Slam for Suicide Awareness and Prevention
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Razors rope knives guns drugs dope
Building cliff cars water electricity starve
Alcohol fire poison suffocate jump—
Pick and choose.
You pick and choose.
Choose your method of self-destruct.
Living in a world that I don't want to live inI hate it here If I had the strength to end my life I would But I'm a coward
Each time that my mind was finally ready to end it all,
I stood on the end of a bridge, ready to jump.
It always seemed like it would be quick and cheap.
The pain would end before I had a chance to even register it.
You never blamed anyone but yourself
It didn't matter that you were always the one there for everyone else
You thought that everything was your fault
Even though you had no control over any of it at all
As I look down and see what that night did you,
I reflect on how I though that walking through the gates were best for me,
And now I see that they were detrimental to you,
Smiling wide
Im happy.
I laugh and love
im here for you,
your struggles don't need to be dealt with alone.
It's an endless well that you've fallen into,
feeling a tugging hunger but having no appetite,
taking two steps forward and being pulled five back.
It's seeing every flaw,
She can see her brother through the crack.
He’s resting his hand on the door he’s used so few times
And thinks that she could be sleeping,
On just the other side.
As I’m lying stiff in my bed,
Listening to the empty streets,
Absorbing the buzzing of tiny insects,
And analyzing the peaceful swishing of leaves
As they sway back and forth in the wind,
I inhale.
Suicide is a scary word
But not as risky as losing her
Who she grew up to become, nobody knew
For the job she wore was already through
I see a little girl I used to be
She knows how to smile
She knows that she’s worth everything
She doesn’t care about what others might think
the water falls from nowhere as it obliviates everything in its path so beautifully yet equally as terrifying.
As it falls on the paper the ink bleeds creating a mesmerizing swirl of darkness.
Let the waves take me under, let my tired lungs fill with tears.
Like my mother's, who wept for years.
I got it from her.
Mother knew best.
Do you see me?
Do you feel me?
Can you feel the pain, the ache inside of me?
'Cause I'm alone fearful to hope.
Terrified I'll drown and no one will be home.
So I just wander inside my head,
My brother in arms
Battles against the world, himself,
And me. His entire family.
My brother in arms,
An encyclopedia who seems to know the entire world—
And everything throughout—
The One who calls from the Light,
declares all who submit will be free.
I have seen what life in Death has done,
almost stealing my life away from me.
For fiery passions and endless sadness,
Feeling that the world is closing you in to
the brink of suffocation with no relief
Feeling that the world has left you exposed in
the open with no comfort of companionship
Nothing is wrong with you.
Nothing is wrong.
Why don’t you smile? Smile.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
People have it worse than you do.
Bring me sadness, bring me pain.
Bring me something, I'm going insane.
I need help, are you there?
No one is, not anywhere.
I'm in the shadows where no one seeks.
I'm losing balance, I'm very weak.
A lot of people have trouble expressing themselves;
dressing in distress, sometimes unable to address themselves,
lost to guess where they should go next
In high school I didn't learn much, I mean I don't remember much.
Yes I can tell you that a^2 + b^2 = c^2 or that sentences must be punctuated.
But the one thing I really remember from high school and I mean vividly remember.
Sometimes I wonder
If you remember that night
Of his pilgrimage
And my sixth grade graduation
When we were yelling through the door
It’s not what you want to hear,
So I won’t tell you now,
But someday maybe you’ll see
We're both better off without me.
I am the voice for the mentally insane.
I speak on behalf of the those with voices locked inside their brain.
The ones who dream of angels but live with demons.
I speak on behalf of the depressed.
I Never Knew
I know this is a common phrase by people like me
But
I never knew
You should have told me
You could have trusted me
I’m almost there,
To the point of killing myself
Almost made it.
Just a few more inches.
I’m almost there,
Just a few more words
Then I’m gone
Out of this place
I'm huddled in my corner
With nothing left to show for my sins
The walls are growing colder
And I see the world through a twisted lense
I look down at my canvases
They're riddled with lines fading away
Dedicated to all the people who took there life when they thought nobody knew how they felt...
Where is the light
That once shined so bright
If only I could be your knight in shining armor
break those gender stereotypes
save you instead of the other way around
Break you out of your shell
Day by day,
The colors fade.
Morphed identities,
Torn hearts,
And bleeding smiles.
All hidden under a translucent facade.
Is it blindness
Or is it ignorance?
They are oblivious to
Hush little baby don't you cry,
Put down that blade and don't be shy.
Take a breath and close your eyes
Don't listen to all their lies.
