Stigma
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Heat and terror in a crowd
As prone to spreading as a local disease of the mind
Or a regionally misconstrued concept in society
When the sun rises
don't look for me.
I've done something awful
and I don't want you to see.
When the sun rises
don't turn on the news.
I'm afraid that's how
they'll try to tell you.
Who is it?
Is it the mail carrier?
The bank teller?
The dentist?
The Chrisitian?
The news reporter?
The artist?
The Buddhist?
The construction worker?
The bartender?
Who is it?
Is it the mail carrier?
The bank teller?
The dentist?
The Chrisitian?
The news reporter?
The artist?
The Buddhist?
The construction worker?
The bartender?
Crying, crying, crying.
Looking straight at the barren white wall.
My roommate was nowhere to be found,
So I knew I could let it all out.
But why, why, why
Was I crying so damn much?
Lying awake at night, I start to wonder how to make it right
My thoughts take me to a place
A place I do not want to be
A place where cruel faces mock me
I wasn’t always this lost, my days consumed by chaos
An era where everything makes me nervous
And every other day my mood drops, and rises
It’s always a fight to find my way through this mind fog
You creeped inside my mind, in one instance and over time.
I felt you in my sleep, with each breath I couldn’t keep.
You hid inside my brain, and I wore a mussel of your shame.
Picture
Have to get his picture
don’t know his name
never seen him before today
He needs to be punished
They won’t put in the effort without a name
Dear non-native,
I'm a village girl
Surrounded by fried bread, cutting fish and alcohol
Family of a million, I don't know who you are
But it's okay, you're my cousin
Dear Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,
You, the bane of my existence, the pain that has persistence, no matter how I try there's no way I can outdistance you.
My thoughts are racing but they only go in circles
They're coming for you
Turn the lights on and off 14 times
You're gonna get pregnant
Smoke another cigarette
They're coming for you
rope lines have been found in our bloodlines, but
the ropes have tied themselves
into nooses, like
tongue-tying a cherry stem until you are
tongue tied, trying
Some dream in color.
Of their wishes,
Their first love.
Seeing fortune and serenity
And a God above.
Others dream of darkness.
Their phobias.
And pain.
He rests encaged
his heart entangled as the Little Red Raven has done.
The school children shout, they jeer, and laugh, as they say:
Aye! It’s you who got pecked by the Little Red Raven
I shook her hand,
feigning firmness, but
she must have seen I was
shaky and unsure.
That wasn’t the first time
At parties,
I will do some freaky dances
with calories
cus I’m like nutella
dark, chocolate,
and nutty.
Yeah,
I’m not one to hide my love of food,
in front of you, I’ll demolish a
can’t tell people anything
they think i’m crazy
i guess i am
but all i need
is someone to listen
and understand
without having to plead
Before you date somebody with amental illness, you must rememberthat calling them beautiful willnot adjust their brain's chemicallevels. Sweet words do not reversesickness that plagues the mind
There’s a stigma within the black community
That if you’re educated, you’re acting “white”.
No longer are you associated with the “ghetto”
Or should I say your kind,
If you have your pants above your waist
depression is a war and catastrophe.
you fight yourself,
and even if you win you kill
something of your essence, your soul,
but there is no help because
this world is predatory and only
Eyes open.
Hands washed?
They are.
Clothes cleaned?
They are.
Is the lock locked?
Definetly, I check three times.
Stove off?
Definetly, I checked seven times.
In this dream, blood fills to sills.
It shifts and sprays across the scene;
Not by day nor moonlit beam.
Bipolar disorder is a major part of my life
I cannot let certain people know
If my job knew,
They may search for a reason to fire me
I would be considered a liability
If a school I applied to knew,
Dear stranger,
I look like you, talk like you
I'm not in the street
Asking for a fraction of your salary
I'm not up in the schools
Waving a gun
At kids that arn't old enough
Sitting here inside myself
Specters ruminate
Suicidal apathy
My ego is irate
As I melt into my chair
Dazed and a bit confused
Everyone judges or gets judged though for some it can happen more often than it should, when it does what emotions do they feel, embarrassment, anger, shame and hurt?
Get over it.
As if it were a hill I could climb.
Get over it,
As if I could jump high enough to reach the other side.
Get over it,
Prescription pills can't remove a little thing I like to call stigma.
No one ever told me it's okay, it's okay to be so anxious you can feel your heart wanting to jump out of your chest.
Just get over it, she said.
Were these words simply a cruel joke?
I never expected to hear them
From the walking medical degree in a lab coat.
Shouldn’t you be smarter than that? I wanted to scream.
if i could change one thing, i would release the stigma on mental illness
like a goddamn balloon into the sky,
popping when it gets too high in the atmosphere,
never to be seen again.
"I still like you anyway."
"I never would have known."
"Really, but you don’t seem-"
These are things that ring in my ears
comforts you offer unthinkingly
as if who I am
