(L)GBT

I used to think,
Why should I even try?
It’s hard when everyone around doesn’t see what going on inside your mind,
They don’t see the pain, the hurt, or the struggle. 
At 3AM I lie awake, crying because of fear
Fear that I can’t be who I am without judgement,
Fear that maybe one day I won’t be happy. 
What am I supposed to do?
They say I’ll go to hell, that this is unnatural,
That God didn’t make me this way, this is all a choice,
Send me to the fiery pits just because I can’t change who I am inside
I used to think,
If I could, I wouldn’t love her
Instead, I would love him
I wouldn’t be abnormal. 
I wouldn’t be an abomination. 
I wouldn’t be “living in sin”. 
These things that people don’t see, they eat me up inside
How am I supposed to be “normal”? 
Why am I not like them?
Will I ever be accepted?
Or will I hide in fear my whole life?
Just because I can’t be who I am. 
I can’t love who I love. 
I can’t live my life how I want. 
It’s funny the way society works,
I once read that gays and straights are like bras and bathing suits,
One is okay to be shown in public
And the other is disgraceful. 

But now I think,
Why can’t they see that this is how I am?
The LGBT+ community is for people like me. 
I’ve found refuge,
I’ve found protection. 
I’ve found people like me who want to love HER instead of HIM or vice versa,
I’ve found people who will love unconditionally
They don’t care that I love her,
They don’t care if I hold her hand in public,
They don’t care if I kiss her. 
People use the word “gay” as an insult,
I think it should be seen as a compliment. 
Because at least we don’t judge you for who you love,
We don’t scream “GOD HATES STRAIGHTS!” 
We don’t scream “YOU’RE GOING TO HELL!” 
Just because you hold a person's hand, we don’t won’t tell you “it’s Adam and Steve, not Adam and Eve”. 

I want to live happily, instead of in misery. 
I want the equal opportunity to walk down the aisle and say my vows,
Or see my child’s eyes gleam as I sit beside my wife,
But will the world let me?
Or will I continue asking myself, 
“Why should I even try?

-A.R.

This poem is about: 
Me
My community
Our world
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 

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