It can be fun

I can be fun

Then it starts 

I spiral

All these people around me--laughing, enjoying

Me, in my own mind

I feel so isolated.

Part of the group but not really

Always the third wheel

Always doubting

Always drowning in unsaid words, unshared thoughts

Resenting Them for not seeing it

Resenting Them for being better

Resenting myself

Resenting being this way

Resenting writing this

I hate being alone

I hate being with Them

I hate this cycle

I don't know any other way