
Its only a matter of time before I can get the time to see your face
Everyday I wake up and stay up until two in the morning
Thinking about all the times we had, wishing it would have lasted a moment longer
Diana was a girl, not much different than me.
Went to school, had a job but was a victim of the streets.She got high everyday on anything she could.
Trying hard all the time to get out the hood.
When you were a little girl your mother would always say
Just sit and wait; this will be your job someday
But you knew this was not the life for you
There were other things you were meant to do
It seems like the only thing on my mind is you
No matter how much I try forgetting you, all I do is think of you.
In the day time I see you
In my dreams I see you
"I love you more than you love me", that's what he said
Isn't it a realization love has no end?
Before the battle even started he began to run.
AIDS is real
I hate condoms
Oh yes I know we want to feel every side of it
HIV doesn’t seem real when you are having the best feeling in the world
You don’t think about AIDS when you pay visit to the vagina
Under water; Blue
Wet and cold; Love
Fishes and crabs; STD's
Let's take a walk with the monster; Crank
Jolts all over; Electricute
Late night affairs and glitter; Regret
Anger swells withinmy soul criesconfused, listening i jerk my chinin your dirention, no its all lies who told me all of thiscompassion washes overthese lies, traps provide me some blisswhere could i find that one special thing, my clover? was it a
I don't know whyI walked away that night
I guess some thingsyou just have to learnwithout thinking
I am bieng unhinged by myself. My mind thumbs each clever fringe, considers each miniscule membrane.
Tendrils uproot carefully, any suspicious tile. A consideration of values are levered down.
My bestfriend, he was
I could not understand why he was always made fun of
He was great to me,
But then we did evolve from the same family tree.
I loved hanging wit him, and his friends
My mamma always told me that, everything that glitters isn't gold
Isn't that the cold truth, though?
In a world full of desires, and lies
i dated a guy
sweet
funny
untill one day ...
he asked if could come over
okay i said
when we were alone
our lips touched
deeply falling into his trap
i stopped
NO
Hahahah you're hilarious!
You thought this note was about how
You broke some girl's heart!
Comedy gold.
This is coming from a place you shut off long ago.
He told that he loved me.
Really what he said was that he loved my writing.
I write because he can hear my voice so clearly when I am not able to speak.
Sex is messy business
When you're young like me
Quick clean-ups when you come
Make you never truly free
To make love when you choose
To lay where you lie
Just isn't possible
But we surely will try
Wait a minute....
Dont leave me here, alone in this place
Don't leave me lost and confused...
Don't make me admit this feeling,
I just want you near me
Nearer...Nearer...Nearer....STOP!!
right there...
Oh Ya, By The Way
Last night while you creeping around with that guy you met from the club,
I was already with him.
When you got home to your man and yall made sweet love,
I began to flow right through him.
If I did love If I did love
it would be so glorious
so clumsy on a spring afternoon
as Shakespeare
or Keats
as a ungraceful trip
caught merely by chance
I just need to feel wanted, that's all I'd ever ask
I'm that teenage whore that you adore, the one behind the mask
You don't even have to ask me please
Because I'm already on my knees
Bright hues of orange
of golden dandelion
of bursting sunrises
saturation of all colors
saturation of all feelings
an explosive concentration
of stifling
sticky
crippling
heat
Bright hues of orange
of golden dandelion
of bursting sunrises
saturation of all colors
saturation of all feelings
an explosive concentration
of stifling
sticky
crippling
heat
A defense mechanism
To keep me from the pain
Not even realizing
I’m hurting just the same
I bare it all now
So it won’t be stolen later
I put it all out there
So I can’t be tricked into giving it up
When I was 12 I made a vow. I would rather pay the price than experience the cheap imitation that wouldn't suffice. My lips are saved for the day I say I do. Go ahead, classify me as extreme, but I answer to the Supreme!
Its ugly dirty dangerous painful deceitful mysterious annoying crazy beautiful unexpected scars and craved. What is it you wonder LOVE. Love is two faced and its something you will never regret.
Life was hard and we had our downfalls,
but I was sure we could make it through anything,
so long as we stuck together
I loved you, undoubtedly, more than I loved myself
and that was the problem
a blood rush
an unfamiliar touch
she looks into his eyes
and wishes she could die
blissful desire
moment to be admired
anticipation swarms
making his way across the floor
I am a girl who loves a girl
And believes in the Bible too
There’s a fight in my head
It’s not a fight to the death
It’s a fight to realize who
Knows what it means to love.
Man shall not lay with man
He said that he was ready, he said now's the time to go
She was hesitant to answer, she was only twelve years old
But Puppy Love is blinding and her future was unclear
To pore over the menial, the seemingly fruitless
Holds keys to the meaningful
It is even in the presence of projected hatred
That the indomitable sense of worth
Shall take thee over
Here I am alone in the shadows
All by myself with no one to follow
You gave me your love
Yet it was poisonous
Now I hold this stone
This dangerous stone
The treatcherous gift that left me alone.
- Why look past something when that's all you see?
Guess that's how these guys feel about the H - O - Es.
If it's thrown, ya gonna fetch,
but don't catch, what all this promiscuity brings NEXT.
Ninety-five percent of boys are all the same,
They think with their "little heads" and wander when she'll came,
Ninety-five percent of girls are all the same,
They think with their mind and play competitive games,
Why...
Why do people tell lies...
And hide from the only one they have...
Lies that bind trust..
Which turn into a decietful lust for hate...
It's hard to comprehend the reason..
(poems go here) I am a palm reader
I know every story you have to tell
I feel your every scar
my finger brushes over them trying to erase their pain.
Your calluses tell me stories of treachery and triumph
I took the pills
bottled in their orange cocoon
I kissed each one
hoping their
flight to my uterus might be a swift one
flutter away this doubt
this regret this heavy feeling in the bottom of my throat
