'glow-up grow up scholarship slam'; scholarship entry
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If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?
Millions are jumping off a bridge in the pursuit of convention and normality
Normality is a dangerous expectation of society
Once there was a time
When I couldn’t walk
So I crawled
When I couldn't talk
So I babbled
When I couldn’t read
So I imagined
Your mind is like a garden
You can grow flowers or you can choose to grow weeds
She amazed herself at how far she had grown
From the soil, she tended and not always with ease
As a little girl, I always had trouble forming close friendships.
Maybe it was due to my inherent shyness,
but two or three buddies were the cut-off for the fellowships,
because of a strange shortage of kindness.
Above His head he raised his hands, out of Fear, he cries don’t shoot Resolute In his decision, but no lawsuit I can’t breathe Underneath The pressure of their skewed beliefs Walking at night with skittles and a hoodie Duly Noted, that soon he W
For a long time I didn’t know—
like I had over my eyes a large blindfold,
some cosmic joke I still pay for
—but it turns out I don’t quite fit the mold,
any mold. In some other life the person
Six years old
Running around chasin’ after boys
Free spirited & high on life
Lots of laughs & lots of noise
I grew up watching cartoons on Saturday morning while eating cereal but so does everyone. Right?
I used to ride my bike throughout the neighborhood with my bestfriend but so does everyone. Right?
A bildungsroman,
From child to woman.
When did hide-and-go-seek
On playgrounds and
Yelling “cannon ball!”
Into meadow creaks
Become too childish?
When did asking for dollars-
In elementary school, I
gained so much knowledge about all the
rarity in the world. Alphabets,
elephants, and fractions. No matter
An ugly egg
A newborn angel
A sigh
All enter a room
Unidentified, unsocialized
Yet the air closes in, closeting hearts
Fury, Confusion, Ignorance run in
Crowding the virgin
Being the oldest of three gave me the unspoken job
To be their guardian angel and hold them when they sob
I had to move on.
In order to grow up,
Cause from that damn couch
Daddy never stood up.
I begged him to play
For just a half hour,
There are defining moments
In which you feel
Propelled or pushed to success.
These moments drive you
To keep living,
But what about the moments
When I was young I was given everything
I thought that even though things don’t come for free
They’d still be cheap
As I got older I realized
Realization hits unexpectedly in a point of life
When there’s little of play time and, chill time is a waste
of time…
Time. It is of the essence of
something so beautiful, precious, and sacred
she was with child. a mild shock went up my spine fallowed with sickening realization. degeneration of my own life had begun. anyone could have seen it coming but me. she was silent. while I fell into a violent void. humanoid, less than human.
Shy, curled-up, shrinking, minimizing
Please don’t notice
Pangolin arms clutching The Complete Works
High school is hard for the meek
Everyone looking
Ever since I can remember my grandmother would take me and my sister to the fair.
Those rainbow rides rolled into Henry County once a year.
My grandfather would volunteer to work it,
growing up is not the fairytale
i was led to believe it would be.
from a young age i was force-fed fables of fetching
prince charmings and sparkling
white horses and a pristine life
They wish to ignore our bodies laying on the ground
They ignore our screams as if we were clouds
Just carelessly going about their day
An angel they called the princess,
even scarred she was perfect.
Whenever she stumbled, cuts and scrapes blemishing her wings,
they clamored around-
"Where does it hurt?"
She would point at her arm, leg, face
She was fearful of the crepuscule,
The shadows that danced through it.
Its wicked chased her all around;
At club, home, and school.
Standing alone,
In a universe full of clones,
It was not until I joined gymnastics,
That I took a leap entirely on my own.
Standing alone I learned grace,
Not how to chase,
Nothing quite hit until I lost my uncle, R.I.P, then I lost my aunt, death was going on a shopping spree
A year after that I lost another uncle too, I didn't understand the concept of death from their point of view
I grew up,
learning that there was more to life,
than sitting down watching sonic on saturday nights.
I grew up,
at the age of 10,
when father thought he should play pretend,
Life is a series of little moments
Strung together like pearls on a necklace
All adding up to a significant change—
There is no single point, no pivotal event
We all must grow to glow,
And growth is dynamically required for one to mature into the person they are meant to be.
Before my injury, I felt dysfunctional.
When you are young,
The world is pure and clean.
You are free from problems,
And it feels as though the world is at your feet.
A house of sorrow and empty roomsSo much loss, pain bloomsAnd there was no one there,
From our sacrifice, they say, we will get rewardsDrunken screams rattle the floorboardsAnd there was no one there,
The oldest child is the first for everything
The first to give up their toys because somebody wants to play with them
The first to give up plans because of course your the babysistter
Sometimes I wonder
If I ever was a kid.
I'm no Benjamin Button, sure
And I've not toiled like so many others had to
But I've had my own struggles, too.
Sometimes I wonder
Slow and steady
Soft and sweet
Things are calm
And I'm calm
Focusing on the now
The future
The past
But things are catching up
Faster and faster
Mama told me to prepare for war
But how do you prepare when you can’t see the enemy
How do you sit in silence for so long
How do you ponder over what everyone must carry
In the basement
I swung from the light cord,
that hung low, and swept the floor.
