Discipline

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It can be hard to keep going when your brain is telling you that you aren’t good enough, And changing those thoughts in your mind is always going to be tough.
And as I look down, I see the blood and tears splattered all over the floor,  Because it seems like every time I try to open it, there is always someone there to close the door.
Just like that, we are back to square one, Having to start over, because of all of the things that were done. The things that I went through that I never talked about before,
You breaking my heart was the best thing you could have done for me, Because now it is my turn to finally focus on everything that I want to be.
And just like that, I don’t have any of the memories anymore, And it feels like I am one step closer to closing that door. It was one of the hardest things that I ever had to do,
Just when I started to feel upset, it all started to come true, That the dreams that I had working for were finally coming through.
Waves One second you are fine, and the next second it hurts again, Because I don’t even care that I lost you as a lover, but part of me still does miss you as a friend.
I have to keep reminding myself that I knew that this was not going to be an easy task, And it is simple to keep it together during the day, but lose it at night when you take off your mask.
If you stop now, then what was the point of all of this in the first place? Because you can't quit now when you are this close to finishing the race. Even if it seems like there is no finish line in sight,
It always seems as if it is one step forward, and one step back,  And that when things go wrong, it is because of the strength that you seem to lack.
Lately it feels as if everything around me is falling apart, That I keep reliving the same moments over and over, not knowing how to follow my heart. I keep it together, and have a smile on my face when others are around,
Thing always seem to get hard right before the miracles occur, And sometimes it is easier to wish for things to go back to how they once were.
You really thought I would give you the privilege to stop me, But you have no idea who I am and the person that I am trying to be. You so badly wanted to believe that I was broken,
It took me a long time to realize that no matter what you do, you can not please everyone, And that you will only drive yourself crazy trying to accomplish this because it is a task that will never be done.
It took me a long time to realize that there is only so much that you can blame others for, And that if you want to change your life, it is up to you to be the one to close that door.
You tried your best to break me, You thought you could shake me. You wanted to try and fight me, You thought you had defeated me. You thought you had me knocked down,
It took me a long time to realize that the thing that is keeping you going is not always something that you are able to see, And that even when everyone else is against you, you can not allow them to deter you from who you want to be.
No matter what life decides to put you through, it is up to you to keep going, And even when it seems like you can't keep going, moving forward is what is going to help you to keeo growing.
For the first time in a long time I am writing about being alone, but not in my usual way, Usually when I talk about being alone, it is in a negative way, and it leaves me with only sad things to say.
I have come to realize that at the end of the day, nothing is going to change.  I don't know why it took me so long to realize that the way everyone was acting was strange.
Why does it always seem like it is one step forward and ten steps back? It makes me sit and wonder, what are the skills that I seem to lack? Deep down I know that this is what I want and that my life can be improved,
Is it stupid to believe that you are capable of anything that you set your mind to? Do some people feel like that no matter how hard you work they may never come true?
My lungs. Burn.  My legs. Ache. Yet I could not imagine anywhere I would rather be.  My stride carries me along, but it's the mentality that gets me across the finishline. 
Morning bells boom betwixt lofting ashes and Unsheathed blokes razing the town; Pirates about pillaging and raping As they please; Militia have fled the town.   Morning bells strike as the hanging and
He smiled with a frown whilst discipline is an empty bottle of sorrow we all drown even if we could reach and grab the hand of air it wouldnt matter because most would seem it to be dirty
The Zone The Zone Mirros chaos and exertion Emphasizes struggle and pain Rids the body of subltelty and disdain  Requires complete mental immersion The Zone Where I choose to make my home
The pain of being in sin is greater than the pain of being disciplined. 
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