transformation
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Cold and Alone
A girl,
Little more than a skeleton in this fallen world,
Balls herself up in a corner of this small room,
Freezing,
at the edge of the world
I stand and take in
the spray of waves on my face
the expanding sky
at the edge of the ocean
I wait for a sign
it is time again to be
grappling at being free
again I must be coming down
the path in which I wear the crown
for with it comes, the waves of pain
they've come to haunt me once again
Diamonds displayed
on black velvet-
the jeweler knows
the importance
of showcasing
such sharp contrasts.
( It is the inky
darkness
that highlights each
gem's inner fire...)
There is only one way to love.
We work and work and still we fail
Taking our breaks and trying to resolve
Only to leave each other and devolve
We're cheated and hurt, hoping for someone
Different.
Hark! they whispered, those dryads in the trees
And all throughout the woodlands I felt disease.
Plucking little white flowers, I twirled them between my fingers
New world, new faces, new things to see,
All over are people, people like me.
"No, they're different," I hear from above.
"Like these two men here, they don't know love.
Sitting in the dark.
Dreams vivd.
If only they were from the milk drank or the cheese eaten.
Much, much deeper in the soul, it leeches.
Somehing of a scratch it was.
I've come to fear the hours of 7 to 9,
as they bring with them gray and mournful moments.
They bring longing and foggy loneliness
from outside, most days.
TRANSFORMATION
Transformation.
Where developmental stages cascade into adolescence.
It molds our countries, comunities, and our families.
Our values, transform our future.
Head down in a book,
Hiding my braces,
Fearing they may look,
Always so abrasive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Head high like a rook,
Not afraid of their gazes,
Have them by the hook,
I wish you could truly see me,
Before you saw the vessel that carries me.
I wish my heart would introduce itself,
Before you knew my name.
I wish you’d feel my soul before you laid beside me.
It was the same scene time after time,
had me wishing i could fast forward or rewind
and make it all go away,
but I can't .... so it's all here to stay.
A new day was a new nightmare,
Only "I love you"
I hear is from
my daughter
Trapped in a
predicament
Now
I am
manifesting
Goodbye
days I yearned
to be over
Goodbye
lovely moments that exist
Unang gabi sa huling sandali
Nag-aagaw ang ilaw at dilim
Katahimika'y namamayani.
Nakatayo sa gilid ng bangin
Isang hakbang tungo sa libingan
Nakapikit ngunit nakatingin.
(LOW)
I call this transformation
This is Transformation
This is Transformation growing from seeds
Of beauty
Where the pith of self has been blown
It's inevitable that at some point in life, we all become cold, whether it's for a week or a lifetime, we become cold.
But what is being cold? Being cruel? Sad? Distant? It's subjective to each and every individual.
Fallen Shoulders
Once Raised High
Gardens Growing Up like Vines
Flower fields place their Roots
Deep within the Spine they Loop
Beneath Between Around About
The Cord that Dances
Up to the Crown.
You’ve changed.That’s what they keep telling me.
You’ve… changed.
Of course,you’re right.I’m not thevulnerable,young girlI used to be.
I sit in my castle,
Watching. Waiting.
Time is a precious thing, especially
When measured by the falling of rose petals.
Rain patters on my patio,
How I wish it would wash away
The alternating movement
from racket to racket.
Anxiety flooding her body
to achieve the goal of winning.
Shoes squeak like mice
When the universe was arranged,
All creation from a bang,
Every grain,
Every cell,
Every atom flew out.
And like all matter careened about,
Tucked away, hidden.
Secluded in the darkness.
Wearing the silence like the skin that covers my body.
Hardened like an icy glacier.
I was the night.
I was broken.
Fuck.
... ... ...
Might as well start this
With my best foot forward.
Do you want the story?
Emotional exploring?
A lot has happened
In the last 20 years.
... ... ...
Relatively so.
The mirror highlights the differences
From the polaroid on the wall
Of a man undriven, sad but unwilling
Enslaved to his own weakness
Sharp words and cruel tongues
Ignited the crucible long overdue
Hello old friend,
Can you believe my arrival is right around the bend?
I hoped you missed me
Cause I missed you
I even turned blue
Don't worry I've been fine
If I was an instrument
Just currently crafted
As I am
The old sounds would come from my fresh body
And startle those near
My simple, small, structure
My name is Jahmire, I'm at a point in my life where I must face my fears and remove the bitter taste of tears. Time to look in the mirror, emotionally see things clearer, finish my intellectual and moral education and be something pure.
I will look upon a normal tree,
Robust trunk and swinging leaves,
Then realize I wanted a flower.
I’ll tell myself it could be one,
Then it is, the transformation done,
Less of a tree with each passing hour.
Before you try to silence me, judge me
Before you treat my story with negativity
I wanted lavender walls to enlighten the pain while walking through the door
Stained glass windows to add color to dull days
Tan carpet that felt soft on all the rough skin it touched
If you could be the next thing you see
Would you do it?
Would you take your chances as a bumble bee
Or would you rather just forget it?
Life is too short to stay the same
Even if you're great.
Clawing at destructible walls, priding on the hopes for my heavy fall
By acute bitter fruit, on the Eve of my success
Pulling like a magnetic field for the break in my shield...of faith
Just get over it, she said.
Were these words simply a cruel joke?
I never expected to hear them
From the walking medical degree in a lab coat.
Shouldn’t you be smarter than that? I wanted to scream.
She went for a swim. When the sun was high and vicious and scalded the ground she walked on, she went for a swim.
Sitting on the warm hard tiles engulfed with water and soap
Pondering about life and all of its hope
The water stops and the door swings open
Only to reveal a provoking commotion
In this world of constant change and revelation
Students everywhere are disengaged from their education
Forced to complete mundane assignments
That bury their creativity and excitement
I lived to walk among the scenes
Of people walking by.
I lived to hear the mother's scream
And hear the baby's cry.
I lived to lend my helping hand
Until one day I saw
The thing I could not understand
1. I am a princess.
I am a mommy's girl
Innocent and preppy and loved
by my family.
I am done with baby bottles,
But only barely.
I am still a child.
2. I am an Arizona girl.
It’s the beginning
Born the same, life is simple
Why would there be hate?
But the winds change
Clouds turn black with jealousy
And the cold descends
Eyes stare with hatred
Everyone growsThe more we learn the more me fearThe unknown casts a shadowWhere do we go from here?
This is a monotone spectrum, waving in and about our minds, releasing emotions and making us feel.
I fear we are the same, each and every day.
Quizzical mindhushed and hiddenlie within the shadows.
Everyone is prepping forthe live broadcast.The premieres set oncethe sun plants itselfon to the night sky
Not gently woven--Plucked.
Traveling the heartless tunnel, where I must defend,
Where I must pace slowly,
The Raging Wolf snarls in my glittered path.
Muting the song of heartbreak with his temper,
His seductiveness and lust-
Rain forms on her skin and falls upon the ground
Each step, each breath, a labor—they see her, try.
Panting, struggling, doing her best not to be “this”
They see her now, she cries inside—embarrassed.
Gotta go truckin’ some novacane
Watch this paranoia hurricane
Blow this fuckin static pain away
Red razor sharp pain away
Whose thy hand taketh pain away?
Twitch my aches sail the sea of sane
In the depths of the heart lies a sunrise and a sunset.
In the wonders of the mind lies a thin line that separates them.
Attempting to fill yourself with love,
Hatred consumes us by the betrayal of those we once loved.
