suicidal thoughts

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Entertaining death The thoughts fill my mind My chest heavy with Despair Pass another year I jest. But in reality I begin to feel fear
It's been a while now   I used to cut and cry and repeat   But now I finally know    How that battle can be beat        
The one person I didn't want to know knows But no one knows it all They know of my depression But they do not know of the marks spanning down my arms and thighs They know I am struggling
Her mind is filled with the screams of the damned Roaring over the cracking Tearing Ripping Of the sky The pounding beat steady Louder Louder Louder Gutteral cries Deep down
She lies in the dark scared to be alone with her thoughts for even a moment that they might overtake her  or that they'd swallow her whole  as if she'd never see the light of  day again
  im sorry Yall probably wont ever see this but this needs said im sorryI know at times it appears otherwise but i love you all truly i always have
Dear Mother,   You ask if I’m alright, always expecting a simple ‘I’m alright’, or ‘I’m fine’. And that’s what you get, because that’s what you expect and I know that so it’s okay.
Dear parents,  I'm sorry that I'll never grow up To be the person you wanted me to be. I'm sorry that when you think of me, All you'll remember are the signs You didn't see.   Dear sister,
Daddy, I’m scared. There’s a monster under my bed. And i hear his claws and his deep growl. Daddy, I’m scared. But you’re my brave knight!
go to school, they say get a job, they say but why?  you don't care about me. I'm just another cog in the machine I'm so tired, so lonely, and so done with it all
Trying to write what i feel Putting emotions into words Trying to explain these things I dont even know what they are When the words won’t come out
I remember thinking that I deserved it -the pain, I deserved the pain I remember it being difficult to talk -the words, they just wouldn't come out I remember that I despised myself
Have I ever wished to dive into a ravine? I would have said no.   I'm forced to say yes. What were once my sweetest dreams crash upon the rocks.   Drain the mania;
She doesn't cry anymore. Instead she smiles. But her wrists cry. They cry rivers of red. But nobody notices. Not until she's dead.
Can't anyone see me? See this fake smile on my face? See these tears that I hold back? Can't you see the pain that I'm in? You all see this wall of protection that I have put up, 
I am a sailboat. A sailboat without a sail. Without any wind to guide me. My life is the ocean, Angry and fierce and unpredictable. It tosses me from side to side, The water pouring in,
Kneeling against these creaky doors,Lazily carving incisions,To take back my skin from the pain,Then I decided to spew out,A chalice of apparent relief,And fall into the puddle,Letting the tears benumb the stench,My insides clenched onto the despa
Image: Les bons et les mauvais jours by Magnetic  
Missing before the night I left, Invisible to those around me, Lost in my own world, Trying to survive on my own, Trying to be noticed, Trying to reach out and beg someone for help.  
The darkness formed a box in my mind, Trapping my thoughts and never letting me see the light.   I'm trapped within my own mind,  And that's the worst kind of torture,
The rose is mineI cherished itIt's something sacred and uniqueSome give it up so fastGive it away at any momentTo a boy or a girl
I hear the screams I hear the cries But when I try to stop them The voices reply, "Darling dear….” “You've been talking back!"
It’s not depression It’s not suicidal It’s not anxiety   Because I tell myself It’s not   Others have it worse
Not to rain on your parade But I’m not the fragile crybaby you think I am. You see, Suicidal thoughts weight a ton I trek through concrete jungles With 500 pounds of loneliness on my backpack,
there are so many things happening           my brain feels like mush life is moving past me           why is everyone in a rush i don't want to be here anymore         i feel the water start to gush
i honestly dont know what you expected this isnt a poem you want to know how much i want attention? yeah me too.
when you ask me what i’m thinking and i outright refuse, my mind is full of things i could never ask from you:   stop me from stealing, stop me from lying. keep me away from the nails i’m biting.  
I wake up in the middle of the night, my eyes low, my breath shallow and sharp.  I lay down in the middle of the day, tears stinging my eyes, bleeding arms and hips. 
I remember—
 I see her get picked on everyday. I do nothing to stop them. I'm too scared to stand up to the bullies who ones bullied me. They called me every name in he book. They said I was ruining my life.
A dark hole has nothing on this so-called life A dark hole is a haven to me. But life? Life cuts at you like a knife. And just as you escape the strife   It tears you down once more
Im like a toddler in the driver's seat I thought the freeway looked promising it didnt seem difficult from what I seen too much time alone in the other seat knowledge is nothing without experience
At night between  
if there ever is a day when im gone  when the wind sweeps me away with the pale dust and dingy acidic rain if there ever comes a day when my mouth is sewn shut for good and
You found me, Hanging there, The note that I left, is in your hands, And as you read, You start to remember all the signs, And you start to realize that, I could have been saved,
I just don't fucking give a shit anymore.
Your words are like a knife a dagger a double edged sword cutting through Each time the wound gets deeper and deeper So bad you can't take it anymore and wanna give up, don't.
I dedicate this to you To all those who have suffered endlessly hopeless Fighting to live another day just like today too Rock paper scissors, oops you're out Get out, out of my life I don't need you.
The things that are kept inside
My head is spinning
I try to forget the night. The night I heard the news.
He’s got long, gray, gnarly fingers like the branches of a dying tree,
Don't do it So you aren't perfect after all No one asked you to be Neither am I Neither is he Neither is she We all have a purpose Find it Lets make a difference
The young quiet girl with baby blue eyes, I see her in school, I see how she hides, But hides what I dont know.   The young quiet girl who never did speak, I see her get bullied,
Depression. It’s like being trapped in a dark tunnel. You are cold. With nobody to keep you warm, As they wrap their arms around you. You are alone. Nobody is there for you; Nobody ever was.
I cannot touch you Not physically Yet emotinally and mentally I manage to do. You're so far away But so close to me I tell you goodnight at the end of the day. I wish I we could meet
I write because I am sick, because I am always filled with anger and sadness.Typing my heart and soul out through these keys onto this screen and now in your mind is how I can slowly save myself.
Bright blue eyes shine like Rain upon my window pane Hair like golden waves spike Just as sweet as sugar cane When he goes away He will never comeback There’s nothing to say Hurts like a heart attack
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