21 Apologies

 

im sorry Yall probably wont ever see this but this needs said

im sorryI know at times it appears otherwise but i love you all truly i always have

im sorry I know i really suck at expressing my emotions maybe thats why youre not hearing this from my mouth

im sorry As i sit here writing this with tears in my eyes  i feel like an asshole for breaking down

Im sorry but im never gonna be the perfect daughter the role model or the best big sister

im sorry but I can't be what you need me what society asks me to be so im of no use   

im sorry everyone at school says the world would be better without me  

im sorry but it feels like everyone i thought i could count on has gone away and left me standing on  my own

im sorry you don't understand this but trying to be  like everyone else is  exhausting me mentally, emotionally and physically

im sorry it's not that i don't want to fit in or that i don't want to communicate properly i truly don't know how

im sorry everyday life is such a puzzle to me  it's much more complicated than you make it out to be

im sorry but most days i sit alone at lunch and walk  myself to class while my peers snicker and point at my ever-fidgeting fingers

im sorry when i come home all i want to do is run to my room and cry  because it feels like im never gonna belong

im sorry I beg of you please don't blame yourselves for my feeling this way  there was nothing you could do

im sorry everyone has their time on earth and it feels as though mine is nearly up  as i have no purpose

im sorry no matter how hard i try im never gonna be what everyone sees in me

im sorry everyone sees a fragment of the puzzle but never the big picture

im sorry nobody sees the girl behind the mask i doubt they want to anyway

im sorry I can't continue living my life like this

im sorry i don't even feel alive im a mere zombie nothing more than a shadow of my former self

im sorry but i dont wanna live anymore

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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