suicidal tendancies

This is a poem for people who are having trouble understanding that depression is not something that just happens...

 

What you don't seem to know is how this works

how everything seems fine on the outside,

but my entire world is being destroyed inside,

inside myself it's hard to understand this feeling

this unfortunate dark demon that hangs on to my soul,

corrupted soul. 

I smile at the pain that is brought upon me. 

i laugh at the jokes you tell to cover up the tears my heart shed. 

i'm ok in front of you 

but what do you know when I'm not there?

What do you see behind my closed doors?

you don't see my pain. 

You don't see the pain I share with millions of others in the world. 

Don't say it's our fault.

Don't say it's a sin.

you don't know what this feels like.

You dont't understand that this is not something you can just turn "off" 

this feeling comes and goes, with good days and bad days....but everyday it's on my mind. 

How close I am to doing it is something different...

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