hurting
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I’m hurting
I feel the swell begin to form
The back of my throat begin to hurt
Tears begin to drip but I wipe them down
It's so ironic how after heartbreak, a simple everyday item turns into the things that makes you fall apart,
And it doesn't take much for every little thing to remind me of you, even though you were the one who broke my heart.
Emotions,
too hard to hide
feeling,
sensitive to the touch
feeling these emotions that I have for you
makes me vulnerable
for I feel too deeply
i feel,
a few days agoi wanted to sit down and write about how unappreciated you werenot that i changed my mind, noi still believe thatbut todaytodayi'm hurti'm hurt that
I want to tell you,
believe me,
I really do.
But I can't bring myself to.
You see, it hurts you when you know.
So I hide it from you,
from everyone.
I fear I have lived far too much life in far too little time.
In my 16 years I have loved and died and been revived more times than one could possibly count.
Grace be that flower and how she glistens.
Your eyes sift along and you don't see truth,
It's not about the grace but who listens.
She will need you to see through to the youth;
the constant fights
they have to stop
I'm tired of sitting here with my mop
here to wipe your tears
at your command
you don't put in mind my need or demand
I'm always in the middle
I don't want to see you again
and I don't miss you
I don't want to feel your skin
as it graces my own skin
I don't want to kiss your lips
during a foreign sunset in some foreign place
Is it self-torture to allow these thoughts to steep in my head?
I miss him.
The cruelest part of love is distance
especially when brought in close proximity:
it hurts to see him every day.
She lies in the dark
scared to be alone with her thoughts for even a moment
that they might overtake her
or that they'd swallow her whole
as if she'd never see the light of day again
The things you said were more than words:
Those evil barbs you fired my way
Were meant to hurt, to crush my pride
So stunned, I had no words to say
-
I took one on the chin and once
I don’t have tattoos to hide my skin
I use them to show what I represent within
As my body is the tongue that my mind speaks
And the stories I have on my body are still incomplete.
I would like to thank
My past love
For the pain she put me through,
And the healing I was forced into
For it was the healing,
Stitching of the broken halves of my heart
I never knew I would end up here. Crying over my best friend one day.
Maybe I'm scared to leave him. Maybe I don't want to.
Who knows...but now I'll be leaving him in this mess of a world, mess of a town.
They will say to stop
Once they find them
Those thin slips of red lining your wrists
They will say to STOPSTOPSTOP
Find another way find another outlet find something
ANYTHING
The light of the Lord
Shines within me.
Where I was once broken
He mended me,
When I felt alone
He was always with me.
When I was lost and hurting
He took me by the hand,
Why do we come to meet people
That are just going to leave?
Why do we get close to most,
Because in the end it's just going to hurt.
Yes, the time with them are memories
That can never be replaced,
i swear the shadows take me,
just like i swear that i am fine.
i swear that i am hopeless
but i swear that i am trying
i swear to lift my head up
when others push it down
i swear i know my place
i am sorry
i am sorry if you confused me for home
usually flowers do that too.
i dont blame you for doing that
i dont blame you for throwing words into the sky
You.
I’ve cried more times than i can count today.
I don’t know what will become of us.
I want to stay with you because you do make me happy, but nothing is written in stone.
One peron's Heaven
Can be another's Hell
And truthfully I say I hurt
I shudder
I weep
Is something wrong with me?
How unfair must it be
That I am unhappy
Dear Everyone,
I think I'm failing life.
My brain tries to decide what's important,
But it always gets it wrong.
What am I even doing?
Missing homework,
Missing friends,
Missing a purpose.
Self-Inflicted
I do this “thing.”
I bring more pain to myself when I’m already hurting; and I can’t stop.
I crank the sad songs,
I drive in the pouring rain,
He spit ink into my throat,
told me it would soothe
the ache I felt.
It wasn't until a week later,
when my lungs collapsed,
that I realized he was hurting me.
Broken to Beautiful
This world is
Broken
Sadness
Floats the air like smoke from a cigarette
Depression
Although you are not mine anymore
My heart will carry you regardless
My rock my everything
Why did you have to go
You carried so much of me
You pulled me out from the dark
When I couldn't breath
And now your heart is hurting
And I feel it too
As mine has always
Been hurting for you
I've tried evading the situation
but I have bled for too long
and I can no longer be strong
My heart has called for a confrontation.
The betrayal is quite tiresome
After I made my declaration of infatuation
You sent me to damnation
A place that eats at you with the isolation
take it step by step
I say when I feel like I need to run
take it breath by breath
I say when I feel I took my last one
take it hit by hit
"Can't put your mind in a cast
but broken things aren't meant to last
Like walking on broken glass
reminding you bout scars of past
cause the world went by so fast
But not you, your stuck
People cut themselves because they feel their life is out of control
this is a form of a release from their inner soul
cutting helps them gain it back
Hate
Despise, Scorn
Shunning, Cursing, Hostility
Pain, Evil, Delight, Care
Respecting, Cherishing, Flirting
In pain when I see you
My heart begins to ache
I just cry when your insight. I remember your smile and hugs .
How much I want one . your bear hugs, were the best I confess .
Your true self criesYou are deemed as a nobodyYou seem fearless but bravery liesYou seek approval to be a somebody.
This is my story of the factors that determine me,Drive me to be who I want to be,And create my own destiny.I’ve never been a size twoAnd everything I would doWould be wrong to you.
