Microscopic
I knew what lied ahead
So I chained my feet to the ground
Refusing to travel to that place
But it was inescapable
The world ripped me away
Forcing me to grow up
When all I wanted was to stay there
Where I didn’t have the weight of the world
Upon my shoulders
I waited and waited
But the world was waiting too
And quickly grew impatient
Choosing for me
Silencing my voice
It was not my choice
To grow up
I resisted with all my strength
Not willing to just move on
Like the world expected me to
But the world pushed me further
Adding more and more weight to my shoulders
Dragging me along
Taking all I was
And morphing me into someone
I did not know
The weight poured in
Compressing my soul
I felt heavier
And heavier
And by the time I caught my breath
I could barely move
This weight made me powerless
My thoughts didn’t matter
The world was in command
Always giving me orders
On how to exist
The weight didn’t leave
Continuing to bury me
And eventually, I started to suffocate
I was trapped
Without anyone there to unbury me
Pinned under this weight
That had grown so dense
I doubted I’d ever escape
I tried to unbury myself
Too many times to count
But it only ended
With an avalanche
Burying me much deeper than before
So I turned inward
Trying to unbury my heart
By digging into my skin
Creating little holes for air
And little holes for light
Temporary moments where I felt a little free
This was the only way to survive
And the only way to stop from suffocating
Not enough air to escape
But just enough to breathe
Though
There was one night
That I dug and dug inside my skin
Hoping for breath and for light
But no matter how deep I clawed
My lungs stayed empty
And my world dark
Instead of trying to make a sound
I knew no one would hear
Or searching for an exit
I knew didn’t exist
I lied there motionless
There was no escape
No room left to inhale
So I pressed one hand over my mouth
The other pinching my nose
And surrendered to the weight
Letting it erase my existence
The weight grew and grew
Slowly replacing me
Taking me for itself
As I became nonexistent
But somehow
Light did appear
In the corner of my eye
Deep inside the weight
That was trying to destroy me
Hesitantly, I removed my hands
And gasped for breath
Staring through the microscopic hole
That let in a tiny ray
And a single molecule of oxygen
Too afraid to let it slip away
I tried to wrap my fingers around the photons
That gave me light
And a window to the world
Realizing
Maybe microscopic is all I need
Until I have the strength
To stand with the weight
And I did stand again
A bit older
Wiser
And perhaps
Grown up