Mind Games

This is a zero sum game

This life is what I mean

It’s like arguing with someone insane

They say seen

While you know full well it’s saw

But it’s pointless to argue

Because the cards you were dealt in life are simply jaw

Dropping

You don’t know why you’re here

Or why you continue

To try and not hear all of it

The strife life gives you

People say, “Don’t give up!” Or “You’re not through

Living a full life!”

You can’t get up yet

You haven’t even found a wife

You’re 15, you don’t know what waits beyond. Don’t make that bet

 

I hate the mind game

Everybody plays it

The ones the who play don’t realize that the maimed

Just stopped caring about even a little bit

We don’t care to feel

Because all emotions no matter how strong

Ever seem real

Time begins to draw out long

Some of us don’t cut

Because we are already scarred on the inside

Every emotion feel like an uppercut

To the heart, so we confide

In ourselves

No one else can understand

What it feels like to have nothing

We smile on the outside emotions canned

And locked away, tied up with thick string

So no one can get to it but us

They say emotions are nothing but a thing

But to me they hurt worse than getting hit by a bus

I cut them out without knives

I use my own mind game

I use my will to better the lives

Of others

I’m not very good so I steady my aim

As I try to reclaim

The past me, and my own name

For mine has been muddled with shame

For that I can and will take the blame

It is simply the bane

of my existence to acclaim

A new type of fame

I want to have my picture framed

In the hall of Fame

That way no one can ever exclaim

That anything is wrong with me

Because I’m tired of feeling this pain

I’m sick and tired of the mind games

 

It boils in my veins

Anger, fear, frustration

It feels as if I’ve been slain

From society with no hope of restoration

It hurts with great pain

Almost like a cremation

I walk this life and these days with no elation

I tried speaking to God for some hope or negotiation

I got no answer back or narration

All I wanted was some sort of device I could use for flotation

To stop me from drowning in all of his damnation

I wanted someone to talk to; Some form of communication

I received no reply

I waited 10 years; Maybe it’s all a lie

If he is real he decided to sit idly by

While his follower screamed and cried

Begging him to end the pain and open my inner eye

I was being abused

I was molested and yes still accused

Of being a liar

They wanted me to keep my mouth shut and deny

It ever happened

All the meanwhile through the tears in my eyes

And all of my prayers I wanted to rely

On something as fictional as a pig that could fly

I realized on the inside

That I couldn’t abide

To the rules of a myth

For I realized without anymore shame

He too “god”

Was simply a fraud

And I hate mind games

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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