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I'm on a little boat
Which was never meant to set sail.
I'm on a little boat,
It is anchored by the bay.
I'm on a little boat
From where I greet you every day.
I'm on a little boat
Julia,
We never would have worked,
You knew it long before I did.
Before you left I had a friend,
Now that you’re gone I feel alone.
We started out as strangers,
We met -- you my teacher, I your student.
I was drawn to your mystery,
Your dark, brooding looks I was admiring.
My heart fluttered a little each time you glanced my way,
Dear Almost lover,
I'm writing this because I never got closure.
It's been awhile since we've talked
and I think it's time for a disclosure
and I don't want to be mocked.
to the boy I once loved,
sometimes i think that even the pain of dying
isn't as unbearable
as the feeling of your heart shattering
into a million pieces
i'd rather experience the sensation
Dad,
I remember
…every single time you abandoned me in a car to chase your own desires
…every single time you smoked your daughter away from your mind
Dear D,
You’re my worst enemyWho is always there with me,
From the moment I awakeTo the thoughts that I make.
Dear Nana,
How are you? How have you been?
I've been trying to be happy but how do I begin?
I remember your last day like the back of my hand
Little did I know time was running out like dripping grains of sand.
Dear "Him",
I can finally look at you and not feel my heart stop, though it still skips a beat but only for a second.
I can finally stop wearing the necklace you bought me our first year, though I'll never lose it.
Dear Person, I thought I knew,
The day we met I was at my best, life was full and my heart was beating out of my chest,
alone at night the fire rumbles
pushing hard to burst to life
spark of light in frozen jungle
virgin paper unstained by eye
precision folds urged to display
quiet letters hidden from sight
To all young people considering returning to a boy who forfeit his right to be called a boyfriend
I have some advice
Lips, beard, eyes, hands, hair, chest.
I miss you.
I miss our marajuana breath.
My first toke,
bedsand,
bamboo sheets.
Hold me when I cry
Kisses make me weak
Now I feel cheap.
One kiss.
Sometimes that's all we get.
Now I'll never wonder-
Call me if you ever need feelings.
I have plenty to spare.
I don't know what it is about you.
Don't know why
I ever even tried.
You play Neil Young-
maybe you also played me.
Your arms are warm BUT our bed smells of something rotten.
We hardly ever speak.
your eyes
they light up the darkest nights
so please just carry me one more night
a life without you would shake me with fright
right
you were right
I was going to grow up and leave...
For four years I waited on this moment.
As a freshman in high school I assumed that the only thing standing in between me and this moment was forever.
Lonely on the inside
Can't seem to find my way
Thought this time
was suppose to be
Time that I'd find me
Forget about what pushed me gone
I let go, and I was done
With every unsaid wordbetween us,a new brick is addedto our wall of silence.
This silence begannaturally as wegrewboth up and apart.
I wake to the sound of silenceThe absence of my screamingThe absence of your shoutsThe absence of my bed squeakingThe absence o your moans.There are no violent rips of clothingNo slimy lick of the tongue
And that day I went to bed
but I never slept
because I could never sleep
without the part of me you kept
I have been put down
In the harshest of ways
And I cannot frown
Because it is not you who deserves the blame.
I don’t mind that we went our separate ways
it was bound to happen anyway
I don’t mind the awkward feeling when we’re with mutual friends
It may have been a Monday evening
when you felt your fingertips buzzing at your
lips.
It was a wind, a gust, of beauty in your anxiety
Nail biting
eating away at things that do not sense pain.
Green eyes envy more than blue
Fields of emeralds feel softer than ocean waves, but not to you
Absent anarchy fills absent minds
Your tsunami still fills mine
Uprooted by shrieks and horrors,
I am from cells, built together to make my mother’s uterus,
If I wasn’t supposed to come out, then how did I,
don't tell me things about myself
that i know are lies
don't say that i am not good enough
when i know the truth
don't say that i am ugly
when i can see clearly
There's a rule my mother lives by,
a sort of moral code:
"Never put anyone before your mother."
This is because your mother is always there for you.
Your mothers is the reason you're alive.
The water. It crashes over perfectly glazed-over, deep grey sand gently-- striving not to crack the breathtaking surface of reflections.
The sun. It sinks quietly into the majestic purple and nectarine colored sky like silk.
Why I write? Why I write?
The true query is why men speak
So often?
So often when they do not mean what they say
nor understand what they mean
Or even care to
It is my rescuer
This written word
It helps me create my own other world
I just pour my feelings onto the page
And everything just seems to go away
I conquer the bad
And celebrate the good
Funny how I oftentimes
write to escape,
write to get shit off my chest,
but it is in looking through
any of the poems I have ever written
that I can then tell you
exactly why I wrote that, how I felt,
I'm not one to hold grudges I don't care about the hype. I've come so far and you know I'm not the vengeful type but I still can't believe I let myself stoop so low because you let me cling on to a false hope.
I can feel you
all around me;
you are the constant breeze
making subtle noises on the entire backyard.
Dead pine needles the same
color as your hair hang
surrounded by the green,
of life.
Staring out at the city lightsI was wasting time, wasting timePhotographing the pieces, I reached new heightsRealizing the old colors never seemed to rhyme
They say it gets easier with time
Pain and heartache
“Everything will be okay, just wait and see.”
But it’s been five years
And it’s only gotten harder
At least for me.
I’m throwin' my hand in
I’m done with your games
Don’t care if the next one’s
Better
Cause I’m tired
Of the cold hearted
Cheatin'
and
Lyin'
It’s gettin' kinda old now
A player
I can never love you
Because you hurt me
One too many times
But I will always love you
Because at one time
You were mine
And I was yours,
Or so I thought
You never told me
