emptiness
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Two mirrors stand
Adjacent, opposed,
Staring into the infinity
They strive to approach,
Becoming
But never being
<- OBSESSION ->
manifests itself directly from deep -> LONGING
that occurs due to unmet -> HUNGER
When everything breaks
Everything shatters
My heart in pieces
Scattered
And all the world
So beautiful,
Yesterday
No one told me,
That surviving,
Was like seeing blind,
With no clear direction,
Mistakes on every turn,
Stumbling after something,
And almost always lost.
I was never taught,
As our worries start rise, the emptiness of our world fulfills itself. When do the thoughts that make our mind itch stop? When does our self control dismiss itself? What can we expect? Half full or half empty?
It is not just one, there are many, one for each you
Wounds, Hurt
One for each absence
How much you? How much me? How much of us?
How much time and absence on this goodbye?
yo
i'm broke
'cause i'm lovin' these hoes
give your heart just so they can shoot it down from a microscrope
backstabbin' disruptin' hoes putchu on the low
now you sittin' here all alone
I lost years of my life to a box with no air,
To the simulated felatio, the thought of company that wasn't there.
Wrap your fate around your finger and give way,
We'll find our way out of here someday.
cutter, killer
what have you done?
did you learn to make tights knots?
or play with a gun?
Silent, Loner.
it this any fun?
you sink deeper and deeper.
the demons have won.
Empty, hollow.
Moon-kissed windows,
projecting the oblivious melancholic sight
of those who shine bright, and
time-blessed gravity defyers
dancing to a rhythm of lust,
like blooming roses in the sun.
I stood there in the quiet
accompanied by the swirling Zephyros
A still voice piercing, emanating, delving
And my brows furrowed, face contorting
January 30, 2018
Dear Emptiness,
How do I write to you. You are what is not there or could be there.
For you there can be anything inside.
I’m sitting in my room
Looking out my window down
Feeling extremely trapped inside
Although I’m really not sure why
But even as I am home again
I can’t seem to find an outward happiness
There's a place that I've been
doesn't have top nor end
and you'll fly
like a bird
underwater
There's a song you should hear
hold a shell up to your ear
and you'll be
Where did you go
My Soul, my soul?
Oh God do answer
For only you know.
My soul, my soul
To where did you leave?
Or are you trapped within pulsating walls
Where the darkness does so cleave?
"More, more." They say,
"More, more."
These voices won't stop
This emptiness won't be filled enough
"More, more." These voices continue to say,
"More, more."
More of what?
More friends.
Heartbreak is the heartbeat moments
Smiles fading into frowns
When happy turns to sad
In remembrance of a memory
The longing to return
When all is said and done
When the light of day is gone
When the single key is turned
And the old dust greets
the lights are put on,
When the familiar lends to desire
And the beautiful
Have I ever wished
to dive into a ravine?
I would have said no.
I'm forced to say yes.
What were once my sweetest dreams
crash upon the rocks.
Drain the mania;
Her hypnotizing eyes, so full of life look at me.
Her luscious lips stretch into a charming smile.
She reaches out for me.
Her warm, sweet breath hits my face.
I embrace her, but only manage to hug empty air.
The wind blows
Trees shake
I'm all alone
in the hot sun
While the others laugh
and play around
I sit here
without a sound
The wind blows
Trees shake
A sick bliss, bubbling
Spilling out over me
Staining and settling
In holes, in the cracks
All the locked in got out
Now it’s boiling out
Now it’s staining and settling
In holes, in the cracks
There is this deep, evasive emptinessthat never ceases to lack control.That conquers and escapes,that stirs quiet chaos in my soul.
Here without him,
I have nothing
I am nothing
I have constant doubt
Flaring up inside
I have constant worry
And there are always tears to cry
With him,
I had everything
How do I fill this void
I have tried distractions and diversions
But I am still a very sad person.
I try not to lose my writing passion
If the yearning
has passed
and I am no longer aghast in the rooms of my heart,
I’ll be going now.
If desire has ceased dripping
from solicitous lips,
the future is a yawning abyss,
Uneventful brain canvass leaves much to be desired.Ancient wisdoms, science laws I've struggled to acquireFrom the corner of my eye they sink into the mirethat stagnant swamp that's left behind when big souls lose their fire.
I slowly drift into sleep.
The room around me is a world of pink.
Neon stars above my bed blink,
Sweet dreams.
I slowly drift into sleep.
My body heat warms up my sheets.
Nothing can fill the emptiness of a loss.
No tear, sorrow, or sadness
can fill the gaps of time today.
Brown eyes,
Black hair.
Heart-shape lip,
Unnerving stare.
A young woman looks back at the mirror, confused.
The long waves of her hair are cut to her shoulders,
Her eyes empty and lost.
Wounds, that illuminate...That spirit, that planted the seed…unknown!Just a biological relationship…is not a home.The soulknows you not…Depart from thee.