Hush little baby, down you lay
A shroud of ghostly light
Sunders the once dark night,
Shining on a dismal form,
On one who has done much harm
I laugh.
I smile.
I tell jokes.
I'm okay, is what I say.
(I cry
I weep
I'm falling,
spiraling
Help)
Darkness swells across the misty moors.Silent shapes, heaving-weaving.The silver moon slowly grows black,as all warmth disappears from the dead maniac sun.
Just take a moment and think of this
A arm that's bruised and beaten
Ripped open from the outside in
Think about this
A leg cut open from years of being dismissed
Just a teenager over reacting
Sometimes we fall,Sometimes we slip up,But no mater what happens music is here for US.
I’m tired of feeling this way.
I’m tired of being the irrelevant character in a plot that doesn’t need me.
I’m tired of giving the world to someone who doesn’t want it.
When you get the news, your heart stops.
Not a success, its just an attempt,
All the same, your stomach drops.
But with that kind of fear, no one’s exempt.
Suddenly you can’t think straight,
It haunts me.
No!
I wont.
Not again.
I left that habit.
I fought to stop.
I know it's wrong
But the voices.
The voices in my head.
They tell me its enough
They tell me to quit
Do you see it?
The rain?
It's the tears of sad souls.
Do you hear it?
The thunder?
It's the screams of those who have lost.
Do you feel it?
The sunshine?
Days go by but nothing changes,
The pain comes in different ranges,
I look for comfort in different places,
but im rejected by familiar faces,
so I look to escape this brutal reality,
Why couldn't you save me?
I tried to tell you,
I tried to let you see,
but instead you withdrew,
She was unbreakable
Nothing fazed her
She was alway smiling
And everyone knew her name
That quirky tilt of her head
Always arguing with herself
And that black sweatshirt whe always wore
Misread and verbally beated
Unloved and mistreated
Alone and unneeded
No one knows the way their river flows
Always ignored, the pain grows
I don't understand why people think I'm crazy
For wanting riddance
For wanting silence
All of this is just defiance
For wanting death to overcome me!
I desire it so just for the pain to cease
I thought you could see me, behind the frosted glass window
But I am but a shadow, a faded memory
You cannot fathom my pain, you cannot understand my thoughts
Hey there Lonely,
I want you to know that you aren't alone.
That you aren't the only one.
And I know that that blade, those pills -
They are rather tempting.
Trust me, I know.
she sings me to sleep with a dark lullaby and convinces me it's peaceful
she's the first one home and the first one to leave
but she never stays gone for long
she's an unwelcomed guest who demands to be welcomed and
An eighteen year old girl should not have to be surrounded
An eighteen year old shouldn’t need to drown in their thoughts
A person should never be consumed
My friend is no longer my friend
How can one prevent such a thing as suicide,
When half of the world is blind
To the pain people see everyday
In life, the world, even a friendly place
Step number one is open up your eyes
To your smooth shining surface
To your razor sharp edge
You are my sinister brush
For this hurting canvas
Sadly holding you tightly
Gliding you across the delicate surface
Wouldn’t it be easy?
A hand full of pills,
Gently sliding down my throat,
Poisoning my body,
The wind picks up and the horizon turns burgundy red
The people of this city scurry to their expensive cars
Racing to get home to see the kids, to finish the game, for dinner.
But what they don’t see
It's bright, so bright, too bright.
Shining, blinding, burning the light.
Standing next to the sun, unimaginable height.
Forced ot go down, using all of my might.
A powerful genie
An english teacher
A psychologist
A man trapped in a board game
An actor
A comedian
A friend
If he felt this way,
who else does?
Young in age but aged so young
Denied no hymnal yet to be sung
Against Her good nature, no heed to Her grace
Death stole a lamb with no wool to replace.
Placed in the Valley, taken tomorrow
We all have our inner demons,
the shadow-monsters that follow us
whispering abuse in our ears.
You may not see them,
but they follow everyone,
and sometimes they're strong, too strong
My emotions run to high, they bubble over yet stay inside.
I bleed my thoughts through this pen,
my pain being read over sheets of tattered paper.
Let me slip away
from this
earth.
My soul has
endured
too much.
My heart has
been broken
from the evils of this
world.
Let me gasp in the
glory of your
Doors without locks
Windows glued shut
One Zoloft by day
Insomnia by night
My week in a mental hospital
After I tried to make it all go away
Don't tell me I'm okay
Hello Friend
Here you come agian
Come have a seat with me
Then leave me in agony
But still I'll await your return
I don't know anyone else
Hello Friend
It's so dark here
He sits on the bench grasping his ticket
he looks at the train schedules and sees that his train is not due for a long while.
he looks out the window through the thicket
and sees no one, not even a single smile.
