notalone
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it creeps up on me
it thinks it is sneaky, but
I see it coming
It digs in its claws
i can't escape from its grip
and it pulls me down
in a bathroom stall
The nicest girl in school,
Laughs at all your jokes.
Has a perfect family,
A home to call her own.
When she is in bed,
She cries herself to sleep.
The shyest guy around,
It's hard to pretend to be someone you're notYou don't have to choose your spotYou're not a mistakeYou are a piece of artIt isn't your faultYou are not a mistakeIt wasn't your bullet to take
I can’t breathe the second before
I pass out
I won’t open my mouth until it feels
Like my head its exploding within
You don't seem to care
****Trigger Warning****
It’s like I want to tear my skin off.
I take a breath and hold it.
I can’t let it go.
It feels as though I'm laying under a blanket of metal, immobilizing me from getting up.
Some nights I have to convince myself to inhale again because it's like my lungs are fighting me to not to.
As I sit in my chair, typing away at my computer, I feel eyes, watching me. Not bad eyes. No harm is intended, I can tell. But someone, perhaps more than one person, watches me.
You always smile
You manage to push out a laugh
Your green eyes never hold hate in them
Your goal was to always make people smile
You made my world a better place
Me I fought all the people who tired to help
I try so hard
to please myself.
It's about me,
yes I am selfish,
and yes I am egotistical,
but in the end
was it really me I was thinking about?
Who knows what I think,
but me.
It was like love at first sight........ or I thought it was.
So much time and energy, I cannot even run away if i had the option.
You hold me down with your words as if they are shackles,
She sits alone,No one be told,She’s right there,Dying to be held,To be shown a new way,Living past a life of shame,It seems like a game,Noone stays,Pain craves,Inside and Out,
Lies. Spoken, disguised in beautiful words, dressed up with distate and topped with a curse. They sink it, they go deeper, they seep into the core; They weigh us down and give us thoughts we never had before.
I remember the pain.
The relentless,
nauseating pain cutting through my gut
the second I mistakenly glanced his way.
I craved him
with the senseless hope
he craved me back.
Lets get a few things straight.
1. I am not okay.
and
2. I'm not the same person who left the house a few months ago.
3. There are so many secrets that I'm keeping.
but
Words are thrown out to hate,Before it can be stopped, it's al
I write toRelease the shameI write toLet you know I feel your painI write fromThe shadows behind closed doorsI write so
Sometimes I feel loneliness in my soul, loneliness that even with people around me it can’t be removed
A loneliness that I have since December
Not even with the funniest joke will this great solitude purge.
Hush little baby, put down the knife, I am here now, you'll win this fight. I know it may seem hard, but just believe me, life will get better, just wait and see. I know it seems dark now, but you'll see the light, so long as you do
Alone is not a fun thing,
It is so painful,
It doesn't make you want to sing,
It sometimes makes you sorrowful,
Alone is different,
It is weird,
No one to talk to,
It gets boring after a while.
Not a sight nor
Neither here or there
A covering vail
Would you care?
Here today but not in the morrow
In view but far away
Yet there is
Nothing to say
Deep inside your mind, there is something
Eatting you alive.
Pleading for help without speaking words, you're trapped.
Running from the intruder in the mirror, the stranger with your face.
I came here alone, others are apparitions.
Strangers to mother's.
Opponents to father's.
Siblings are apparitions.
Friends are apparitions.
Lovers are apparitions.
Trapped deep in suicidal thoughts. Just one life. Just your life. That's all it will cost. You don't think anyone cares, but I promise. I promise; I will always be there. You don't understand. If I lose you, I'll never be the same.
Life turns to death, as the present fades to the past
Its the bleeding of pure silence...
The slow thumping of a partially broken heart..
The twinkle of a knife
Hidden by the night
Her mind flooded by judgment and oppression
Her body aching from hate
Her soul yearning to escape the cage it was forced into
She is only accelerating her fate
She is only accelerating what is intended
I cry out. Help!
I wimper and gasp with racing drops falling down my face. Help!
I am stuck in a dark, molded sphere, running into the same sides and corners. Help!
I have grown to be strong, but this is torture.
I don't know what's Wrong With Me.I only try to be me.The me that I want to be.Not my mother's me.Not the Father's me.MY me.
“I know.”
I know and I’m still here
I know and I’m still looking you in the eyes
I know and it doesn’t matter
I know and you still look the same
I know and realize how strong you are
I have coffee breath but it is worth it.
I had concert breath and sleep deprivation
but it is worth it
to feel the energy of
a dark room with only the stage lights
and an acoustic guitar
Your eyes tell a story
That plays on your lips
You’ve got much to say and yet you resist
Your mind is a novel
Words etched on your soul
But something has made you less than whole
And I know this
