paranoia
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I’m really proud of the person I’m becoming.
I’m constantly advocating for my rights!
Even in situations where I should just keep quiet…
My grades are really good right now!
My paranoia recently has been so bad, it's making me go insane.
Or maybe I’m just faking it all.
See, that was a funny joke!
Or was it…
The stairs
The looks
The blank expressions.
I feel the eyes on me,
I feel watched,
I feel judged,
I feel scared,
I feel silly,
I feel paranoid
I'll go ahead & poor Myself a Drink...
I Really couldn't Care Less what You Think...
I Don't want to Listen Now...
i was looking out the window at a flock of pigeons in the factory district.patient a, a melancholic, was nodding off, kicking and crushing empty coca-cola cans that he had tied to his body.
Don't you See them? Can't you hear them?
Craven things
The voices that wont let you be
All ways there
allways watching, allways chating
the voiceless words
confined
The little people in my head never go away.
There’s anxiety,
Finding the negative in the outside world.
The bulletholesscattered throughout concrete basement wallsbleed hairy antennasand a million cockroachespaint the ceilingIf you're paranoid you're paying attention A quivering vibrationin silence
I look over the oceans to find you,
where have you gone?
All I can think of is
expanse united,
it must be united
to find the one you seek.
I slept hard as a bear
That eats so much food in a dark cave,
What no one notices all the time,
My ears can hear, but I have weary tears;
Beyond the walls, there is so much fear,
i hear them calling my name.
i feel their presence all around me.
i know the demands they crave.
They call for me when they are in need of something.
They love to take everything, and refuse to reciprocate.
I feel the walls close in on me As I feel the hinges of panic crawl onto my skin And the inklings of my mind. The beast has been let out of their cage again Because I forgot to obey their orders swimmingly. Now they've turned violent against me I
I could get lost in the beatuy of your eyes
Compare the, to the beatuy of nature
Crystal blue lakes, perciuos gems
I could say they remind me of home
Of feeling safe
Call your eyes bright as the stars
How are you so stupid, so naive?
You brought this on yourself.
Walked in a locked room with no keys.
Don't bother blaming anyone else,
Don't cry, beg, or plead.
How do you expect to get out?
Dear any and all,
It starts with a search.
“I think I might be sick,” you type, fingers hesitant because each word, each letter you feel like, is crying out to the world, with the quietest of voices. Look at me. Look at me.
Your silence
makes me want to
scream
Did I do
something to make you
mad?
Your replies
make me want to
cry
Did I say
something to make you
Rambunctious, angsty,
How was I supposed to know-
They all left by the next year and I sat there fuming, loathing and yet-
I tipped a bottle in honor of my pride thinking. "It's fine, everyone does it don't be a-"
I had a nightmare last night.I stood in the middle of an empty road,In an empty town,Just waiting.For what I don't know.But there I stood.In the silent,The nothingness,
About this time last year, I thought I knew what stress was,
as I walked through the iron gates of a gold and purple castle,
waiting for Nostradamus to tell me my fate,
taking classes that I thought I would hate.
It’s a specific side.
The one with frayed edges where
Paper fibers are disrupted from the interwoven
Pattern of rules calculated to win points.
No one can see the perfect matrix.
I stopped looking for monsters under the bedWhen I came to see they lived in my headWhoever tells of a monster that hidesNever had one to abide besideOh, full of scorpions is my mind
He stares at his ceiling
It's half past four
It's paranoia he's feeling
He looks at his door
No one will come
Yet, he still tries to run
Away from his demons
They scare him a ton
They are everywhere
Watching, waiting for a slip-up
Waiting to criticize you for
everything you do.
There it is again! That feeling
of eyes on you.
You turn and search for the eyes
Beings with reverse tongues One with purity And another without love, Whose hands hold strings And with their own decree Pull them manipulating, Selfish bastards using others To create a false love A false comfort of a lover Spouting lies that cr
the lack of communication is unsettling to say the least
thoughts settling in my mind to a time where paranoia never ceased
life has got me on a leash
but a noose is tighter
Mistrust and suspicion rule in my brain
They run cross country inside my heart.
Loud thumping, mind racing, loosing the control
Your breaths quicken and your sight blurs.
When we were first together it was all so unclear.
I wanted you so badly, but all I knew was fear.
Then you held me in your arms and whispered in my ear.
Demons are chasing me
People replacing me
Lies are incasing me
While the truth is facing me
My steps retracing me
You know something is not quite right
when you find yourself battling to stay awake
cause of that man you hear moving behind the wall
the one you called "Papa"
the one you thought cared for your feelings -- no
Fear weighs down heavy on your back
The creaking of the door or the flickering of the lights
Your heart beats faster and your muscles tense up tight
Afraid to face the next attack
For me, anxiety is the feeling that I am always being watched.
Anxiety is staying awake because you're afraid of what can happen tomorrow.
My mind tends to focus on the past;
So hard that the present is often blurred, giving reality the chance to once again take its toll on my peace of mind.
Im feeling all the fears
I feel dead inside
I need a pen and paper
and a thing of cyanide
This curtain is my protection,
I need it to hide myself from the world.
Paranoia and anxiety is a hard thing to hide,
And it seems no one understands it.
To me I am sweet,
To me I am kind,
Behind my smiles
My good deeds
My leadership
My love for others
Behind the eyes of those who look highest of me
Who seek my guidence
Behind all that i am
I am paranoid
There's a wicked wind.
I turn my head and grimace.
'It's too windy out there,' I whisper,
And I shut the door
But I can't meet their eyes.
They ask where I'm going.
Nowhere.
You saw me in my time of need,
saw that I was a mess.
And soon the doctor said indeed,
that yes, I am depressed.
Simply put, you weren't surprised.
After all, you knew.
In the Midst
There, he is the shadow passing by
Caused by nothing.He is the voice that calls your name;
Children scribble on the walls,Nonsensical graffitiOn the inside of the womb,Cut up and bleedingInternally.I've fucked up and I'm fucked.This demon called paranoia haunts me before bedtime
Sometimes i worry too much. Its paranoia ,
ifell in love wit this girl , sometimes i wonder ,
if what i have is enough , i really love her ,
i really care , yea my heart , i share
Sometimes i worry too much. Its paranoia ,
ifell in love wit this girl , sometimes i wonder ,
if what i have is enough , i really love her ,
i really care , yea my heart , i share
I often find myself listening to my own mind
I hear it think
And register emotion
I find it hard to control
It is fascinating
And frightening.
Here I sit upon your wrist
My digital face blinking figures
Counting up the
Seconds
Minutes
Hours
Days
Only to come around and start again.
I come complete with
The dots on the wall become bugs; crawl.
Your second skin implores you to buy in.
Allow the separation of sanity to fall,
Like the rain of grace, with razors instead of peace.
The vociferous outward expression;
Its blinking button eyes
Lashes Plucked
Clean conscience lies
Demons of possess
Its ragged red dress
Hides in the shadows; tireless
Awakened by the silver moon
Loom through loom
I have a vase
Of sad forget-me-nots
On the bedstand
Next to Emily
Rose-wooden eyes
See what mine still hide from me
Behind the thread and the needle holes
I know we still holds my memories
Wake me up
Before I lose it all
This nightmare's a little too real
Pick me up
I'm starting to fall
Pretty soon I'l forget how to breath
I'm not asking. I'm begging you now
