From the prompt I got ramblings I can't contain

Smile straight through the pain

For me to obtain

Happiness is as realistic as trying to gain

A full tuition scholarship from a for profit institution intuition dictates depression

but "don't get upset" when your in debt and didn't even begin working in your profession

Life's questions usher-in confessions...

Like when, I came to realize id have to decide my whole future just by choosing my college

Really im choosing how many dollars

I want to owe

Noone else can decide it looks like im on my own

Then began praying for some advice but they only tell you what they'd do and that you have to live your own life

So truth be told each way i go how can I be right

or wrong,

Can't turn back face the fact the only truth guaranteed is that independently time marches on

So now i'm on scholly applying to things I probably won't obtain, tying to write out my way to pay for a dream

Wondering when I'll wake up as my younger self again

Before I had to make these convoluted decisions

Or had to learn life's curse is your stuck on this earth so you make your fate go out and take your place no approval can dictate your worth

Isn't this America?

My own blood

I enjoy the taste of my own blood

The way it pours from and onto my mouth

Like propaganda

Its like I enjoy it when I force it to take my colonizing tongue

as it strips it from ever retaining its flavor

From blue to red as it passes through my white skin

There's no need to know from whence it came

they'll all just end up in the same place without a face or name

Each drop, once a collection of something greater

All sucked of its nutrients and life support

For my masochistic enjoyment

And of course I would

Abuse that which fills me up, which makes me who I am, take its life while it gives me mine, send it through a correctional system in which it doesn't belong, treat it as though it was never a part of me in the first place

After all the history we've had

After all the blood already shed

After all the work the body does to keep it together

After all thoughts and prayers

I'm just going to drink and drink and drink because I can't stop myself

from drinking it all until there's no more after all

Because after all

In comparison to my skin it's just a minority anyways

After all, that's the American way right?

In Full Character

Watch how it runs

my blood is the payment they want

But why does it need to be in the streets for you to see me

why must you just see a victim in the end rather than a person from the start

could have saved my heart from pumping my body dry as I lay bleeding screaming dreaming of my next of kin

what will this mean to them then who's the villain

Did you think of the children far too desensitized by constant coverage of this

What if we lived in a world that was different

Less prisons renovated the educational system

I get the feeling it'd make too much sense

can't tell you where common sense went but since its absence it seems we've been in debt

So again...From the Top