You

 

You made me think you were right for me

You made me think doing what I felt with you was right

You made me think my happiness could only come from fulfilling your every need

You made me think that with you I would rise but I actually failed

 

I put you on a peda-stone, you were my dominant, my superior, my predator, my king, my emperor. Little did I know you would bite me in the ass

You brought me to my climax, to my highest peak

But then you brought me down to my downfall, somewhere so dark and wicked, I could NEVER seek savior

 

My dear pleasure we were once such a great team

You were the superhero, and I was your sidekick

Although I did most of the work for both of us, I never got anything in return

I filled your belly with satisfactions you deeply craved

Meanwhile I left tired, broken, and curious for something called “love”

 

“Love? Are you fucken kidding me? Hell na

Strings attached are really asking me that nah fuck that

Rough hard meaningless sex? Oh now you’re talking”

That was the mentality you programmed me strictly to believe

 

I became a prostitute not for the money but to fill my everyday basis addiction for sex

Most have crack, meth, heroin as their never ending life threatening addiction, mine was just sex, of ALL types

I didn’t do it for the money, I did it for the free “no strings attached play your part and I’ll play my part” agreement

The money, haha it was just a bonus I gladly accepted that came with it

 

I used to live for the long loud monstrous moans, big wet repetitive orgasisms and the magical sounds of claps of bodies slamming into each other every second

Unknown, possibly dangerous men and women made “our” fantasies possible.

I spread my legs and mouth, opened wide enough for them to go in, just to satisfy you, but everytime I opened my heart and soul to my sexual partners you just spat on my belief of them giving a shit you laughed at it like it was the funniest joke in the world

Then the worst part was that you used me to satisfy YOUR thirst

 

You made me think this was what I wanted

You made me think this is what I needed

Even if it risked my health or put it in deep danger

 

Like the times I got chlamydia from that old guy from the store, or even when I got gonorrhea from the tire shop guy

You didnt care about my health, you didnt care about me

You only cared for me to fully serve YOU

You never loved me and I never hated you

Even when you used me, I still adored and loved you

 

But now I hate you

Guess what pleasure?

I got HIV.

You won’t be suffering only I will

FINALLY I get something to myself

I hate you because even after close signs and warnings you made me give my body to those people who only cared about getting laid

You blinded me, you didn’t respect me you didn’t care about me and I hate you for that

Now that I have a deadly disease you can care less about our relationship

Where is the team we once had is it all gone?

I suppose it is

 

And I want you to know once again that I HATE you, and despise you and deep heartedly hope you disappear and heart no one else

You blinded me made me think I was smaller than what I really am

I was your prey and you my predator

You degraded me as a person and a beautiful human being

You hurt and made me weak

 

And for that I will never forgive you, because I hate you.