My paranoia recently has been so bad, it's making me go insane.

Or maybe I’m just faking it all.

See, that was a funny joke!

Or was it…

Anyway, my paranoia is always the stupidest things.

Logically, I shouldn’t be scared of it, but I am.

My paranoia convinces me that the cute worms outside of my house are leeches and that they’re going to crawl through my vents and kill me in my sleep.

My paranoia convinces me that someone is going to drive past my house, but oh no!

They’re drunk and they’ve going to crash into my bedroom!

That doesn't even make sense! My room is on the second floor!

My paranoia convinces me that all of the meat I eat has mad cow disease and everyone in my family, including me, is going to die.

My paranoia convinces me that every lump and every curve in my body is a tumor and I have stage 4 cancer.

My paranoia convinces me there’s a worm in every apple.

I don’t even eat apples! Maybe that’s the reason…
And my intrusive and impulsive thoughts are getting a lot worse too.

Like the impulsive thought I have to cut open every piece of fabric near me when I see scissors.

Like the intrusive thought I have that I want to have sex with every person in my sight.

Like all of those intrusive and impulsive thoughts I have to be pulseless.

I know I don’t want that…

Why do I think that I want that?

What am I even saying??

It’s not paranoia!

I can just tell that none of you actually like me!

Even if you tell me that you love me, I won't believe it because of my paranoia, not paranoia, whatever.

But it wouldn’t hurt to have a little reassurance.

It would be nice to know that worms are just worms,

That cars can’t fly into the second floor,

That only 232 people worldwide have gotten mad cow disease, only 4 of them in America.

I researched that in my panicked state of mind last night.

It would have been nice to know that breast buds are natural and that I never had a cancerous tumor.

It would be nice to know that all of the food I do and don’t eat is bugless.

It would be nice to finally feel loved!

So please, reassure me.

Because my paranoia has gotten a lot worse recently.

I’m not insane.