I jumped into the ocean one starry nightIn hopes that maybe you'd save meBut the waves came crashingAnd took me into their embrace,They took me to my sweet escape,Under the night sky, under the stars
betrayal
and aching in your lungs
the last half-sip of wine
no u-turns
one
missing
stitch
bleeding ink on left hands
whys and what-ifs
alone at a table
I sleep in nothing but a chain
A short, gold chain draped on my neck
It weighs on me, I feel it closing in
Choking me when I am weak
My sister's bones lie beside me
You say that you care is it really true, I'm hurt I'm bleeding all because of you, it was perfect before what's going on now. Have you found another heart? Are you playing around? Wiping tears from my eyes. Something you use to do.
People think they have me figured out
That smiling, funny girl
Described as me
But that's the cover of I
I hide more underneath my skin than the anatomy books say is there
Tears saved till it's too much
How do you smile when all you want to do is cry?
How do you explain your feelings when you can't explain?
How do you laugh when its hurts to smile?
How? Can you tell me?
Nothing makes me happy, I've tried everything,looked at my options, but joy they didn't bring.Linked to my brake up, with Brooklyn,all the sorrows and regrets, I took in.Hurting, but at the same time not,
I can't seem to understand why we aren't connecting.
Your taste still lingers in my mouth.
I still smell you, but on strangers in close proximity
Bewildered by your smile
Ready to fall at any time
Opened up and let you in
Kept you sheltered from the storm.
Everything came to a stop
Skin is splotchy from lack of nutrition
Dark crevices beneath my eyes from restless nights
Hands shacking from loss of stability
Eyes sparkless due to a runaway soul
Mind caged no longer able to feel
i walk onto the stage
i smile and i wave at the gathered people
my mom is in the front row, right in the center
my siblings sit beside her
my teachers from grade school
my professors from college
The hurt, the agony, the pain, the betrayal, the lies, the broken promises, the assumptions, the hatred, the run arounds, the tears, the wounds, the scars, the dark, the pain, those dangerous thoughts, the nights alone, the days of torment, the
Heartbreak is something I cannot take.
I fly just to fall,
Crashing and burning.
I've smiled this smile for to long,
I'm starting to believe somethings truly wrong.
Your love was a lie
A simple smile acting as a barrier
Preventing the world to understand
hardships, heartbreaks, hurt.
Daily life is a chore
no matter how many times it's repeated
difficulty, depression, danger
Loving hurts, in a wonderful aching kind of way.
Laughing hurts, but in the good bubbly type of way.
Crying hurts, but the tears wash some of the pain away.
Loving hurts, it leaves a hole in teh middle of my heart.
this self mutilation is getting out of hand
every night i break down i know i cant stand
to stay here much longer, im am beaten and damned
to rot away slowly with nothing in hand
Best I remember, it was Fourth of July
She was laughing as she slid down the waterslide
Jumping in, doing flips, making friends on the fly
I never would’ve guessed she held a secret inside
Hope is feeling left out because your two best friends have significant others. Hope is someone you’ve known for three years telling you their love story.
Stop. Stop telling me to cope.
Do you me enough to say the words you have spoke?
To ask me why I’m hurting just isn’t enough
White turns to black. Hearts began to crack. Eyes filled with salty tears, one of their biggest fears. Open casket, scared to see. A young girl staring back at me. For then I knew, the girl looking back, was me. - A.B
She looks up at the clouded sun
For the thousandth time today
Feels the worlds ambience around her
What if we were lovers?
From the derm to the core?
What if we were the shutters to Hatred’s Lore?
Would we dance with the rays?
Smile at the budding moon?
And hate decay and ruin?
You ruined my life
By causing me so much strife
You were my best friend
That's why it's so hard to comprehend
My heart burns hottest flames blue
My body sweats being in the sun
My mind's lost my heart's empty
All my emotions now disperse
For now my heart hurts
A flash of an image
And my mind suddenly works
"It's a girl's own fault if she gets sexually harassed!" The voice smirked, to the undiscovered victim.
Was it what she wore?
Was it what she said?
Was it how she walked or where she went?
The injuries are internal,
No physical pain.
But every day she has to go back
To that godforsaken place.
She gave up on hope,
Family and friends, too.
'Cause friends would help her
She had the whole world at her feet.
She even had friends all over the place
But at night she still didn't get any sleep
It was as if she was her own enemy
Always putting herself down to benefit others
She spends her time looking for truthIn the ruins of BabelAmong the pariahs and lepersJust another lost soulTurned away from societyHer only crimeWas to loveThe wrong soulThat sung half truths
When the rain falls at night
It helps me to sleep
It washes away
All the pain that I weep
I try my best
To look beyond the bad
But it keeps coming back
Like my pen to my pad
I’m a shadow.. a background image..
No one can see…
The chaos that resides within me.
The silent tears that no one hears.
My body scarred and wounded.
My heart jagged, so badly broken.
I just broke down. Why?
For what reason am I breaking down?
Why does my pretty little face have this ugly frown?
Its's 12:35 am and so much is on m mind
So many emotions, feelings, or whatever kind
You think you want to die,
But you really just want to be saved.
Do they ignore you when you cry?
Do they see your inside is decayed?
She’s cold and isolated
The demons lurk beneath
People think they know her
But the beauty’s just skin deep
And she wants to run away
From the hurt and the pain
No one sees the shackles trailing,
What hurts the most……?
Knowing he was so close
Thinking it was over
Thinking there was no more
What hurts the most……?
Knowing there was an almost
Knowing what could have been
Take away my lifelines
Watch me fade away
I am the Gravity Killer
Wake me up with nightmares
Fill my head with ash
I am the Shadowman