It’s in front of the balance beam I flipped off of,
before Mom could see and yell,
“Get off the couch!”
Life is fleeting, but death can remain.
When our favorite flower withers, what are we to do?
“Embrace it” they say; no truer words can they spew.
You are done, you are through,
And it is time that you move on.
These thirteen years flew,
And it feels that everyone is gone.
Friends come, friends go,
And people change.
The road that lies before you is winding,
with both good and bad turns and time to spare.
Despite the bumps that you will be finding,
people that you love will care to be there.
Old joys where gone.
Old dreams vanished
Old friends drifted
Old memories seemed like the only reminder of who I am
New hobbies became comforting
Old joys where gone.
Old dreams vanished
Old friends drifted
Old memories seemed like the only reminder of who I am
New hobbies became comforting
To the Girl I Used to Be
You thought that to fit in meant to let other kids bring you down.
To the Girl I Used to Be
You thought that to fit in meant to let other kids bring you down.
Howling, wailing, squawking, squealing.
Countering the caterwaul,
words amiss, brain bleeding, reeling, peeling
at inconsistencies in language,
finding a fault in their armor.
Build an argument of assemblage
I started out as any child would
Disobedient and misunderstood
Disobedient to the voice inside my head that told me I was enough
Misunderstood by the people who said I did too much
To be 18 and clueless goes hand and hand with growing up.
To be 18 and clueless is to sometimes be embarrassed when someone asks what your major is, and you don’t have a clear-cut answer.
When do you grow up and what’s its result?
Better question, what decides that you’re an adult?
Some people say paying taxes, getting your license, finishing school…
…drink at the bar, be in the jury, or finally move.
It's kinda funny it is,Was never really a wiz,But now that's how it is!
I could have gone for less,My brain could be a mess,Now way I want the best!
Oblivious to things that I may
have never seen
Clueless to those that didn't
speak for multiple reasons
Now as I approach this
New age and new season
One day you’re 5
Heading off to school
For the first time
And your biggest concern in the world is
Who is going to play with you
On the playground
One day you’re 5
Heading off to school
For the first time
And your biggest concern in the world is
Who is going to play with you
On the playground
Ring ring at the start of the day.
Morning, time for me to wake.
Turning, 5 more minutes I wait.
Knock knock, get up, get ready.
Father, I was just resting.
Yawn yawn, I sit up start walking.
Growth comes with questions.
Questions follow with answers;
however, not all questions are meant to be answered.
"Did this always taste this good?"
Yes, it did. I grew.
if there’s a record for crying
my mom’s coming to take it
because my dad wants love
and what he has with my mother ain’t itthis is the man i looked up to
He was confused and in pain
From the malady in his brain.
He had no idea it had been there all along.
I realized that I needed to be strong.
Observing
Gazing at others through an eyeglass
Each life as intricate as my own
I wonder,
If I had never flown
Would I have ever known?
As passersby scramble
I continue to gamble
A lucid brisk wind overcame me as I waited on the curb of what
seemed to be a florid hospital to me at the time.
As my sister was loaded into the wheelchair days after brain surgery ,
The more you know, the quicker you'll be to realize that you don't know anything at all.For every sunrise, the sun is destined to fall.Hah, but isn't that so obvious?
I'm alright…
That was what you told me
You always said that I'd be alright…
But that was before you left
Things only got harder from there
My love is like a rose
When given, it works like magic
Beautiful and bloomed
But when it dies, my love becomes tragic
Heart broken and misspoken
I suppose,
The moment I realized I wasn’t a kid anymore,
Went a little something like:
“you cant call out of work just because you’re sad”
My face planted firmly in a pillow,
I used to think I’ve felt the depth of depression,
But I never actually have
Until now.
Its an overwhelming sadness,
Almost painful.
Actually,
It is entirely painful.
So lonely,
Consuming
And That’s the Tea: Reality
I always imagined what college would be,
but never expecting what would become of me
The money never lasted long
Do you know what it’s like
to feel lost?
Like a ship in the sea
caught in the midst of a storm
with no way to navigate home?
Do you know it’s like
do be so certain you were doing the right thing
Experience with someone who is a liar
Will always make my heart burn like fire
I can't imagine why someone would do such a thing
Not understanding what kind of circumstances lying may bring
For every wish you make
It costs you a little bit of hope
Once hope is lost...
You’re left with only you
So you lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling
From the prompt I got ramblings I can't contain
Smile straight through the pain
For me to obtain
Happiness is as realistic as trying to gain
Many people have prejudices
That start out from childhood
Not just the hurtful kinds
But ones against new things
Things they did not grow up with or were not used to
I started as a young girl,
wondering what I would do with my life.
Would I be a doctor, a teacher, a crazy scientist?
Would I be a writer, a lawyer, or a real estate agent?
I started as a young girl,
My father was born and raised in the small, rural area of Moncagua, El Salvador
Quiet as mouse. Afraid to speak my mind.
