' 'anxiety

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I'm having one of those days Where every insult I can tell myself  Is rolling around in my head I'm not smart enough I'm not capable 
At 16 I diagnosed myself with mental pain since then nothing was the same I prayed to god everynight just to keep me sane.   At the age of 17 my pillow was my bestfriend
i dont feel okay, not anymore. matter of facti dont feel. everyhting is numb.  i dont feel sad, happy. i dont cry anymore, but when i do, i break and shatter.  i dont smile anymore, but when i do, i glow and beam.
i dont feel okay, not anymore. matter of facti dont feel. everyhting is numb.  i dont feel sad, happy. i dont cry anymore, but when i do, i break and shatter.  i dont smile anymore, but when i do, i glow and beam.
i dont feel okay, not anymore. matter of facti dont feel. everyhting is numb.  i dont feel sad, happy. i dont cry anymore, but when i do, i break and shatter.  i dont smile anymore, but when i do, i glow and beam.
my shoes on the ground step inside them be me. feel me. hate me. love me. feel what i feel let me flow through your veins feel my terror  feel my hatred feel my sadness
my shoes on the ground step inside them be me. feel me. hate me. love me. feel what i feel let me flow through your veins feel my terror  feel my hatred feel my sadness
I'm feeling anxious and I can't stop. it comes in waves that crash over me and pull me in the riptide. I can barely surface  to breathe. I can feel the oxygen slowly leaking out
Life will be good And I'll be free From the hurt and the pain That had a hold over me   Won't push people away
  I stand in front of the ivory-rimmed mirror Wrapped in a towel, water dripping from my hair I drop the towel and look at my skinny self Not enough – Not clear enough skin, not bright enough eyes
My dearest friend Anxiety, 
It can be fun I can be fun Then it starts  I spiral All these people around me--laughing, enjoying Me, in my own mind I feel so isolated. Part of the group but not really
  Hey! I'm your fear. Yeah I've always been here.  You may not have noticed. But trust me I'm here I'm here through that first and last day of school
  The shaking from head to toes, the drug demeaning, the depth of the hollow bones. It keeps you staring into oblivion, 
Every step, Every breath, They chase you, Sudden death Is this it? We wonder, We cant know, We hide   The glass-like void of silence fills our veins As we listen to the cries of our brains
My anxiety is a mobile phone on silent mode It keeps buzzing silently everytime someone says hello Or tries to initiate a conversation Only after they leave
I have anxiety Not the classic shaking and hyperventilating anxiety The “I’m scared” The “Something bad is going to happen” The “I’m dying”
I’ve become a master of breaking my own heart With simple thought hopes and dreams that I set myself knowing it is impossible to reach  I will never reach or accomplish them I will never go
Covering myself in the atrocities of every human, plant, and animal, I could think of myself no more rotten, no less than putrid.  
I invite you to gently feel the faint mist of dawn dust your face with dew. Feel the heavy warmth as the sun breaks the horizon and casts its shadows across the canvas of earth.   
She
She was told she was different. She was told she was an “abomination to God.” She got dumped by her girlfriend. She has a broken heart.
My bones, leaves on the trees of a windy autumn morning My stomach, fluttering, ready to fly away, leaving me behind My heart, a train pounding down the tracks
Everybody wants to be a god.  God! I would ruin everything. Everything that I touch, Touches of chaos on earth. Earth becomes still, Still I continue to destroy. Destroying love and hope,
Not proud to say Just telling the truth Accepting my flaw Detached as hell I'm like air I could be hot I could be cold
It's a dark in here. I can't see clearly.  I think I steped on something sharp... I don't know if I'm bleeding.  Do you think there are snakes? I don't want to get hurt.    Wait, I think I see light!
Look readers,  I'm breathing but not living.    Day by day  My mind is in pain.  My mind is in hell.    Anxiety and depression have no room in the showcase.  The show must go on. 
"it is imperative that we, modern-beings, remember the mythicalities from long ago,  from the demi-Gods to the creatures with those halos" reflecting with some friends regarding these old fables
  Shaking, breathless, stumbling. Shaking hands on a keyboard.  Feet tapping the ground. Anticipating the failure that is yet to come.   
Click, start, initialize.  New variable.equals (new life) Set name perfect Wait backspace, never too soon to possess  Delete, never too soon for success  
I call it the blockade. One seemingly impossible to surpass, All efforts terminated, All that is left is frustration. Panic. For what’s the point of trying, When nothing changes?
What do you want to study? What do you want to be?  What do you want to study? Where will your path lead?   When they start to ask these questions,
I knew what lied ahead So I chained my feet to the ground Refusing to travel to that place But it was inescapable   The world ripped me away 
dear, anxiety   it’s so weird that you have a name now  I use to always think that’s just how humans lived on 
once upon a time i showed my age by holding up this many i wanted to be an astronaut or a doctor i was afraid of everything but had an unwavering curiosity.
I look back to my youth My pride, joy, confidence Like a bullet proof suit Now I stay in the confines of my room 1 2 3 4 Walls containing my pain But when, when did it all change
I used to go through life Thinking it would be easier To always to be quiet, say yes And be a people pleaser. Though I thought it worked for some time It felt like smooth sailing Little did I know My own personality was failing, To grow, to blosso
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