Why do I always feel so alone?
Nobody at school
Nobody at home
I'm constantly searching
Never finding
Something that would serve to hold me and bind me
Looking for friends
Looking for love
Watery Sight at times of lonesome Nights,
To Ponder,
To Whimper of tomorrow’s whispers and what will be in store
Or if I’ll mourn.
Boiled blood, tears are shed and burn to nothing
It creeps in like a fogblanketing the sky in pale graySlowly it seeps into the lungsa lethargic poison, aging the bonesIt tunes the heart’s metronome indifferently
Like a dark seed
blooming in the night.
The warnings I did not heed,
everyone thought it was such an awful fright!
Can I help but want to fight
a choice not my own?
The light in her eyes fade
The shimmering in her eyes, now as black as coal
No meager words can be found to describe how her heart aches
This agony. This wretchedness. This torment.
You wouldn't think that it would be this hard to listen to your own thoughts and your own heart.
The silence doesn't help, it only makes it worse.
The silence makes my thoughts lonely, makes my mind race.
It's cold
But the sun is out
She's surrounded by a shadow
It keeps her quiet and alone
While she was hurting inside Her friends decided to put her aside She was beautiful and bright Yet she could not seem to find any light The future extremely worried her Money problems had mother and father She tried to fight the terrible feeling
When you are born; you’re new
New like a crisp clean canvas
Just waiting for color of the life that you’ll live
Some of it may be red, some of it blue
It waits for events by only you
I saw him lie therecold still, and grasping for airThe pills were many but still too fewHe flatlined sooner than I even knewUrgently saved, yet another time
Little left was said,
Just memories in our heads.
Bullet to the brain...
Crazy!
Not insane.
Whispers in the dark,
He cried from a broken heart.
Baby all alone...
Momma left this home.
Don't take out your unhappiness on me,
It may just lead to another tragedy.
Lord knows,
We have enough of those.
Do your best to make them smile,
While you don’t think you’re worthwhile.
Students like me have to go around pleasuring those who have authority over us
There is no such thing as resting
All there is…..is testing
I want to protest against it
But what can I say?
In the beginning there was the World, HE and I.
The World was vast and forgiving and I was happy.
"You have me, just take my hand."
I said,
As you sailed into the depths,
But remember I do care, my light shines through your windows,
Your heart is my home too.
Blood goes down my leg,
Blood goes dripping down my body.
And honestly,
I really don't care.
I like the feeling of being cut.
I like how I can cut myself,
How no one else can.
I like how when I cut,
Scrambled eggs inside my head,
Words untold and words unsaid,
I could not write to tell a tale,
I could not speak in fear I'd fail,
Yet here I sit upon a chair,
My thoughts spill out as in repair,
Oh only if people could really see
Even behind these curtains things aren't all perked up as they're supposed to be.
My sole intent is to bring people joy
So no one can end up like this broken boy.
While i sit here reminiscing on the fond memories that Robin Williams gave me, the one that struck me the most is Jumanji.
You say this is it
This is the day
The day I take my life
The day I die
You are grabbing a belt
You are grabbing a knife
You are stepping onto that bridge
Every single choice you make right now affects your future. One wrong decision and your life can be fucked.
Scared to make the wrong decisions. What if I end up unhappy?
This is a poem for people who are having trouble understanding that depression is not something that just happens...
What you don't seem to know is how this works
how everything seems fine on the outside,
They are the reasons I am restless most nights,
While my mind ponders over such thoughts in fright,
Am I as much of a monster as my mind portrays me to be,
Boy meets girl and girl meets monster.
He glares at her charming crow’s feet.
He scoffs at her intelligence.
The wind blows, the leaves fall, but time still seems to stop
You close your eyes, and pray to God, that your heart doesn’t pop
You feel the bench below you; you see the grass and trees,
I was 12 when it crept in
Like a shy spider
My web of anxieties was spun
But I wasn't strong enough to cut it
Instead I tickled my wrists
And when they laughed too loudly
Oh no... I feel it creeping up again, the sad thoughts and troubling memories that haunt my dreams at night. What can I do to help myself?
Little one it is okay,
Little on i am here with you now.
Little one put the knife down,
I am here now.
I know your angry,
Rest In Peace we post because he's gone
Robin Williams one of our own
Suffering from severe depression
Were we blind? The truth is no one ever looked him in the eye
Bent over laughing thinking he's so happy
Please Forgive…
Please forgive the lies, those lies, you realized were real lies in your eyes.
Forgive my tick, my tick that flicks when you click my impatience.
