metoo
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There's a void,
A giant black hole,
In place of my heart,
Because what you did to me,
What was done,
It stripped me of anything I was,
Or had become,
Or wanted to,
The vivid light
blinded my eyes
as I was reminded
of his deleterious touch
that lingered within my soul.
I struggled
The vivid light
blinded my eyes
as I was reminded
of his deleterious touch
that lingered within my soul.
I struggled
Roses aren’t always red.
Violets aren’t strictly blue.
Not every glimmer’s surely gold-
You’ll never really know the truth!
I never thought
I'd understand, fully
The pain that accompanies the memory
The stab in the back as my thoughts force me to recall
All of the things they've said to me
Some of you have never had to
Walk home with your head on a swivel
Your hands clutching keys
Your head filled with fear
Some of you
Have never had to wonder
If you’ll make it home in one piece
You’d think I'd be over it by now.
I forgave him so long ago.
But how do I forgive myself?
How do I move on, when I can’t.
hot summer sunrays
a flower growing between cracked cement
behind an abandoned house
after the animal activist event
he ravaged my body
and took my innocence
only sixteen,
There’s this saying: Every seven years, every cell in your body is replaced.
In three years I will have a body that was never touched by you:
I used to think that it was important that I immediately knew who I was.
What I found was that I still do not know. I know what I like and what I do not like.
I know I have struggled to be who I thought I should be.
Something I carry with me is my scar from the past the hunting, daunting , overwhelming scar.
Me too.
Two words with the weight of the world.
Me too.
I say them to myself.
Me too.
I say it to my sister.
Her face turns pale as the salty tears roll down my face.
my silence isa knot in my throattied so tightlyaround every chordthat I can barely breathe
my silence isa tongue so twistedthat each wordcomes out sloppilyslurred and incoherent
I was 3… how could you do that to me? “This is our little secret” you would say. Didn’t you know they would find out one day? Because of you, I grew up too fast. Because of you, I can’t forget the past. I knew that what was happening was wrong...A
It's been a year. Things still make me miss you. I can't say anything out loud thoughBecause saying it out loudMeans that itIs true.
When I didn’t think
I had what it took
I carried you with me.
I had run out of articles,
I begged a friend to print you out.
You bring your wands
extensions of your hands
brutal boyish bands
to rape my Edenic lands
in the name of exploration
in the name of ulysses
the artist formerly known as
odysseus
Her intestines have been tied into bows
By the twisted ways of Poseidon.
They decorate her like we do the dead,
And she is a skeleton waiting for dressing.
They all ask,
so go ahead.
She always knows it's coming.
"How does it feel?"
It's always snickered,
under breath.
Like the brittle bones of their cowardice
“Go for it” she says
“You can do whatever you want”
Says the girl with no self-respect.
She tries so hard to say no
This is the only way she can be loved
according to myth,
the gorgon was not always a monster
until the day she and the god of the sea were caught together on Athena’s sacred grounds
He Held My Hand
By:Bella White
He held my hand today!
For no particular reason
But, he didn’t hold it in a nice fashion.
This four walls suffocate me
While my roof begins to fall
For my head is the one who is in charge
Tormenting me with the color of red
And why was I born at all
Medusa wasn’t always a viper.
Medusa was approachable, likeable, and even flirtatious.
Everyone noticed her golden-brown locks when she walked to her cubicle.
Sauntering.
Swaying.
Doing her thing.
***Trigger Warning***
“Boys will be boys”
“Let bygones be bygones”
“Forget about it”
“Get over it.”
****Trigger Warning****
It’s like I want to tear my skin off.
I take a breath and hold it.
I can’t let it go.
I was handed this object from a man I barely knew. I remember him handing it to me and telling me to keep it a secret.
Lost to an act so long ago, a kid already but I didn’t know
what it was you that you did and yet although
I was so naïve I could tell how wrong it was to not go
Today I dyed my arm red
I drained myself of life
I sat under the stars
and took a gasping breath
Tomorrow I will wake
and repeat the same morning
I will never have the same morning
To the girl who was raped after school hours before track practice, I’m sorry.
The school halls will hustle with talkative voices but yours will never join again.
Feminism
It is not just about gender.