"More, more" they say, "More, more."
These voices won't stop.
This emptiness won't be filled enough.
"More, more." These voices continue to say, "More, more."
More of what?
More friends.
More money.
Yeah I know.
This is supposed to be hard.
This ridiculousness
Has to get me
Thinking I really miss this
thing I felt. She
Ain't gonna be my missis
Fearless is the absence of the fear
Fearing less is a message held dear
Bravery or neccessity, the motive unclear
Tongueless or eyeless, his silence impure
A road less tread, a story unread
Cold plastic is what I see
It’s all you will ever be
Whispers and actions
Divides our “family” into factions
Rumors and back-stabbing
Anger from her blabbing
“Second family” yeah right
i speak for those who have lost their courage to speak
for those whos words run to the tip of their tounges just to retreat back to the back of the throats back to where they came from
I wish i could write about nothing at all.
wouldnt it be interesting to describe nothing?
we couldnt say a color,
How would we know what color it would be?
We couldnt say a shape,
You're dropping "I'm sorry" like I'm still around.I don't care how you feel. I don't care about your excuses.You took for granted all the times I never let you down.
Each moment completely whole
Each breath cherished
Each touch filled with joy
Each kiss remembered
Each smile because you're here
Brave, loyal friends having one another's backs
A loving sensei* always encouraging him
Silent tears
concealed by a pathetic façade.
Soundless suffering,
weeping.
A voiceless shrill
cloaked by false smiles.
Muted agony,
raw and searing.
A torturous solitude
I've grown up around strong women. To be specific, I've been surrounded by strong black women.
That doesnt make me strong though
This made it hard for me to find myself. I wanted to be like them
I'm a fountain of blood in the shape of a girl that hoped one day that maybe she could be loved.
You told me I was beautiful.
You taught me to talk.
You told me I was your princess,
Empty Rooms filled with--interrupting lightMissing floorboardsMissing stairsHungry CupboardsVacant VasesEverythingis Nowhere.No Roof
You poisoned our love
With sweet lies
Made it impossible
For our love to survive
Please keep your distance
From me.
Do not come to me
I do not see you,
Do not speak of me
She looks up at the clouded sun
For the thousandth time today
Feels the worlds ambience around her
If there's light in love,
How were we so dark?
Why all this pain?
why all the muck
Love is supposed to be
beautiful...
We were a Nuesance,
to us and each other
It had been there for the longest time
A nail in place of this heart of mine
Eyes blank and wandering in darkness
I never understood why it was mine
But it always burned
Carry the One. carry,.. drag.. discard!
-futile. GRIPPING my face, Clawing me back..
My affliction.
my burden. MY BURDEN. carry, drag.
Lost within my own
Like how only the sky can feel the lightning, thunder and rain
only i know the feeling of empty loneliness
the true distance between me and happiness
only i can fake the smile
and hide the tears
I left my soul on your floor last night. Battered, and cold. The cracks in the tile cradled my scarlet letter, safely. Your hands strong; sweet.I was certain that this was honest—perhaps naive.
My life is worth nothing, but an empty space
More than eternity darkness
More than bottomless ocean
Because I am who I am
My life feels like the bottom of a dark miserable hole
Love is hysterical
Such is the hysteria that you do not even realize when it has made camp within your walls
Embedding itself within your soul
Until it is ripped from the place in which it was rooted
Running
Running
FUNNING running
Funneling grape soda and cranberry juice through a lemon squeezer
Why not?
It’s all pointless anyway.
Birds fall out of the sky like
Some days I just wanted to scream
I just wanted to runaway
Or melt as if I were cream
They make everything seem like a dream
Voices haunt my sleep.
Soaring shadows awaken
my soul. Falling far,
far, far down into the depths
of ruins and caves you left
empty for my arrival.
I'll push my heart into hiding. Let it be smothered and suffocated, until it becomes a pearl. The only thing that's shining in the hollow remains of a girl. Being numb felt much better than I could've imagined.
I loathe the four corners of this empty room
She fills them with things:
things from thrift shops and flea markets.
From the molding around the ceiling
to a few inches before the floor
the walls are covered.
So long have I tarried in it,
That thick stuff they say is laughter.
But I hear the bitterness
Behind it. How cruel it can be-
Loud and harsh.
And all this time I didn’t-
Wouldn’t-
I am the hollow woman
My merry mechanism failed
Left with so much opposition
from other's emotions that are stale
My normal state is empty
but my capacity half the world
I took on that responsibility
My bible tells me Love is kind, patient, unselfish, and hopeful
That it keeps no records of wrongs, never gives up and never loses faith
The Ocean pulls it’s body back and forth like my lungs that breathe in life.
And my heart that drums it’s final beats.
I’m sitting on a bulk of sand from the high tide line.
I walk along the quiet beach,
Soft, white sand beneath my toes.
My mind is empty, void of thought
Except of seashells on the ground.