Looked over and undermined as if
I was invisible, non existent.
Intelligence, beauty, grace,
Powerfulness, kindness,
Feminism,
She's going far
and i don't mean a
"two hour drive to a different city" far
i mean a
"seven hour flight across the country" far
but She chose this on her own
She's going far
and i don't mean a
"two hour drive to a different city" far
i mean a
"seven hour flight across the country" far
but She chose this on her own
She was
young, determined, naive.
shy, yet eager to please.
She was
little with a big heart
brave with all the scars to prove it,
because in her little mind she had nothing to loose.
Tears couldn't stop the fireExplainations couldn't win the caseThe wise intution warned me about this...I was sent away
Twenty-one years old
throwing my life away.
Roaming the streets with friends:
Running, but staying in place.
Where do I go from here?
They smell nothing but fear,
and because of that,
When I was young
Mama said I “got a light,
Let it Shine.”
I was bright and optimistic,
But darkness crept in my mind.
The words I say aren't of a victim,
They're words that need to be shared.
The tears I shed aren't of fear,
They're tears that wisdom made clear.
Make no mistake my intention are true,
There is an irony in these words for sure,
When I am a teenager who is known to be mature.
I have not stated that I am an adult and can do whatever I want like others,
Being a kid was elementary
Inviting everyone to your anniversary
A couple of passes for being fussy
A few free passes for being bratty
Branching off to a new school
Power went to those who were cool
Playing with my bathroom toys
To learning to be poised
Building a livingroom fort
To flying alone at the airport
Searching for shells on the beach
To giving my classroom speech
An ever impeding question
Ringing through my heart
And into my mind
Waiting for my ignorance to depart
And the truth to emerge
Am ever impeding question
That the answer will bring--
Perhaps, as a infant, we are all the same,
Wriggling in linen as we are given a name,
The same chubby smile that once graced our faces
Looked upon all the same.
Such was my story, and then I was 5,
My mindseet is nothing that can be changed
If I make a bad decision, I will not change
My stubborness will not change
If I lose my friends, I will cry, but not change
My way of choosing will not change
Rushing, rushing, rushing
the current in my mind
a constant reminder of the light I cannot find.
Freezing blue water,
turns my heart cold
my pack has forgotten of the "I love you's" I once told.
I remeber the days
distant, as if in a haze
I remember the feeling
gone, but still healing
I remeber the panic
the seeminglingly never ending manic
I don't remeber when it happened,
What they don't tell you about growing up is that you sometimes have to do things alone.
Once you turn 18, it goes from "honey, how can I help?" to "Well, figure it out you're grown.".
He kissed me
He took something
A first of many
Something I followed with a smile
To mask my fear
I didn’t feel any different
But I knew
Something was different
A Child.
Nothing more and nothing less,
They always said simplicity is best.
Raving dreams and great adventures,
That now lay lost within the pictures.
Naive
Trusting
Ignorant
Pretending that the voice attacking me
Was only the soft utters of a friend
I used to think that if I sung to the rain it would go away
Ending my already bad day
Of having to stay indoors and listen to them argue
I used to think that
If a boy calls you names that means he likes you,
Shining new souls, delicate and bright,
Disfigured and mangled over time.
A mother, dependent, oozes her insidious defects unto them,
awakes the next day, oblivious and ignorant.
A father,
because im scared too
i remember you told me when we were at K'OOK last Tuesday night
and i wanted to say
me too
I bury myself in multiple layers of clothing.
White jacket over white raincoat over white t-shirt over white lifevest.
The crowd can’t see me when I’m snuggled in all this fabric.
And there she stood.
Her bright eyes clouded with storms,
Her arms hugging herself as if to stay still,
As if to remind herself to be anchored
As if to tell her to let go.
She hung her head low,
I remember the time five of my friends
and I used a monitor as a karaoke machine
and blasted high school musical songs so loud
that we could be heard from the streets below.
We had colorful strobe lights going from
The old sneakers in the garage
The old school artwork against the wall
My old toys, old memories.
Seeming to be drifting away from me.
It is all starting to feel like a mirage
Every second, every day
Keep moving. Never quit.
The keys to success.
Don't be discouraged
by people who think you can't.
Believe in yourself and you can succeed.
All you have to do is be constantly moving, pray, and always dream.
Settling misconceptions
Leaving the tensions
Done with the one sided two sided war
I surrender.
With unclenched balled fists, I praise.
Little Miss Perfect curls into herself
She smashes her sandcastle to rubble once more
Again, again, again she’ll try.
There comes a time in everyone's lives
They start anew
And rebuild their ideas of what is true
Us as kids, we’re all to trusting
He was just a babe
Yet I could count his ribs
Head flattened from orphanage cribs
He stared at me
I shrank away in fear
Wishing his image would disappear
He remained real
when i am six there is a princess, a prince, and a villain.
one beautiful,
one brave,
and one bad.
good beats evil,
It was like waking up.
Like everything hadn’t been real before.
The daze of childhood,
Of comfort, protection, and sheltering,
Of a primitive sense of control even,
Vanished.