It is about the surrender of my identity, for a hypothetical destiny,
I die ever time I see you
I see those eyes and they remind me of a time
A time when you told me what to do
I did what I didn't want to
I see your eyes and it's the reminder of the fear I have inside of me building
Lost to an act so long ago, a kid already but I didn’t know
what it was you that you did and yet although
I was so naïve I could tell how wrong it was to not go
“Your hands held my hips. You pulled me closer. I asked you to stop. You looked at me in a way... nobody had looked at me before. You forced a kiss on my lips. I let you kiss me. You paused. I moved aside slowly, so you wouldn’t notice.
I hate feeling like I have to choose between my country and my race.
I haven't said the pledge since Trump has been in office and my heart hurts.
My heart bleeds.
I love my country.
No matter how hard I scrub
No matter how much the water burns
The feeling is still there
The heaviness remains
I can’t burn you off.
Arid remarks
Shrugged-off side glances
Painted with painful disdains
Torment and colorful disgust
Intrinsically defined by nothing but
Side comments and catcalls—
Little girl.
Speak Up, Speak Out
silence is emptiness
emptiness left by our own inaction
inaction leads to no where
Speak Up, Speak Out
nothing said is nothing done
why wait years
Speak Up, Speak Out
Do not tell me I should of been raised to protect myself
When you were never raised to respect me.
Do not tell me I should of worn less clothes
When you wore less than I had on.
I say I’ve lost my trust in men
They ask me where I put it
I say it’s in the boy who stuck his hands down my skirt inside a closet
I say I can’t smile even to be polite
It’s different than a period
Dripping down your thigh -
That’s from me: that’s mine.
Not the boy at the party who
Let you feel safe -
My body is a aching, trembling,
thinking about him. How he
held my shoulders down, then used his right hand to
squeeze the life out of my throat. I remember,
everything.
To forget would be a blessing,
to remember, a curse. Remember how he held my shoulders down
covered my screams with a sweaty palm, ripping
all pride from my body. I felt rage as he plunged through my body,
Winter: cold and numb.
My heart beating like a quiet drum.
Manipulation at the highest mountain peak,
Unallowing for me to speak.
When I stopped writing when he broke me,
It wasn't too big of a deal.
My writings weren't very good back then anyway,
It really was just “emo poetry” like he called it.
Still yet,
It was one way of coping
You never know who you can tell.
It can make you hide behind your walls and build a shell.
It started with a drink, how did it end up like this?
I didn't tell him 'yes,' so why did he give me a kiss?
When you find out don't treat me differently,
don't be more cautious around me.
It's hard to feel supported when they see
it tear you apart.
Don't ask yourself
how I'm so normal,
Patterns of abuse.
A predator in disguise.
But you’re innocent,
Maybe I’m in denial.
I need to know. Who are you?
I’ve always worn sweaters in the summertime
No matter if cloudy or skies full of shine
Sweating down my back, I smiled like I knew it
Was cool. Walking alleys, crossing streets, Neutral, just to get through it.
I look normal, I believe,
Hungry eyes of a frightened girl stealing moments of weakness in the dark by herself in the night.
I believe they don't see it,
Most of the time I try to pretend it does not exist.
You water me with your reassurance
You made me feel beautiful
You dowzed me with sun
You forgot to water me
You left me to welt
You told me I was pretty
Yet you left me out to welt
Dear Strong, Powerful, Influential women of the #MeToo movement,
Ladies! Arise and shine for thy light has come
The world has given unto you the keys to the kingdom
No longer will you be termed “The Reject”
This is a zero sum game
This life is what I mean
It’s like arguing with someone insane
They say seen
While you know full well it’s saw
Dear “The name that shall never be spoken”,
What have you created? By who were you created?
Who told you it was fine to wreck a home?
I was a temple. A garden of life. My walls were strong and I was humanized.
I had tourists of awe who would come to see me, but they never were allowed to be too close, only to view me.
Dear You,
I remember the night so clearly.
Regardless of the tiny little pill you dropped in my drink
I cannot seem to forget.
I see the scared adolescent girl,
Oh, I'm screaming, screaming, screaming
And I feel it as my soul is teeming with this
Fear, this pain, this anger steaming
From my mind and my body where you touched me
Love is
reckless and wild
yet
thoughtful and calm.
Love is
pain and confusion
yet
refreshing and understanding
Love is
Complex
yet
Simple.
But,
